i've been looking for insanity
to no avail
i've surrounded myself
with deranged friends
and visit my family daily
hoping they will act
as a catalyst
they only provide frustration
i'm drinking more than usual,
hunting for a breakdown,
nothing yet
i've re-read psychology books
and practice symptoms
of abnormal behavior
to make them stick
all this
for one purpose
to be locked
in a padded room
so i can
scratch myself
and write
without interruption
away from the incessant
bullshit
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