A Friend..With A Story..
Posted: Sat May 22, 2004 10:16 am
Most of you probably know me, would never think this had happened to me, but, well, after reading one of the others posts of what you guys want this to maybe turn into, something where people can talk about abuse and stuff I figured I might as well.. I'll go ahead and say my story is in a way like The Ravyns, (Who i knew, but can only wish i would of talked to more) and in a way it's not.. and I'll go ahead and say, of course, all names have been changed.. We'll say mine is Kelly..
When I was younger, like, between just born and five, I was one of the happiest babies on the earth..but then again, all of them are, aren't they?
After five is a different story. When my grandfather, just call him Paw, and me were home alone for the day, having some normal paw and Kelly time, he raped me. I don't know what made him, or what made me never tell anyone, but i didn't. for about five years. I guess i had fooled myself into liking it.. i mean, i never really told him to stop, i can remember crying the first time, and have flashbacks of cowering in a corner, but i can't remember once when i told him to stop. I guess that might be my fault, he was my paw paw..best man in the world..the one who went and helped a dog when it was hurt.. Just didn't make sense, so i kept my mouth shut. Well, when i had just turned 10, he died. I was mad at him for that, and let it slip of what he'd been doing. No one believed me, of course. Well i guess i can't really say no one.. My dad took his place.. Him and mom have been fighting for ever, i think, and i can't really imaging why she stays with his lousy ass.. it took her two years to figure out what was going on, and i think that only thing that really tipped her off was that she walked in on me shaving my..private..and i wasn't supposed to be shaving yet, not till i was 14, but dad had other ideas. I've never left home, never told anyone in my life the whole story, never want to. I suppose i could, but i havn't had to deal with it for about two years now, so i've just let it died (Yes, i'm 14 now) i can't remember everything that's happened, i don't think i will ever really want to, but i do remember how the two people i looked up to most hurt me..
I don't know why i put this, i don't want anyones sympathy.. cause i could of stopped it.. *Sigh* i gues in the long run everyone needs to let this out sometimes.. There is also a last part to my story, that most probably won't understand.. i can't say i'm proud of it, but i've found something that majorly helps, the kidn of people they are isn't the best thing in the world, but i've never found a better group of people.. they help me know i can trust men again, thats for sure..and it helps to know someone cares, because i've decided my mom sure as hell didn't... well..thats all i guess.. still not to sure why the .... i put this...well bye all, stay safe..
When I was younger, like, between just born and five, I was one of the happiest babies on the earth..but then again, all of them are, aren't they?
After five is a different story. When my grandfather, just call him Paw, and me were home alone for the day, having some normal paw and Kelly time, he raped me. I don't know what made him, or what made me never tell anyone, but i didn't. for about five years. I guess i had fooled myself into liking it.. i mean, i never really told him to stop, i can remember crying the first time, and have flashbacks of cowering in a corner, but i can't remember once when i told him to stop. I guess that might be my fault, he was my paw paw..best man in the world..the one who went and helped a dog when it was hurt.. Just didn't make sense, so i kept my mouth shut. Well, when i had just turned 10, he died. I was mad at him for that, and let it slip of what he'd been doing. No one believed me, of course. Well i guess i can't really say no one.. My dad took his place.. Him and mom have been fighting for ever, i think, and i can't really imaging why she stays with his lousy ass.. it took her two years to figure out what was going on, and i think that only thing that really tipped her off was that she walked in on me shaving my..private..and i wasn't supposed to be shaving yet, not till i was 14, but dad had other ideas. I've never left home, never told anyone in my life the whole story, never want to. I suppose i could, but i havn't had to deal with it for about two years now, so i've just let it died (Yes, i'm 14 now) i can't remember everything that's happened, i don't think i will ever really want to, but i do remember how the two people i looked up to most hurt me..
I don't know why i put this, i don't want anyones sympathy.. cause i could of stopped it.. *Sigh* i gues in the long run everyone needs to let this out sometimes.. There is also a last part to my story, that most probably won't understand.. i can't say i'm proud of it, but i've found something that majorly helps, the kidn of people they are isn't the best thing in the world, but i've never found a better group of people.. they help me know i can trust men again, thats for sure..and it helps to know someone cares, because i've decided my mom sure as hell didn't... well..thats all i guess.. still not to sure why the .... i put this...well bye all, stay safe..