Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road?

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Leysa
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Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road?

Post by Leysa » Mon Jun 02, 2008 9:15 am

Why did the chicken cross the road?

BARACK OBAMA:
The chicken crossed the road because it was time for a CHANGE! The chicken wanted CHANGE!

JOHN MC CAIN:
My friends, that chicken crossed the road because he recognized the need to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the chickens on the other side of the road.

HILLARY CLINTON:
When I was First Lady, I personally helped that little chicken to cross the road. This experience makes me uniquely qualified to ensure -- right from Day One! -- that every chicken in this country gets the chance it deserves to cross the road. But then, this really isn't about me.......

DR. PHIL:
The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he must
first deal with the problem on 'THIS' side of the road before it goes
after the problem on the 'OTHER SIDE' of the road. What we need to do is
help him realize how stupid he's acting by not taking on his 'CURRENT'
problems before adding 'NEW' problems.

OPRAH:
Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he
wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn
from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to
give this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road and
not live his life like the rest of the chickens.

GEORGE W. BUSH:
We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to
know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is
either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here.

COLIN POWELL:
Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image
of the chicken crossing the road...

ANDERSON COOPER - CNN:
We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been
allowed to have access to the other side of the road.

JOHN KERRY:
Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it!
It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken's
intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it.

NANCY GRACE:
That chicken crossed the road because he's GUILTY! You can see it in his
eyes and the way he walks.

PAT BUCHANAN:
To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.

MARTHA STEWART:
No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a
standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the price
dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider
information.

DR SEUSS:
Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the
chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told.

ERNEST HEMINGWAY:
To die in the rain. Alone.

JERRY FALWELL:
Because the chicken was gay! Can't you people see the plain truth?'
That's why they call it the 'other side.' Yes, my friends, that chi cken
is gay. And if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too. I say we
boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the liberal
media white washes with seemingly harmless phrases like 'the other side.
That chicken should not be crossing the road. It's as plain and as
simple as that.

GRANDPA:
In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told
us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.

BARBARA WALTERS:
Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the
chicken tell, for the first time, the heart warming story of how it
experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its
life long dream of crossing the road.

ARISTOTLE:
It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

JOHN LENNON:
Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together, in peace.

BILL GATES:
I have just released eChicken2007, which will not only cross roads, but
will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your check
book. Internet Explorer is an integral part of the Chicken. This new
platform is much more stable and will never cra...#@&&^(C% .........
reboot.

ALBERT EINSTEIN:
Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the
chicken?

BILL CLINTON:
I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What is your definition of
chicken?

AL GORE:
I invented the chicken!

COLONEL SANDERS:
Did I miss one ?

DICK CHENEY:
Where's my gun?

AL SHARPTON:
Why are all the chickens white? We need some black chickens.

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bags123
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Re: Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road?

Post by bags123 » Mon Jun 02, 2008 12:00 pm

:thumbsup: :mrgreen: :mrgreen:
I prefer to keep an open mind,....but not so much that my brains fall out.- Carl Sagan
Your brain is like an umbrella. It only works when it's open- Someone Smart


Poet of the Month
March 2011

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JGarrison
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Re: Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road?

Post by JGarrison » Mon Jun 02, 2008 1:13 pm

:lol:
“What’s in store for me in the direction I don’t take?”

-Jack Kerouac-

Odd D
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Re: Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road?

Post by Odd D » Mon Jun 02, 2008 1:25 pm

Heh... Clever stuff.

Forgot to mention George Jr.'s new term "crossification" though.
"No one ultimately knows what they're saying anyway. Are we really making art? Art doesn't belong to us. It doesn't belong to people, it belongs to the universe. It comes FROM the universe. It comes THROUGH us. When I write something, I think I know what I'm saying, but I never pretend to know the full meaning of the words."
- Serj Tankian

Leysa
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Posts: 274
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Re: Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road?

Post by Leysa » Mon Jun 02, 2008 1:28 pm

Odd D wrote:Heh... Clever stuff.

Forgot to mention George Jr.'s new term "crossification" though.
tee hee!

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preston
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Re: Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road?

Post by preston » Mon Jun 02, 2008 3:40 pm

Which came first, the chicken or the road ?

:book:

Berlie
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Re: Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road?

Post by Berlie » Mon Jun 02, 2008 7:37 pm

My answer:

Because Kernel Sanders was chasing him.
--------------------------------------------------
Image
twisting the throttle
as I lean into the curve
bug SPLAT on my face
--------------------------------------------------
My Poetry Posts | My Poetry Vault | Self-Pub.net

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Milk White Chocolate
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Re: Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road?

Post by Milk White Chocolate » Tue Jun 03, 2008 7:58 am

:lol: :thumbsup:
Money don't make me so broke can't break me.
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JGarrison
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Re: Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road?

Post by JGarrison » Wed Jun 04, 2008 10:33 pm

well you know why colonel sanders started frying chicken dont you? his wife loved a :badword: a doodle doo... :twisted:
“What’s in store for me in the direction I don’t take?”

-Jack Kerouac-

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Moushka
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Re: Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road?

Post by Moushka » Wed Jul 16, 2008 6:58 pm

:lol: :lol: pretty hilarious......didn't recognize all the names but I'm sure they were funny :lol: :lol:
1.Believe 2.Belong 3.Become
1.Awareness 2.Acceptance 3.Action

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Duchess
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Re: Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road?

Post by Duchess » Fri Sep 26, 2008 7:49 pm

That was awesome chicK!

I found one that I loved!

"I wish to live in a world where a chicken can cross the road and not have his motives questioned damn it!" lol

:cheers: D
"Our minds create our realities based on our perceptions and how we view our world..." "In crazy mans world, everyone else is insane and he is the only sane one"
Both said by My Georgia Muse

I miss my baby...R.I.P Chyna
~*}i{*Duchess*}i{*~

I wish to live in a world where chickens can cross the road without their motives being questioned.

purplelionness
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Re: Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road?

Post by purplelionness » Fri Sep 03, 2010 11:15 am

Loved it, only problem was as I live in Uk wasnt sure of all names mentioned. :thumbsup: :shrug: :wink:

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Moushka
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Re: Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road?

Post by Moushka » Fri Sep 03, 2010 4:24 pm

Thank you Dr. Phil, I was about to read the whole thing and don't have much time to be on the computer today!
1.Believe 2.Belong 3.Become
1.Awareness 2.Acceptance 3.Action

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LOOPY!
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Re: Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road?

Post by LOOPY! » Thu Oct 28, 2010 2:29 am

Moushka wrote::lol: :lol: pretty hilarious......didn't recognize all the names but I'm sure they were funny :lol: :lol:
Can i quote myself? :no: :devil: :thumbsup: :mrgreen:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tekOE3k8Gds

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hUjhx2Hw ... ature=fvwp
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