Ravyn's Writings - 2001

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LJAmara
Clearwater Poet
Posts: 97
Joined: Fri Mar 26, 2004 8:43 pm
Tag line: Muddling through
Location: Colorado

Ravyn's Writings - 2001

Post by LJAmara » Wed Aug 01, 2012 1:15 am

A Friendship, Returned

You may never know how hard it was
to give you that one small link
and now that you know
most of the tale, but never all
you stand before me and declare
the friendship we have will not die
the friend from yesterday
will be the friend of tomorrow
and today ... we sit smiling
across the endless miles
sipping coffee and tea and sharing
that small warm feeling
a friendship, returned


A Healing Salve

Time is a great healer
So I have been told
Over and over again
It has been more than three years now
Since the nightmare ended
I am just now beginning to believe
That there is hope of healing
But it never would have happened
Without the support of a few faithful friends
So perhaps time is a great healer
But friendship and love
Make up the salve which should be applied
Generously and often
To those deep and scarring wounds


Demon Chylde

why?
what possible satisfaction
can you derive from it?
does it make you feel
superior?
does it make you
a better person
in the eyes of your god?
i am quite aware of my faults
thank you very much
i have no illusions
as to my own shortcomings
yet you feel compelled
to point them out
continuously
now, because i refuse
to believe as you do
and because i choose
to live as i do
and love as i will
i am, in your eyes
infested with demons
an unrepentant heathen
destined for a hell
in which i have no belief
i can't explain
my point of view
you refuse to listen
or perhaps
you can't hear me
over the sound
of your own voice
chanting your litany
of woe and torment
should it matter to me
what you think?
no, i suppose it should not
our last conversation
will remain our last
and i will continue on
living the life
of a demon chylde


Don't Come Knocking

I hear you out there
I feel you close again
I hate you, you know that
there was a time I would have embraced you
when I actively sought you out
but not now, you have no business here
this is my life and you can't take it
so put your scythe back over your shoulder
wrap your cloak about your skeleton body
pull that hood back over your skull face
and turn back the way you came
don't come knocking on my door
it is closed to you


Emptiness

once there were words
scribbled down in haste
or at leisure
the spillings of my soul
nothing more than bile
all gone now
emptiness is all that's left
hollow boxes filled with
dead air
where once my heart lay
not even blood remains
scrubbed clean
soon these words will follow
fading out into the unknown
the unread
chiselled from the stone
there is nothing left but
emptiness


For The Lost And Lonely

Shed a tear for the lost and lonely
the relics and outcasts of society
wandering through life shunned and despised
ridiculed and tormented by their peers
wasted years spent crawling through the dust
dependant upon the goodness of others for survival

Say a prayer for the weak and weary
toiling just to stay alive on the bleak and grimy streets
never asking for much, never feeling the touch
of human kindness from the crowds
scorned as lazy worthless nobodies
but nobody cares to learn the pain which they endure

You have seen them lying there, stopped to stare
how could a person stoop so low as to live this way?
I can hear you now saying it would never happen to you
but how can we know where circumstance will lead us?
Take care of your own, but always remember it could be you
So shed a tear for the lost and lonely


Fourteen Years
(Like Yesterday)

This day is here again
I don't know if I'll make it through
with all the memories and sadness
threatening to swallow me up
until I lose myself in the past
dreams unrealized, wishes unfulfilled
and yet when I think of you
I know that the most important dream
has already become your reality
I hope, as you look down upon my life
that you aren't too disappointed
in the things I've done
and the choices I've made
after all, it was you who taught me
to always follow my heart
to always try to be better than I think I am
to never forget where I come from
and to help those less fortunate than I
I'm trying, daddy, I really am
after all this time
I think I'm finally going to make it
But every now and then I need you
to reach down and take my hand
and guide me on my journey
make me feel safe again
the way you used to
Fourteen years is a long time
but the pain is still as fresh today
as it was then
I love you and I miss you so much
Wait for me, I'll be there when I can


January 3rd
(A Day Like Most Others)

It was a day like most others.
He got up and ready for work
just like always
ate a quick breakfast and
drank a cup of coffee
kissed his wife good-bye
and drove away.
It was a day like most others.
She saw him to the door
wishing him a good day
and preparing for the children
who would soon be coming over.
It was a day like most others.
Sirens wailing on the highway
traffic reports on the radio
as I drive my daughter to her house:
a roll over on 225
has traffic backed up past Orchard Road
One man has died in the crash
name withheld until
notification of family.
It was a day like most others.
Except for the call from his boss
asking if something was wrong
for him to be so late.
Something nags at the back of her mind
because he hasn't been late
in years, maybe as much as a decade.
It was a day like most others.
Until the representative of the DPD
showed up at her door with the news.
He makes the phone calls to the parents
of the children she cares for.
It was a day like most others.
For most people it was just another day
but for a few of us it was wrought with sorrow
grief, tears and heartache.
She buried him today, a week after
a day like most others.


