short story I won a competion with

[Saxon Greye]

“So what went wrong?” Jill, the psychiatrist, asked Odin. Odin was a teenager only 16, but he could pass for 20 easy. He looked down and sighed. The room had three tall windows that let the sun shine into the large room. The couch he sat upon was comfy, it was a soothing yellowish color. A few posters with motivational quotes hung on the wall. Odin wanted to say something, but he couldn't. He looked at the carpet and began to imagine designs in it.
“Take your time if you need, its alright.” Odin took a deep breath before responding, “I don't know.” He said calmly, resigned to whatever came his way. Jill looked concerned, she seemed to really care. She doesn't really care, none of them do Odin thought to himself, she just wants her damn money for talking to a fucking freak like me. Odin felt a heavy weight come over him, a sadness that left him feeling like lead.
“Your arms, did it hurt when you did that?” Jill asked looking at the cuts and gashes that covered his arms, a long cut swirled around his right arm multiple times. Odin twitched and paused, recalling the night he had read those words, and the knife that had seemed to call his name. “No.” He said after a pause. Jill looked at the cuts, Odin noticed she was reading he words on his left arm.
“So why were you out so late?” Jill asked. Odin looked up and looked her right in the eyes, he noticed this slightly intimidated her. “I told you, I took a walk to calm down.” Odin said without twitching. He could lie so easily to this person who seemed to truly care. He felt a bit of remorse though.
Him and his friend had gone out for the night, snuck out for the night. They had both gone through the same thing, they needed to cool down. It has been past curfew, they had hidden from the cops, they even went down to the swamps and hung out there for a while. Odin had talked to his friend, they yelled at the sky and ground in anger, shouting profane things to help ease the pains. They had saw an alligator, normally they would have been smart and left, but they decided to get closer this time.
“Nothing mattered anymore.” Odin said quietly. “You really cared.” Jill said soothingly. “I still care.” He whispered. Jill lowered her head and forced a smile.”What was her name?” She asked. Odin felt a pain in his heart, it was burning, but freezing at the same time. He felt like lead again, and this time he felt so numb. His entire body felt frozen, while his heart was searing hot.
“Ellena...” He whispered. Odin fought back the tears that formed in his eyes. “So why did you two break up?” Jill asked soothingly, with a caring voice. Odin had to fight harder to keep back the tears, “She told me she couldn't handle a boyfriend right now.” Odin said simply, but the sadness showed in his voice, he hesitated and spoke haltingly. “So why did you do that?” Jill asked pointing to his arm.
Odin took a deep breath in, he tilted his head up and closed his eyes, fighting hard to keep back the tears. “She..” Odin had to stop for a moment, the pain in his heart was like nothing he had ever felt. Jill saw him clench his fist fighting back pain, and quickly changed the subject, “So when the cop saw what you did they sent you to the hospital?”
“Yeah, to the psychiatric lock down facility.” Odin replied lowering his head again. “What happened when your parents got there? Did they take it well?” Jill asked. Odin looked at Jill, should he lie again? He couldn't decide, it wasn't right, before he had protected a friend. This time if he told the truth it would only make more problems...So many things had happened, it wasn't worth it anymore.
“They took it pretty well, they were disappointed but not angry at all.” Odin lied. He felt bad for lying, but he felt so horrible already he didn't care anymore. “Thats good.” Jill said relieved. Odin thought of that night, in the small room, his parents storming in...they had said that they wished he had never been born...Odin knew he was the cause of all their problems.
“So, Odin, your parents thought it was best for you to be put into counciling?” Jill asked. Odin sighed, “Yeah,” He said heavily, he continued with a rising anger, “They put me here because I guess I'm some fucking freak who needs help! I just had a bad night and everyone seems to think I am some weird psychotic freak!” Odin breathed heavily, but soon his breathing went back to normal, he closed his eyes and tiled his head up to the celing again. His shoulders drooped and a shiver ran down his spine, was he really a freak who needed help?
“Theres gotta be something missing Odin, help me out here please? I can't help you unless you tell me whats wrong.” Odin felt so weak, maybe I am a freak... He thought, maybe I do need help... “Why we really broke up...” Odin said quietly. “Why did you two really break up, its okay, take your time.” Jill said leaning in closer.
“She...She didn't really love me, it was a game...there was someone else she wanted instead, and so she left me...” Odin said looking to this person, Jill, for the help he thought he needed. “Oh, you poor child...” Jill said comfortingly. Child, the word echoed in Odin's mind, am I really that low?
“So why did you cut yourself?” Jill asked casually. “She cuts herself when shes depressed, I don't know why but I did what she did...” Odin said. Child... “We have something that can help you with everything.” Jill said getting up and walking over to her desk, “It will take away the pain, and it will help you stop cutting.” Jill said as she pulled a bottle out of her desk. “Your parents already paid for it, depression medication.” She smiled.
Odin's mind was in turmoil, did he really need so much help? Was this pain really too much? He looked at the cuts on his arms, they would all scar... did he really need it? Was he so weak? Child... His heart began to pound in his chest, it beat harder, faster every passing moment. Adrenaline raced through his veins, he felt like he was going to burst. His palms and his forehead began to sweat his eyes flashed open and he quickly stood up.
“No, I don't need those, I don't need this. Tell my parents their wasting their time trying to help me, I don't need help, I can stand on my own.” Odin said proudly and defiantly. Jill was shocked, a bit sad it seemed, “Those cuts will scar, and every time you look at them you will fell as horrible as you did before, you will know you hurt this much for nothing, do you really think you can live with it?” Jill asked, she was no longer soothing, Odin saw her for the first time as she really was, she didn't care for anything but her payment. She hated having to be so nice to him.
Odin folded his arms across his chest, and responded loudly, full of life and pride, “These scars will remind me that I don't need any help, none of your damn medication, if I can't live life without so much help then I don't want to live. I can live it though, I won't be a weak little child.” He spat the last word with vehemence. With that Odin left the room, not even bothering to listen to Jill's shouts. Odin walked proudly, and he held his head up high. This was his life, and he was going to live it.

[Black Star Shine]

this was good, no wonder you won a competion with it!

[Saxon Greye]

thank you for reading it! It was really fun to write cause I wrote it after my first ever counciling session, of course thats not exactly how mine went

still thank you!

[Black Star Shine]

no problem-o! i love reading your stuff, it has a very dark feel toit, and its very much different and enjoyable after reading other bright, bubbly pieces. kepp it up!