Chapter One -- The Courthouse

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Jade
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Chapter One -- The Courthouse

Post by Jade » Wed Sep 29, 2004 3:10 pm


There he stood with his small little beard and his gray necktie to match his suit. Hat slanted over one eye, he rested his left hand on his hip with his right barely in the pockets of his pants. He wore the same black leather shoes that I bought him four years ago when we were still together. Obviously time hadn’t been an issue for them- or maybe he just never wore the gift. As I studied him from the bench outside the courtroom I took in his figure again, noticing his long blonde hair had been cut shorter than he would have ever wanted when I knew him. He had to have a female in his life. Was it the same one? Had I ever told him to cut his hair he would have looked at me like I were crazy. He stood the same way he did the day I met him seven years ago outside the book shop- staring at the ground, one leg stretched out further than the other, leaning on his arm and the building he stood in front of, glancing up from time to time. I could see how I would like him right off. He looked rather innocent like that. Green eyes, fairly tanned skin - smooth actually. He moved his tall body to the seat closest to him, still unaware of my presence.

“Hey John,” I said as I moved in toward him.

Slowly I walked closer, watching my feet unintentionally move before me taking me to him for some unknown reason.

“John.”

Barely lifting his eyes to me to block the beaming sun, he squinted and half of his mouth formed a smile. “Is that you Jeanne? What are you doing here?”

Eek. How could he greet me like that. After all we went through and after all this time. Didn’t he care?

“Nice to see you too John. I’m here because my husband has a parking ticket. I didn’t feel like going back in there. Its judge Masters. We all know she hates women for some reason.”

I wondered if he knew I even married.

Life for some reason didn’t want to go fair for me. John stood me up at the alter right after I had bought him those lovely shoes he now wore. He never called. He never wrote. No explanation. No goodbye. Nothing. I knew where he was though. I knew that John had been cheating on me. Her house was only half a mile away from the cemetery where my mother was buried. I drove past her house one evening as he was walking out of her door to his car. He didn’t notice me then either. Slowly edging on I waited to see what he was doing. His mistress came out of the house with a small child of maybe eighteen months on her hips. I knew her. Janice was her name. She had been my best friend. I rolled down my window to see if I could hear anything.
“John, when are you going to come home today? Your kid misses you, you know. She cries almost all day unt you come in from work. What time are you comin home?”
That’s all I needed to hear. I didn’t want to know anymore. I drove away and never went back to either of them. I didn’t want to care.


“Husband huh? When did this happen, Jeanne? How come I didn’t know about it?” Was he serious? How could he possibly ask me that? What was his problem?
“Whats his name," John asked.

I thought sarcastically to myself, Oh ok. Please stop acting like you care, mister. It is rather annoying. Like I would have told you anyway."

“Yeah, I got married about ten months ago. Don’t worry though. You wouldn’t get along with him anyway," I said trying to avoid any more questions about my love life.
I looked away from his gorgeous, lucious lips and over to the road. Traffic was getting backed up again I noticed. Why was it taking my husband, Chris, so long to get out of court? I had other things to do that day.

John chimed in, “Why wouldn’t I like him? If he makes you happy then I think he’s got to be an ok guy. Does he treat you bad?”

“Oh come on John," I said. "Stop with the caring act. You never cared about me. Otherwise you wouldn’t have- nevermind. Its over with and not important anymore. I have someone else to love me now. And John, I would really appreciate it if you never asked me about him again. You chose not to be a part of my life so you don’t need to know anything about my life ever again”

I turned around and walked hastily back over to the bench and looked down at it. No. I didn’t want to sit there this time. John knew I was there and he would stare at me. So I walked on, grabbing my long wavy golden-brown hair and pulling it up in a low ponytail as I went. Who did he think he was anyway? Shakespeare?



Its not finished but how am I doing for the first two pages? :critique:
Last edited by Jade on Sun Jun 05, 2016 12:44 am, edited 6 times in total.
sticks and stones are hard on bones
aimed with angry art,
words can sting like all things
but it's silence that breaks the heart
click here to view **MY ARCHIVE**

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Angeleyes042985

Post by Angeleyes042985 » Wed Sep 29, 2004 6:34 pm

I like what u have done so far. Can't wait until u add more. This is very interesting.

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Jade
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Post by Jade » Wed Sep 29, 2004 8:42 pm

Thank you sis. Glad you liked it. I was rather surprised to have written something like this. I normally suck at stories...
sticks and stones are hard on bones
aimed with angry art,
words can sting like all things
but it's silence that breaks the heart
click here to view **MY ARCHIVE**

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jhanke
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Post by jhanke » Wed Sep 29, 2004 8:45 pm

..you don't suck at stories Jade.. In fact I am still over here waiting for chapter two of your other story.. :mrgreen: I don't wanna make my 3 chapter so I decided I'd write again after yours are in paperbacks.. gonna happen sooner then you thikn... hehe.. I can't want to read it more of this. Its very good and it makes me want to get to them all more..

Jen
Maybe I should of buried the butterfly instead of picking it apart.

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Spazway
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Post by Spazway » Wed Sep 29, 2004 8:56 pm

Jade, I like it so far. Other than some spelling errors and paragraphing issues, it's really good. Can't wait for the next installment. :)

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Floetry Spades
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Post by Floetry Spades » Sun Oct 03, 2004 11:24 am

Wow....this sounds so much better then what I had first read before...ok....I was actually outside the courtroom looking at john's Blond hair...and hating the man as much as jean did...that cocky jerk. When I read the first chapter...I couldn't comprehend it...not as well as I can do this one. I can even make a detailed summary of this chapter...heh...very interesting...keep writing. The only thing I would suggest is spacing out your quotations....


Green eyes, fairly tanned skin, smooth actually. He moved his tall body to the seat closest to him, still unaware of my presence.

“Hey John,” I said as I moved in to him.

Slowly I walked closer watching my feet move before me taking me to him for some reason.

“John.”


Keep the quotations separate from then narraration...it makes it easier to read....besides that...everything's good. I really enjoyed it...now don't let this go to your head. If you rush and make a chapter just to hear more compliments then you'll be rushing the creative process...and that can't be rushed. Take your time...re-read each chapter...and look for errors...and add in more narration and details each time you re-read them...and run it through a spell checker before you re-read it the last time. :)

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Jade
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Location: North Carolina, USA

Re: Not done yet... but Im trying

Post by Jade » Sat Jan 05, 2013 11:01 pm

:bump:
sticks and stones are hard on bones
aimed with angry art,
words can sting like all things
but it's silence that breaks the heart
click here to view **MY ARCHIVE**

User avatar
Jade
The Pages Passionate Princess
Posts: 268
Joined: Sat May 22, 2004 6:15 pm
Location: North Carolina, USA

Re: Chapter One -- The Courthouse

Post by Jade » Sun Jun 05, 2016 12:46 am

Thanks for not pruning this. I've tweaked it a little and added ya'lls suggestions. Gonna try and write a chapter two sometime soon.
sticks and stones are hard on bones
aimed with angry art,
words can sting like all things
but it's silence that breaks the heart
click here to view **MY ARCHIVE**

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