My Son's Evolution and My Thoughts on Marriage Equality

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Leylow
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My Son's Evolution and My Thoughts on Marriage Equality

Post by Leylow » Thu Mar 28, 2013 6:40 am

I found the t-shirt in the dirty clothes. The tag read Hanes, but the black Sharpie rendering on the front featured the word “GAY” written inside a circle with a slash through it. I was mortified.

I asked my teenage son why he had made the shirt. He was mad, he said. The vice principal at his school had relentlessly picked on him throughout the school year and he was certain she was gay.

It had been an incredibly difficult year for him. His father and I had divorced. Mick was going through his goth stage complete with black clothes, chains and black fingernails. He looked scary most of the time. What the vice principal didn't understand was that underneath all that black clothing and angst was a real sweetheart of a kid. Mick was artistic, a keeper of seemingly unrelated facts, an expert at geography, and so tenderhearted and loving. He was amazing with the very young and the very old. Animals adored him.

And here was a blatant statement of hatred on a t-shirt that I couldn't ignore.

I reminded Mick that his sister’s ex-husband was black and that his nephews were of mixed heritage. I asked him if it would be okay for someone to hate them strictly due to the color of their skin. His response, “well, no, that’s just how they were born, Mom.”

Exactly, I told him, and sexual orientation is also a birth trait. “You can dislike the vice principal because she’s unfair, but I won’t stand for you disliking her because you think she might be gay.”

A few months later I got my son a temporary job where I work. He was to serve as a runner during a special event, working under my friend and co-worker, Brian.

Brian was the first to come to my aid when I discovered my ex-husband was cheating. He showed up with ice cream and a six pack of beer that first night. Later in the week, Brian took me to a local amusement park to ride The Gauntlet – a roller coaster from Hell. It was amazing. I screamed and cried and nearly wet myself. It was stress relief on a track!

Brian is funny, charming, handsome, and gay. Mick loved working for him. When I asked Mick later about his thoughts on how he should treat gays he looked at me like I had swallowed a toad. “Mom, it would be wrong to treat them as if they were different from me. Why are you asking a stupid question?”

I smiled. I never saw that t-shirt again. It must have been tossed out with the garbage after his enlightenment.

Gay marriage rights is a heart issue. It’s really difficult to affect change through the government when issues are heart issues. You can force the law, but the law doesn't change how people really feel. That seems to be done better one person at a time, through life experience. Of course, that’s a very slow process, and a lot of people get hurt as we sludge through the mire of changing hearts. But it’s the only thing that really works. We have to see these issues as people, not issues.

Yes, I’m for marriage equality. It makes no difference to me if John and George marry or if Sue and Linda marry. Marriage is incredibly difficult and I salute anyone willing to tackle the challenge of making a family. If I were gay I would be fighting hard for the rights that straight couples enjoy without a struggle, believing they are mine based on the constitution and human decency.

If the courts pave the way for marriage equality will people suddenly change and homophobia end? Nope. But we have to start somewhere. We need to remember what Jesus taught – to treat each other as we want to be treated, to love each other. And just leave the rest to God.

That’s my plan. And, thank God, Mick’s too.
-- Leysa --

[indent]"Poetry and Hums aren't things which you get, they're things which get you. And all you can do is go where they can find you." -- Pooh's Little Instruction Book, inspired by A. A. Milne[/indent]

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thief of dreams
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Re: My Son's Evolution and My Thoughts on Marriage Equality

Post by thief of dreams » Thu Mar 28, 2013 9:40 am

:cheers:
The struggle is the first step, the victory the second, and then the acclimation is the final one where it becomes common place and accepted.
"Thoughts are the shadows of our feelings - always darker, emptier and simpler."
Friedrich Nietzsche

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Eternum 1
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Re: My Son's Evolution and My Thoughts on Marriage Equality

Post by Eternum 1 » Thu Mar 28, 2013 2:29 pm

How could any being created from first cause be worth more or less than another? At this level, all beings really are made equal and it is cultural folly to magnify the import of minute difference as if the full diversity of lifes possiblities wasn't the whole reason for existence to begin with.

First cause is everything, everywhere, not just me or people like me.
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MJPease
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Re: My Son's Evolution and My Thoughts on Marriage Equality

Post by MJPease » Thu Mar 28, 2013 4:04 pm

Hello Leylow, I have never had a homophobic thought process either for or against. I was born a red headed step child :mrgreen: so I guess It must have been easy for me to accept everyone as just being a decent person. Take Care
Take me back, so far back, adjust this fate. Afeared lately of pen, in abscence of light. The fear I might stumble upon a plagiarized soul. Wipe this dark slate clean, regain my thought. Add the words that rekindle my depth of soul.

From: Summers Discontent 7-24-02

Sincerely

Michael J Pease

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Leylow
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Re: My Son's Evolution and My Thoughts on Marriage Equality

Post by Leylow » Fri Mar 29, 2013 7:49 am

That explains me, too, I guess. Born redheaded to a family with half sisters and a half brother. Not officially a stepchild myself, but absolutely the only redhead. Did I ever face persecution!!! That must be why I can't stand for others to be judged (as Eternum put it more eloquently) over things that are simply part of being born on this planet, at this time.
-- Leysa --

[indent]"Poetry and Hums aren't things which you get, they're things which get you. And all you can do is go where they can find you." -- Pooh's Little Instruction Book, inspired by A. A. Milne[/indent]

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bags123
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Re: My Son's Evolution and My Thoughts on Marriage Equality

Post by bags123 » Fri Mar 29, 2013 9:56 am

I don't have any issues with Gays. They're good for real estate values. :cool:
I prefer to keep an open mind,....but not so much that my brains fall out.- Carl Sagan
Your brain is like an umbrella. It only works when it's open- Someone Smart


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