Lost in Paradise (in three parts)

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heinzs
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Lost in Paradise (in three parts)

Post by heinzs » Wed Jan 22, 2003 5:26 pm

Lost in Paradise

part 1: Discovery

Where am I? The barren terrain stretches to the horizon - a treeless desert, strewn with rocks flicked at random from the Gods' game of tiddlywinks. The sky blood red - the sun hidden from view just below vision's edge. Perpetual dawn - or is it dusk? It matters not in this frozen landscape. Long shadows reach their bony fingers towards me - beckoning - inviting me to enter their dark domain. I resist and keep myself to the lighter paths as I walk towards the source of light.

Who am I? My memory plays image fragments through my mind's eye - but the pictorial torrent makes no sense to me, leaving confusion and anxiety. Visions dark and somber cloud my thoughts - their bloody vividness made all the more sinister by the severe land in which I find myself. I hold up my blackened hand but find no reference point for recognition. Except that I can will the fingers open or closed, it may as well belong to someone - something - else.

What am I? I pause my rambling to take inventory. Feet bare, toes claw-like, tendons visible through the dark - skin? Legs thin and bony, covered with the same reddish-black integument as the rest of my body. I am unable to determine my gender for lack of external genitalia. My abdomen is sunken in like that of the morbidly malnourished. The rib cage is prominent, and my breathing opens and closes it like the pleats on an accordion. I feel my face with my taloned hands. The jaw is long, teeth razor sharp, wide, deep nostrils, bony ridges over the eyes - almost like ram's horns, no hair, no ears! What am I?

I awaken from a swoon - it was a dream - no? No. Everything is the same. But wait... as I try to rise my foot catches on something that tugs sharply at my shoulderblade. I pull it forward - a leathery membrane stretches between bony spines - wings! I know I am mad, for how could I be a winged demon imp? I concentrate and feel the superfluous appendages. They flap with ease and I feel the skin stretch and fill with the foul air of this place. Above the ground now, instinctively using the body in which I am imprisoned, I rise into the air to seek any landmark or solitary feature I can set as a goal.

1/7/2003

part 2: Development

I wracked my mind as I flew, trying to resurrect memory - time, place... all blank. The bleak landscape held no clue to this plane of existence. The cloudless sky remained a constant red-orange hue with that haunting hint of yellow towards which I was travelling. Then, below me, an abrupt change came into view. Like a line drawn in sand the red earth darkened to near black - a change that disturbed me somehow. As I neared the demarcation point, the air took on an even more fetid charnel house reek. As features came into focus I saw, stretching out before me as far as I could see, a plain covered in rotting corpses - a veritable sea of the dead. I took to the ground on a small rise relatively free of carrion and looked at my surroundings.

In the utterly silent and still air I could hear myself breathing - a rhythmic rasping as my chest heaved. I stood in the middle of what seemed to be a horrific battleground. The glint of bloodied steel was visible among the darkened bones and flesh. I began to recognize individual features in the jumbled mass. The tattered wing of an imp like myself rose up next to the body of a giant. White bloodstained feathers lay atop black serpentine scales. My memory stirred and I began to associate the mangled corpses with names. Human, imp, daemon, dragon, elf, angel - a lexicon of creatures and the images of their living counterparts flooded my mind. I staggered momentarily from the impact and stared into the distance over the putrid landscape. There were no answers here - only questions.

I took to the air again and resumed my quest for the source of the dim light. the horizon was divided between pitch black and glowing red-orange - opposite poles - though the dark seemed to have the upper hand for the moment. Beneath me there was nothing but carnage. Nothing moved, no sound but the flapping of my own wings as I flew on.

After what seemed like many hours and many leagues further I began to feel weary. The ground below me was more sparsely littered with the dead, and I spied another relatively clean rise ahead, where I gladly alit. Within moments I had fallen asleep. Deeply disturbing dreams made for a fitful rest. I relived the flight over the corpses. I dreamed the multitude alive and fighting noisily. I imagined fragments of conversation - words with the images... Armageddon, Ragnarok, the end of days. Other images also invaded my sleep. Lush green forests, cool blue waters, children laughing. I woke with a start at what I thought was a sound.

1/22/2003

part 3: Dénouement (conclusion)

I opened my eyes and saw a tall man struggling towards my position - fighting his way through the ring of deceased creatures surrounding my little hill. I remained silent and watched him. A vague glimmer of recognition passed momentarily through my thoughts, but then was gone. He reached the clearing and sank, exhausted, to his knees. I shifted my body erect, and he started to his feet, assuming a defensive posture with his remarkable sword.

"Wait!" I said. "I intend you no harm. I know not who you are, where this place is, nor even myself. I have seen enough death and destruction to last me to the end of time - I have no desire to add to it."

