An Autumn View ~ Friend_Forever's pick.... Oct 10/2007 ~
Moderator: Spazway
Forum rules
Love poems and poems of romantic interest (not erotica).
Autoprune 12 months.
Love poems and poems of romantic interest (not erotica).
Autoprune 12 months.
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- Clearwater Poet
- Posts: 35
- Joined: Sat Jun 17, 2006 10:03 am
- Location: Raleigh, NC
An Autumn View ~ Friend_Forever's pick.... Oct 10/2007 ~
The tourists left (good riddance to them all),
returning beaches to the folks who go
to shift in sands that smooth in early Fall
while following the tidal ebb-and-flow.
A natural compliance spurs this writer
to the remembrance of a twilit stroll
a year ago when walks could still excite her
and would expose the colors of her soul;
but here, today, I’ll dash the memory
by just replacing yesteryear with now:
the past is gone—I watch a different sea
through eyes that squint below a furrowed brow.
My view is overcast—I like the way
the sea adopts my mood—forlorn and grey.
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Moderator's Note:
Nosh's Pick for Week Oct 7....
returning beaches to the folks who go
to shift in sands that smooth in early Fall
while following the tidal ebb-and-flow.
A natural compliance spurs this writer
to the remembrance of a twilit stroll
a year ago when walks could still excite her
and would expose the colors of her soul;
but here, today, I’ll dash the memory
by just replacing yesteryear with now:
the past is gone—I watch a different sea
through eyes that squint below a furrowed brow.
My view is overcast—I like the way
the sea adopts my mood—forlorn and grey.
********************************
Moderator's Note:
Nosh's Pick for Week Oct 7....
- Friend_forever
- Rafiki Moyo
- Posts: 924
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- Location: The Garden State...
Re: An Autumn View ~ Naush's pick.... Oct 10/2007
Hi David,
I really loved your poem a lot... Its how I've felt for a few days now... gray and forlorn...
Your poem's officially my pick of the week!!!
I really loved your poem a lot... Its how I've felt for a few days now... gray and forlorn...
Your poem's officially my pick of the week!!!
And as I watch you in this light
I never realized your eyes were full of
So many colors.
~ Jadynara
Re: An Autumn View ~ Friend_Forever's pick.... Oct 10/2007 ~
You took me there...twice...Well Done Mate! I look forward!
croc
croc
Linda Lee
almost human.
almost human.
- nekot
- Poetry Piper
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Re: An Autumn View ~ Friend_Forever's pick.... Oct 10/2007 ~
Well....it brought me tears...
Very beautiful David.
Like the others, I could see and feel and hear it.
Very beautiful David.
Like the others, I could see and feel and hear it.
Re: An Autumn View ~ Friend_Forever's pick.... Oct 10/2007 ~
I liked the way you'v flowed out with your rhymes, smoothly.
- Jade
- The Pages Passionate Princess
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Re: An Autumn View ~ Friend_Forever's pick.... Oct 10/2007 ~
well like haroo said I love the way your rhymes flow into the poem... they are barely noticed but perfect in every way.
I, unlike everyone else, can't seem to grasp how this is romance. I'm not getting a romantic picture from this at all. And the beginning stanza I can't seem to connect with the rest of the poem except for the different sea you are viewing in the end. The beginning lines were awesome though... How you said the tourist were all gone returning the beach... Love those lines.
My opinion. Nothing more. Please, if you feel like it, I'd like to have you elaborate a little on the topic so that I may understand this a bit more.
I, unlike everyone else, can't seem to grasp how this is romance. I'm not getting a romantic picture from this at all. And the beginning stanza I can't seem to connect with the rest of the poem except for the different sea you are viewing in the end. The beginning lines were awesome though... How you said the tourist were all gone returning the beach... Love those lines.
My opinion. Nothing more. Please, if you feel like it, I'd like to have you elaborate a little on the topic so that I may understand this a bit more.
aimed with angry art,
words can sting like all things
but it's silence that breaks the heart
click here to view **MY ARCHIVE**
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- Clearwater Poet
- Posts: 35
- Joined: Sat Jun 17, 2006 10:03 am
- Location: Raleigh, NC
Re: An Autumn View ~ Friend_Forever's pick.... Oct 10/2007 ~
Jade, I try to avoid the usual roses are red variety of poetry that is normally classified as romance. It's not typical, and I might agree that it is as much a love letter to an Autumn sea as it is a forlorn offering to the gods of heartbreak, but the underlayer is about lost love and the inevitable attraction to dark things as we wallow in delicious self-pity.
Maybe it would have been better under dark poetry.
Maybe it would have been better under dark poetry.
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- Clearwater Poet
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- Location: manchester uk
Re: An Autumn View ~ Friend_Forever's pick.... Oct 10/2007 ~
A lovely write David.
Bernie
Bernie
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