findings online

A permanent archive dedicated to the memory of Jennifer Sloan. Read The Ravyn's story in poetry and prose. Post your own story or seek help in The Ravyn's Wings forum.

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heinzs
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findings online

Post by heinzs » Tue Jul 24, 2012 6:52 pm

Not sure these are posted here but they are currently still on Angelfire archives

All My Yesterdays


If I told you of all my yesterdays
The burning haze, unhappiness and sorrow
The darkness that surrounds my soul
Two halves, not whole, broken, beaten, bloodied
If I told you of the nightmare road
The weighty load of anguish and torment
The crimes I've done, the crimes I've seen
While in between the car and the fence
All innocence scraped away for good and ever
Lost forever in the twilight realm of Nod
Where is God who answers the prayers of the meek
Still I seek to know why He has turned His eye
from me, a lie the believers repeat over and again
But I just can't win, I'm sucking wind
So tell me friend, the answer to my plea
If I told you of all my yesterdays
Would you be my friend tomorrow
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An' it harm none, do what ye will. Blessed Be.
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heinzs
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Re: findings online

Post by heinzs » Tue Jul 24, 2012 6:55 pm

Cloak Of Darkness


Wrapped in a cloak of darkness
he comes to me
late at night as I sleep
Enfolds me in his bitter embrace
and sends my mind out
on a journey to far off places
searching for the goodness and hope
the joys of yesterday
for today there is no hope, no joy
and goodness has become a myth,
a fairy tale, a childrens story
another lie in the web of lies
woven around my soul
and leaving me here,
broken, bitter, without solace.
I cry when he leaves me,
not for the sake of the parting with him
but for the sake of the parting
from my childhood, my innocence,
all stolen away so soon
never again to return
**************************************
An' it harm none, do what ye will. Blessed Be.
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heinzs
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Re: findings online

Post by heinzs » Tue Jul 24, 2012 6:56 pm

Verga

standing at the edge of forever
gazing out at the blankness below
wondering how far and how long
it takes to go home again
but in taking that last step
i never realized that it would last
so very long
in weightlessness, paralyzed
silent screams tearing my throat
the blindness of foolishness
steals my sight with wide open eyes
staring down to the nothingness
that awaits at the end of the fall
in twelve years time
i have yet to hit the ground
**************************************
An' it harm none, do what ye will. Blessed Be.
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heinzs
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Re: findings online

Post by heinzs » Tue Jul 24, 2012 6:56 pm

Outcast


shadows

cars speeding by
fleeting flashes of light
hungry eyes flitting
groping through muck
to live another day
in the shadows

harsh laughter
lashing out like a whip
weals reddening
upon a scarred soul
drive me back
to the shadows

strangers
all look the same
passing under
stuttering streetlamps
moving quickly and
leaving shadows

windows
show silent movies
of fairytale lives
prince and princess
oblivious to the outcast
fading away into shadows

dirt grimed hands
ragged clothes
i walk among them but
do they see me?
or do i only exist
in shadows
**************************************
An' it harm none, do what ye will. Blessed Be.
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heinzs
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Re: findings online

Post by heinzs » Tue Jul 24, 2012 6:57 pm

Do You Ever?


Do you ever think of me?
Do you remember the good times
the laughing and playing
Do you remember sitting together
watching some old movie
or just talking as a family?
Do you remember the way dad used to
throw us up in the air and catch us?
Do you remember crying with me
when I came home from the hospital?
Do you remember how much I cried at night
when I thought everyone was asleep
and you would come in and comfort me?
Do you remember what I told you
about your new husband?
About what he did to me?
Do you remember what you said to me?
That I was just angry that he isn't dad
Do you remember all the fights I got into
at school? The suspensions and the bad grades?
Do you ever think about me at all mom?
Do you ever?
**************************************
An' it harm none, do what ye will. Blessed Be.
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heinzs
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Re: findings online

Post by heinzs » Tue Jul 24, 2012 6:57 pm

The Cycle


Life begins
as the world crashes all around you
you grow
as the people smite you and set you afire
you learn
as the child looks up to you for guidance
you love
as the pieces all come together like a jigsaw
you live
as the sun sets beyond the mountains in winter
you die
**************************************
An' it harm none, do what ye will. Blessed Be.
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heinzs
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Re: findings online

Post by heinzs » Tue Jul 24, 2012 6:58 pm

Thirty Seconds Of Bliss


It's one in the morning
sleep is eluding me once again
Staring at the shadow entrenched ceiling
warding off the demons with my number 2
It doesn't make much sense anymore
as if it ever did
I read and see and hear about it
every day, everywhere
love tru, love lost, love spurned
and I guess I only have one question
that keeps floating through my mind
while everyone else is bemoaning
the loss of love
or the unrequited love
the cheating lover
the loving cheater
and I ask myself ..
when will it be my turn?
or will I just continue on
never knowing how it feels
to love and be loved
even for a day, an hour
a fleeting glimpse through a drawn shade
thirty seconds of bliss
**************************************
An' it harm none, do what ye will. Blessed Be.
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LadySaturn
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Re: findings online

Post by LadySaturn » Sat Jul 28, 2012 6:12 pm

:hello: Wow. Thanks for finding these Pops. :bow:

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heinzs
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Re: findings online

Post by heinzs » Sat Jul 28, 2012 10:08 pm

There's a whole mess more. Unfortunately they're not dated. Some may already be in the "riding the cyclone".
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An' it harm none, do what ye will. Blessed Be.
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LadySaturn
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Re: findings online

Post by LadySaturn » Mon Jul 30, 2012 1:47 pm

That's okay Pops, it's still always nice to read her works and to keep them in the spotlight so to speak. :hello:

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LJAmara
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Re: findings online

Post by LJAmara » Tue Jul 31, 2012 1:03 am

If dates would be helpful I can go through her journals and get at least approximate dates for things she posted on here.

I've also been toying with the idea of posting some excerpts from her journals, but I'm uncertain, considering some of the topics she covered in them and certain recurring themes, as to whether that would be proper. On the one hand, if she had wanted them shared she would have shared them. On the other, they are well worth reading for those who wish to really know her.

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heinzs
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Re: findings online

Post by heinzs » Tue Jul 31, 2012 6:08 pm

Thanks Lisa. Anything would be appropriate in her forum. The postings above are from links I have to her archive on Angelfire. I have no idea how long they may remain there, so I've started creating a backup archive here. At some point I should get it all on a CD for even more secure storage.
**************************************
An' it harm none, do what ye will. Blessed Be.
Image
***************************************
My Poet's Page Archive | Topics I've started

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