He looked at me in amazement, then slowly lowered his sword. "You truly do not know who you are/" His voice was strong, yet gentle - soothing like a long forgotten memory.

"No.," I said. "I do not know who - or even what I am. By appearance I seem to be the embodiment of a daemon - but I'm not even sure what that means. It's just another 'word' from my forgotten past." I could tell he was having difficulty believing me. "It is true, " I said. "Until my waking in this God-forsaken place I have no memory."

He smiled at my choice of words - it seems something I said had struck him humorous. I could not keep myself from smiling back at him. He put down his sword and sat upon the ground. "So this is how it is at the end." He said. I could not have been more puzzled. "What do you mean?" I asked. "Very well, I will tell you." He said.

He told a tale of two brothers, twins of opposing natures, born in a universe-shaking cataclysm. One brother was a creative force, using his energies to build with the very fabric of their universe magnificent structures of planets and suns and inhabiting them with amazing living beings. His twin was sulky and jealous and took pleasure in poking at the orbiting objects, capturing and torturing the creatures and twisting them into dark, hungry, soulless predators. The time was when the two finally came head to head in conflict. Gathering all their created forces they met on this battlefield to fight to the end. What I had seen all around me here was the result of that battle. I was still confused, and he could see it in my eyes. He held out his hand, open in front of me. Gently he leaned forward and placed it upon the ground. As I watched, the ground heaved slightly. Green shoots of grass came up from the earth, and as he removed his hand a single flower rose and opened its blooming head.

"You are the creative brother!" I exclaimed. "It seems you have won this battle."
"Perhaps," he said enigmatically. "But the cost has been great, for my universe is a reeking smoldering tomb." I lowered my head in acknowledgment.

"That is not the end," he said. "You are my brother, Satan!"

With that, he sprang up and placed the point of his sword at my throat and glowered at me. I did not move, but simply looked up into his eyes, waiting for the deathstroke. But it did not come. Slowly he calmed and lowered the sword. I remained silent. In seeming disgust he hurled the sword into the field.

"Without the contrast of dark, light is meaningless," he said. "I need you as much as you need me." And with that he seemed to shimmer from within and vanished, leaving me alone on the desolate plain of Narn in the land of Hell.

1/22/2003
HeinzS
Last edited by heinzs on Tue Nov 11, 2003 5:59 pm, edited 2 times in total.

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shadowpawn

Lost in Paradise (part 3: Denouement)

Post by shadowpawn » Wed Jan 22, 2003 8:49 pm

Very interesting..

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heinzs
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Lost in Paradise (part 3: Denouement)

Post by heinzs » Thu Mar 20, 2003 4:54 pm

comments on part 1:

preston
Posted: 08 Jan 2003 07:07:pm
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heinzs,
this strikes a very primal chord
on starting out, i was thinking ... man’s discovery of his own self-awareness
and then ... ?

intriguing
i’m looking forward to part 2

heinzs
Posted: 09 Jan 2003 01:54:am
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So am I... I have absolutely NO idea where this is going.

preston
Posted: 09 Jan 2003 09:04:am
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that sounds dangerous


Lil Gray
Posted: 13 Jan 2003 06:45:pm
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(*shudder) Hellagood!
Last edited by heinzs on Tue Nov 11, 2003 5:56 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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heinzs
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Post by heinzs » Tue Nov 11, 2003 12:46 am

comments on part 2:

preston
Posted: 28 Jan 2003 09:21:pm Post subject: Lost in Paradise (part 2: Development)
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i warned you this was a dangerous undertaking
Last edited by heinzs on Tue Nov 11, 2003 5:59 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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the quiet poet
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Post by the quiet poet » Tue Nov 11, 2003 8:42 am

I like this story a lot. You should put all three parts together in one post. The story flows nicely.

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heinzs
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Post by heinzs » Tue Nov 11, 2003 10:09 am

Thanks QP. I can't get people to read it in parts... they seem to shy away even faster from a large block of text *grin*.

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LadySaturn
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Post by LadySaturn » Tue Nov 11, 2003 3:22 pm

:shock: Publish it, publish it :shock: I am so freakin serious.. You could write a novel around this and be like rich and totally famous...

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heinzs
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Post by heinzs » Tue Nov 11, 2003 4:21 pm

Hehe... thanks for the enthusiasm, Lady S. I think it's just a short story. Maybe my second book (if I ever get my first one published) will be a book of my short stories *grin*.

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heinzs
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Post by heinzs » Sun Apr 24, 2005 12:38 am

:shock:
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heinzs
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Re: Lost in Paradise (in three parts)

Post by heinzs » Sun Jun 12, 2011 2:45 pm

:bump:
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