Ol' Grandam Aboard the Train

[Gavin W. Smith]

“I wish they’d close the doors already” she exclaimed in a frail but husky voice to the young mother sitting next to her, trying to settle her rowdy child. She gave no response.
“It’s so cold” the elderly woman went on.
“Oh, I know!” came the response from the young mother, accompanied by a polite, yet brief, glance at the old woman. Simple etiquette, and nothing more.

The platform announcement system squealed to life but sounded mostly of static.
“What did he say, dear? I couldn’t hear because of those two men at the door, talking so loudly.”
But she got no response from the young mother, too pre-occupied with her fidgeting daughter. The little girl seemed hell-bent on nuisance for nuisance sake.
“Oh well, I hope we move off soon” said the old woman dejectedly, casting an eye around the carriage, scanning with an empty stare, not really looking for anything.
“So do I”, came a reply, which surprised but pleased the old lady.
“I have to get this little one to the doctor.”
“And why is that?” Asked the old lady, both interested and concerned. Delighted the conversation was gathering momentum.
“Vaccination”, whispered the young mother to the old woman.
“Hey, mum!” Interrupted the little girl.
“What’s vaccination?” she said with a lisp.
“Well, Katie, vaccination is so you don’t get sick”, explained the mother.
Katie smiled.
“Lucky you, hey” said the old lady, leaning in with a smile and a wink.

The doors closed.
“Stand clear doors closing”, mumbled the conductor over the speaker system, belatedly.
“Well it’s about time.”
And with a jerk, the train shoved off toward the next station, slowly gathering in speed.

They arrived at the next station within a matter of minutes. No words had passed between the young mother and the old lady in that time. Though the older lady had wanted to introduce herself, she felt the time for that had gone. She turned a subtle gaze toward her once or twice in the hope of capturing her attention again, but to no avail. The train stopped and the conductor announced the station, again, belatedly and incoherently. The old woman sat and watched the people hurrying to get on and off the train. She watched as the young mother joined the throng disembarking the train, herding her still rambunctious child along. She sighed, and watched as three schoolgirls laughed their way on to the train and to the seat right next to her.

They wore the shortest skirts she had ever seen and near see-through blouses, their hair in pigtails and dark eye shadow, thickly applied. She at once found it quite vulgar. But realised the value of it as attention grabbing, for her attention was well and truly grabbed.
“So where are you girls off to?” she asked.
The girl nearest to her just looked at her for a moment and said nothing. The girl in the middle elbowed her and shook her head.
“Don’t mind her, she was raised by wolves” and she laughed.
“My name’s Dee, this is Qubra,” she pointed to the Turkish girl playing with her discman, sitting furthest from the old lady. She smiled and waved, not really interested.
“And this is Amanda” she said with a playful grimace and poked the girl who was so rude just moments before. She feigned a smile and said a contemptuous hello.
“Lovely to meet you, girls. My name is Marilyn.” She replied with a smile.
“So are you off to school?” she continued.
“Nah, we’re skipping school today. Going to Blacktown.” Dee replied blandly while chewing her nails.
“We’re going to meet some boys,” added Amanda. “You wanna come? We can set you up!”
They all laughed, filling the carriage with their high-pitched laughter.
“Oh come on,” implored Dee, though still laughing, but trying hard not to. “Don’t be mean, Manda.”
She hit her, though softly, as if that would atone for her behaviour. But they continued to giggle.
The old woman, Marilyn, feeling quite humiliated turned her attention elsewhere, back to scanning the carriage aimlessly, and looking at the map of the different train lines. She couldn’t read the names properly from so far away, but could still tell the colours. She quickly began to sweat, her humiliation of just a moment before taking on this uneasy physical form, helped none by her suspicious mind making her feel as if a dozen sets of eyes were focussed on her in this humiliation. She was slowly turning red, and felt pathetic. She sighed and frowned, casting her eyes onto the floor.
“Let them gawk at the silly old bat”, she thought to herself.
She thought a tear was rolling down her face and wiped her hand across her cheek. But there was nothing.
She looked up from the floor a moment or two later and caught the gaze of a small girl in a pram near the opposite door. How long the little girl had been looking at her she knew not. But she was smiling all the while. Which in turn made Marilyn smile back, and the little girl clapped her hands. The child’s mother seemed not to want to acknowledge Marilyn. Gazing intently down the stairs to the bottom level of seats, not once looking elsewhere or at her child, fully aware of Marilyn’s casual glances from the child to up at her. But she had the child’s attention, and that seemed enough for her.

The train pulled into the next station; she and the mother and young daughter were the only ones getting off. The three schoolgirls began laughing again as she stood in front of the door, waiting for it to open. When it did she stepped out onto the platform, followed by the mother and her daughter in the pram. She stood and watched them rush off towards the elevator up to the station concourse as she gathered her thoughts. She let out a sigh, but soon forgot about the train ride.
It was cold so she buttoned up her cardigan and walked off slowly toward to elevator.
“Tomorrow,” she thought to herself, “I’ll catch the bus.” And walked off with her days list of tasks.

[Mary O]

I enjoyed this little train ride very much. I took it all in as I sat in the seat behind, hee,hee. Well done. <img border="0" alt="[ThumbsUp]" title="" src="graemlins/thumbsup.gif" />

~Mary O

[ehli'schild]

it was pretty intriguing. i like what you did here, very true-to-life, or as close as i can come when trying to imagine being an old lady on a train. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Cool]" src="cool.gif" /> <img border="0" alt="[TwoCents]" title="" src="graemlins/2cents.gif" />

<small>[ 07-31-2003, 12:19 AM: Message edited by: ehli'schild ]</small>

[Gavin W. Smith]

Many thanks Mary O!
I still have some things to work out in this piece, I don't think i communicated the idea as best i could. But you get a good taste with what i've got down