Lips Touching Lips

lie down beside me
gentle love
and let me taste again
the bliss you bring
to wet my parched
and cracking lips
sweet nectar
drink me, love
my life is yours
be gentle, kind
lips touching lips
together never again
shall we thirst


Meaning?

a wreath to hang upon the door
mistletoe and holly
taken from the druids
lights and candles
from the romans
and the festival of saturnalia
and the tree
but there are so many origins
of the tree it is pointless
to go into them here
ancient egyptian, germanic
celtic and druidic rituals
of the solstice
yet even the day was 'borrowed'
and the legend of mithras
lives on in the life
of the christ child
but in all the confusion
a meaning was born
a sharing of love and life
celebration of new birth
where is that feeling now?
bloated by greed and misuse
devoured by half price sales
people fighting
over the last one on the shelf
greedy and hateful
a disgusting display
of our own inhumanity
where is the meaning now?
you won’t find it
in department stores
or online shopping sites
it isn’t in churches or schools
it is gone from most homes
but it still exists
in the dark corners and alleys
hidden from the casual glance
those who know the meaning
are there in the shadows


One Thing

It's a hard thing to do
probably the hardest thing in the world
it will make you feel like giving up
or it will make you want to continue forever
sometimes it hurts like hell
other times it feels so good
you never want it to end
it will make you cry
and it will make you laugh
and it will make you sit and smile
it can be the worst thing that ever happened to you
and it is the greatest gift we can ever receive
it is the one thing no one can live without
no matter how much pain and misery it causes
it is the one thing we should never give up on
No matter how tired we become of it
we should hang on to it as long as we can
it is a simple thing
it is the most complex thing
this thing, this one thing
called life


Over And Around

She said to beware of something
Over and around ....
I still don't know what it means
but it has been weighing on my mind
Even while surrounded by my newly adopted family
echoes of those words creep into my soul
sending shivers down my spine and
making my flesh rise in goose bumps
I know she has seen me pause in the midst
of some game or conversation
and stare blankly across the room
at nothing
Her mother has asked three times
if there is something wrong
How can there be when everything has
gone so right
But still .... over and around
something .... I can't place ....
I can't see ....
Does it have anything to do with the dreams?
It doesn't make sense, but
I suppose it is possible
Why would I be having death dreams
when I am just now starting to enjoy life?
I should shake this off
We are going to have a child
we are looking into buying a house
We are going to be a family .... forever
But something keeps telling me
((Over and around))


Renewing The Vow

it's still there
the one thing
that i haven't been able to purge
i saw it in my eyes last night
felt the slimy slick sickness of it
contaminating my being
will it ever come out
to be purged as the rest?
i have vowed that it will not
and for more than eight years
i have been true to my word
yet i wonder
how much relief would there be
in letting it go
and the consequences
she would hate me i am sure
and there would be
legal repurcussions
there is no statute of limitations
no, this thing will remain
behind my eyes
between me and my maker
forever


Stroking Egos

is it for acceptance
or personal glory?
numbers serve only
as ego strokers
swollen beyond recognition
claiming spotlights'
cold glow of indifference
in a quest for
validation of others
strike me off your lists
for i need them not
ostracise me for my own sake
i search for no one's approval
to be is to write
and to write is validation
in itself
so take your accolades
and give them to someone
who needs their ego stroked
my own was buried
years ago
along with my dignity
and self respect
never to be exhumed


The Corner

Sitting, gazing raptly
into a future never imagined
leaving behind the fear and mistrust
enfolded into your soft embrace
I think about the past
how close it always seemed to be
but it grows distant in memory
fading ... fading ... away
It's like turning a corner
I stood for so long at the nadir
afraid to look ahead
trapped into looking back
Finally making that fateful step
and the future is closer
than the past


Today, Tomorrow, Forever
(9/11/01)

I remember seeing them
as a child, on television, in movies
standing so tall and strong
facing the harbor, dominating the sky
symbols of our prosperity
such a marvel that we could create
things that seem to defy gravity
even more amazing is the thought
that hate alone should topple them
showering rubble upon thousands of
innocents, men, women, children
snuffing out their lives
merely because they happened to be there
are we a people of hate?
do we now seek to kill, to destroy?
are we now so blinded by our emotions,
our outrage, that we are willing
to sacrifice our world
in the name of revenge?
the events of today are horrible
unthinkable
and yet they are reality
now we must display our true nature
what we truly believe to be the right thing
will that be more death? more destruction?
or will we instead make an attempt
at healing the breach, soothing the hate
try to understand one another
despite our differences....
anger is a very strong thing
but love is so much stronger
and it can support us all
if we stand together
today, tomorrow, forever


Where Were You When I Was Falling?

where were you
when i was falling
and my outstretched hand
came in contact
with nothing?

i saw you as i fell
out for a day of shopping
and my outstretched hand
came away as empty
as my stomach

i remember as i climbed
how you would sit back
looking at my outstretched hand
with your sly little grin
creasing wrinkles beside your eyes

now that i have found my way
back into society's good graces
you stand with outstretched hand
expecting me to accept it
with gratitude and rejoicing

but instead i stand
without emotion looking askance
at your outstretched hand
wondering 'where were you
when i was falling?'


Words

Pen in hand I sit
Staring blankly at the page
Where once words seemed to form themselves
Entwining in the dance of emotions
Now they are sluggish to come
They fall grudgingly upon the paper
and lie there staring at me
With a baleful eye
Almost accusingly
'Why did you put me here
to waste away in front of the whole world?'
I don't know anymore
It is just a need
Perhaps someday those words will come willingly
But until that day, I will leave them in peace
And not force them
To lie there mutely
Forgotten

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