the denim emotive - (modern me)

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pencil pusher
Clearwater Poet
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Joined: Tue Jan 18, 2011 3:09 pm
Location: UK

the denim emotive - (modern me)

Post by pencil pusher » Tue Jan 18, 2011 3:44 pm

the denim emotive

the aroma of patchouli
mingles with a waft
of marijuana enhancing
but not disguising
the overpowering
proximity of perspiring
people clad in denim
and leather

an electric ambiance
of anticipation
whips the crowd
into a premature
frenzy but there is
no submission
only impatience

the cacophony is
deafening as
we urge
we implore
we demand
our heroes to appear
with whistles and cheers
and chants of their name

and finally
there is darkness
the mood changes
to one of urgency
the crescendo toward
the long awaited orgasm
of aural satisfaction
begins with the throaty
deep throttle of a harley
on heat

dazzling and furious
the stage erupts
in a glorious explosion
of white light and heat
as a soundwave tsunami
is expelled from the house-high
stack of amplifiers
when the first chord
is struck

the crowd surges
in excitement as the
play list begins
and a few rows ahead
a girl sitting astride
the shoulders of her friend
exposes her magnificent
tits as a heartfelt
thank you to the band

deafened voiceless and spent
with our orgasm achieved
the end of the gig
always left me wanting more

with the passing of time
i shall always have these
memories of my love affair
with live music
all I can do now though
is pull on my jeans
and crank up the stereo
all that’s missing
is the breasts
Come and visit once in a while: http://wordsasunder.wordpress.com


Take everything you like seriously, except yourselves.
Rudyard Kipling

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bags123
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Re: the denim emotive - (modern me)

Post by bags123 » Wed Jan 19, 2011 7:02 am

I used to be an avid concert goer, right through the mid 70's. The last concert I saw before kids, and work etc took priority, was Led Zepplin in Dallas in 1975.
I remember my ears rang for 2 days afterwards. What?.... Over the last 10-15 years or so,...I've rekindled my love of music in general. I prefer the smaller venues now,..of which we are fortunate to have many good ones in our area. Anyway,...I thought this captured perfectly the exictment leading up to a show. :cheers:
I prefer to keep an open mind,....but not so much that my brains fall out.- Carl Sagan
Your brain is like an umbrella. It only works when it's open- Someone Smart


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March 2011

totsakanth
Clearwater Poet
Posts: 32
Joined: Wed Dec 29, 2010 11:00 pm
Location: Oz

Re: the denim emotive - (modern me)

Post by totsakanth » Thu Jan 20, 2011 3:52 pm

Interesting imagery. Very well done!

smiffy
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Posts: 48
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Location: GB

Re: the denim emotive - (modern me)

Post by smiffy » Thu Jan 20, 2011 11:36 pm

Though the gigs I went to were of a more sedate nature in the 70's and eighties the feeling of anticipation you describe so well was much the same, sadly no bearing of tits in appreciation, great write much enjoyed, thanks for the memories

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pencil pusher
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Location: UK

Re: the denim emotive - (modern me)

Post by pencil pusher » Fri Jan 21, 2011 10:52 am

Thanks for the comments..glad it was well recieved. This is my modern version of the poem. The original was a rhymer as was my way back then..it went thus:

As I listen in pain,
To a sorry refrain,
Of the shit they call music today.
I cover my ears
And roll back the years,
To recall how they used to play.

The gigs were loud,
And the fans were proud,
To wear their denim so blue,
Our heads would rock,
Together, en block,
As the music started on cue.

The flares would explode,
And the lights would implode,
Then the growl of an awesome, mighty bike.
The crowd give a cheer,
As from the fog they appear,
Blue jeaned heroes, playing what they like.

We would headbang the beat,
As we stamped our feet,
When the Quo started “Rain”,
We shouted for more,
And gave a great roar,
As then they played “Again and Again.”

Rick Parfitt gave a V-sign,
As “Down, Down” followed “Caroline,”
Then the music reached fever pitch.
The band played loud,
As a girl to the crowd,
Would show her magnificent tits.

Those sounds of bliss,
Are ones that I miss,
Now that time has marched ever on.
But I’ll tell your for sure,
Behind my mind’s door,
That those days of blue denim, will never be gone.


Inspired more specifically by the mighty Quo, but a whole mish mash of other un-named concert experiences. The original was written about 10 years ago but modern me wrote the newer one about 10 days ago. I prefer the new one and would be interested to hear which one is preferred by you guys. (You don't have to like it per se... just which style is preferred :lol: )

And hey..bags123...I am jolly envious.. never did get to see Zep. That is one of the very few things that I will ever regret.
All I can say to smiffy is NerNeNerNeNaNa! :lol:

Thanks again
Come and visit once in a while: http://wordsasunder.wordpress.com


Take everything you like seriously, except yourselves.
Rudyard Kipling

smiffy
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Posts: 48
Joined: Thu Jan 20, 2011 12:22 pm
Location: GB

Re: the denim emotive - (modern me)

Post by smiffy » Sat Jan 22, 2011 7:54 am

As a lover of rhyme when well done I prefer the new version not that there is anything wrong with the original but the new shows the development of language and ideas, would be interesting to see how you would do a rhyme version now though, looking back at my own old poems there are few that I am proud of especially where rhyme is concerned, too many obvious rhymes
enjoyed both and interesting to see how you have matured as a poet, think I might like it here

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thief of dreams
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Re: the denim emotive - (modern me)

Post by thief of dreams » Sat Jan 29, 2011 1:39 am

Both have their positive points. I really like the longer lines of the first write and had a hard time keeping up with the modern one as it cascaded down the screen. Almost washed away the thoughts of what I was reading.

:thumbsup:
"Thoughts are the shadows of our feelings - always darker, emptier and simpler."
Friedrich Nietzsche

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bags123
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Re: the denim emotive - (modern me)

Post by bags123 » Sat Jan 29, 2011 8:02 am

I much prefer the second version you posted. The one that rhymed. Just like old times. :thumbsup:
I prefer to keep an open mind,....but not so much that my brains fall out.- Carl Sagan
Your brain is like an umbrella. It only works when it's open- Someone Smart


Poet of the Month
March 2011

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