moonflowers highlights August 07

Moderator's monthly picks from the "Funny Business" forum

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moonflower
enchanted by the magic
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Joined: Sun Mar 24, 2002 12:01 am
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moonflowers highlights August 07

Post by moonflower » Sun Sep 02, 2007 2:35 pm

hi everybody! :lol: wow..its September already!..as always, time just flies by!..well, here in the 'funny farm' forum there were 17 postings for August!..thats really great! :lol: all of them were simply wonderful..wish i could highlight every single one!..my thanks to all of you who came in and browsed or posted..well, here are the ones in the spotlight for August.. :grin: :grin:

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Fried Without Mishap....written by bags123

Battered onion blossoms Golden brown,
and salted while they’re hot

My opinion tells me they’re the best,
at least the best I’ve got.

The hamburger was slightly cold
The soda tastes like crap

At least I‘ve got my onion blossoms
Fried without mishap

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Two Sides of a Coin....written by Janmew

Two gentlemen of advanced age
sat chatting over tea
comparing thoughts and such
about their kids, you see.

“My children drive me crazy!”
the first man shook his head,
“I wish they’d leave my life alone
and run their own instead.

“You see, I am a widower,
it’s been now several years;
the kids think I am lonely
and must be bored to tears.

“They think I need companionship;
keep trying to make a match,
but they don’t seen to understand
there’s just one little catch.

“I’m happy just the way I am
don’t need to be tied down;
don’t need another lady
to wear a wedding gown!”

The other man said, nodding,
“I know just how you feel.
My kids do much the same
it’s really quite unreal.

“You see, I’m pushing eighty
my wife died years ago
but now I’ve got a girlfriend
who’s really great, you know.

“My children think it’s wrong,
they want me to themselves.
They meddle in my business
like pesky little elves!”

The two men sat a little while
each nodding his white head
until the first one looked up
and with a smile he said.

“I have a great solution
to our problems here my friend.
Why don’t we just trade children!
Our troubles then will end!”

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Favor....written by SeamusL

I know you are frightened or saddened or freaked.
It's there in your words, your despair so unique.
He seems like an asshole I'll gladly admit.
Such wasted potential. Why won't he commit?

The blackness you feel is making you blue.
I know you're obsessed, he's unemployed too.
But please just stop writing, such lurid details.
I get it, you're heartsick. The end of the tale.

Please join a committee that helps other folk.
Help lighten their burden, and loosen their yoke.
Then write a long sonnet of all this good work,
and soon you won't even remember the jerk.

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A Neko's POV....written by Adja

A Neko's POV - Part I

The world as I see it, is painted in shades of grey...
Here and there a patch of white....Now and then, a bit of black...
But mostly grey like me
Only not as fuzzy and squishy as me

I am not a respectable community member,
As a matter a fact, I'm quite lazy and if I were to listen to what she says, I have a record
And every time I entangle myself between her slender legs, she adds another offense
While savagely kicking me out of the house, nonetheless

Despite my earlier confession I'm very proud of myself.
Of course, this is an understatement
And I'm just being modest.
Wish I'd be self-sufficient, too.
But that's why she's here....

A Neko's POV - Part II

Oh no. I've done it again. Now she'll totally kill me.
"Baka neko!" She shouts while throwing her slipper at me.
I graciously avoid its trajectory and escape unscathed.
Those bunny slippers can be quite a lethal weapon,
Guess I'll sleep with the stars tonight...
And if I'm lucky I'll catch a cold
And she'll feel guilty and she'll stay home
And.... I know what you're thinking
Who wouldn't want to live in my fantasy world?

I'm her consolation prize or maybe it's the other way around (since I can't get any pussycat to like me...)
Probably the latter...'cause she thinks I'm a do nothing good nuisance,
Or so she says. I guess this is what people call tough love
Not a big fan of it myself
But as long as I'm fed and let to shamelessly purr under her careful touch
It's fine by me...
Though don't be fooled by my carefree attitude. The world as I see it, is not a big cheeseball
And certainly it's not made out of wool...
And firemen never come to rescue me when I get stranded in a tree and suffer from vertigo
Or when I choke on a chunk of fur or when I spill the red wine glass on the carpet
And have to run for my life...

A Neko's POV - Part III

There's gotta be crash-course on how to teach a cat, common sense and manners
I mean despite the credit they're giving us or lack thereof, it's not like we're born intellectuals or something
These past few days the mistress's been kinda aloof
And I've been scratching the back of my head to try and remember
What I've done wrong this time
Unfortunately I came to no avail.

I really got spooked when she started crying
You see I was on her lap, all comfy and cozy
And suddenly she gets up and throws the glass aiming straight for the door
And it hit me, not literally of course. The blackish dress, the nose-tinkling perfume, the dim grey fingernails, the high-heeled shoes.

Mental note: Find mistress a mate. But how? Where?
A stray would not be enough for her.
And not to mention: all my good intentions are recipes for disaster.

A Neko's POV - Part IV

As they say: the search's on. Though I have no clue if I'm a good judge of people or not
The plan's fairly simple: Get really lost and than pray to find a decent enough man, to take you home.
A few days later, I succeeded in getting lost since I have no sense of direction whatsoever.
So that was a victory. I also managed to catch a ride home. He seemed generally nice
And I was so sure it was a success. Yet after all my hard effort, nothing happened.
She thanked him and apologized on my behalf, he politely smiled and left.
Apparently she knew him and she called him Father John
Note: Avoid guys with black shirts and white collars.

After the ones I deduced were the postman, the neighbor from five houses down the street,
The fishmonger from the market, her brother Michael, her father Jack, a cop and finally a fireman,
I gave up. I felt so tired, all the strenuous work gone with the wind. I lost my appetite too.

On the other hand, she was doing well. Fantastic actually. As if she'd been plug to a battery charger
And each time one of those gentlemen brought me back, her smile would grow bigger and bigger
'Till she finally burst into laughter and after closing the door
Inquired me, raising an eyebrow: "Are you trying to find mother, a boyfriend?"
Didn't know what that meant though I imagined it was related to the mate matter
She started laughing again, calling me baka and snuggling me

In the weeks that passed, I felt something different on her. A distinct, constant, particular smell
Some nights I was left alone, some days I'd forget to eat and on some occasions I'd even scratch her.
Though she didn't seem to particular mind that.
One day, she put me in a basket and took me to her brother.
No sooner she entered their crib, some annoying brats abducted me from her arms
She said I'd have to stay here for a while 'till everything is set
And that eventually she'll come and take me back.

She was smiling all the time and acting suspicious
As if she was worried I'd figure it out.
Eventually I did. Or maybe I knew it all along and chose to ignore it.

While on something called a honey moon, I got so sick that they had to call her,
Not wanting to have me on their conscience.
The vet had a ridiculous theory related to her absence and how I was so fragile
Good gracious! And they're paying you how much?
But if you were to ask me: I'd have told you that it was the children's fault.
Pulling my tail, my ears and whiskers as if I was a toy.
Those days I was in hell

A Neko's POV - Part V

No sooner they called her, she dashed in a flash, sliding the door right in my face
A tall, dark man soon followed her.
She hold me on her lap, all giddy and glowing
A tad embarrassed, blushing skywards and caressing me ever so slightly

She introduced me to him and he shook my paw.
That night I slept between the two.
The world as I see it, is painted in grey...
Here and there a patch of white....Now and then, a bit of black...

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well hey thanks again everyone for stopping in ..its all of you who make this forum so great!.. :lol: so come on back and visit even more in September! :mrgreen: :lol:
inside each soul there is music...let the music play..

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