Yesterday

A permanent archive dedicated to the memory of Jennifer Sloan. Read The Ravyn's story in poetry and prose. Post your own story or seek help in The Ravyn's Wings forum.

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redrobin
Clearwater Poet
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Post by redrobin » Thu May 20, 2004 7:40 pm

:crying: Although I did not know her very well it breaks my heart. We truly lost a very wonderful and very talented poet. My heart goes out to her family. Ravyn may be gone in body but her spirit shall forever live on. Especially through her poems
~*redrobin*~

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What lies behind us, and
what lies before us are tiny
matters, compared to what
lies within us.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson-

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His Barbie Doll
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Post by His Barbie Doll » Thu May 20, 2004 8:35 pm

Fly as high as your beautiful wings will carry you dear Ravyn... Although I didn't get to know her as well I wish I had hoped I could've... I still loved her very much from what I did know of her... From the little that I knew I could tell she was a wonderful, sweet, compassionate person, despite the rotten hand she'd been dealt through most of her life...

My "adopted" son Larry's biological dad died the day before Ravyn did, and the little paper from his funeral has a very nice poem in it, and so I'm going to put it in here because I feel that it fits...
Miss Me - But Let Me Go

When I come to the end of the road
And the sun has set for me
I want no rites in a gloom filled room
Why cry for a soul set free

Miss me a little - But not too long
And not with head bowed low,
Remember the love that once was shared
Miss me - But let me go

For this is a journey we all must take
And each must go alone.
It is all a part of the Master's Plan,
A step on the road to home

When you are lonely, and sick of heart
Go to friends we know,
And bury your sorrows in doing good deeds,
Miss me - But let me go.

~Author Unknown
From the little that I knew of Jenn, I think this fits her well... At least in my opinion...

Much love to you and the girls Lisa!!! Take care... always...

Bye bye,
Me... Aja B...
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"Don't doubt yourself... Others will do that for you..."
"There's a reason for everything, and everything has a reason..."
}|#*~*|Me|*~*#|{

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*Bow to the Princess, and she shall bow to you!*

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Drew Rush
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Post by Drew Rush » Thu May 20, 2004 9:16 pm

strange the way things are...

i remember my only real conversation with her a few weeks ago, talking about how she should post a newer pic and she claimed she looked like a bald rat...or something to that effect...i replied that she must be the cutest little bald rat there ever was...

i feel i've missed so much, she seemed so nice and modest...and touched so many with her 'scribbles' as she put it... i knew her hardly at all but i find myself fighting back the tears.
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The truth is always clouded by opinionated facts.

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jeannerené
Winter's Rose
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Post by jeannerené » Thu May 20, 2004 9:31 pm

Drew said:
i feel i've missed so much, she seemed so nice and modest...and touched so many with her 'scribbles' as she put it... i knew her hardly at all but i find myself fighting back the tears.
I think Drew that you have expressed what we feel. . . At least for me...
at the end of our little conversation I remember saying that I needed to write about what I was feeling and she said the same....and we both did...I am thankful I had that moment, but as you said "i feel i've missed so much"...
... and his words purge up and outward,
expelled and onward through desert dust swallowed,
sands he says that gorge on simple sensibilities.
And, now he spits fragments, grit, extended vowels and elongated syllables
over cracked lips. Their sounds fall
piling round his boots…
~ jeannerené

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~breathe~


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Berlie
Behind the Curtain
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Post by Berlie » Thu May 20, 2004 9:34 pm

Ravyn, you are already sorely missed. You are a piece of the heart and soul of the Pages and you have probably touched peoples lives more than you ever realized.

I will look for you in my dreams...
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LJAmara
Clearwater Poet
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Post by LJAmara » Fri May 21, 2004 11:12 pm

It's late and I find myself sleepless tonight. Sleepless and restless. Mom and dad are asleep in the basement, the girls asleep in their room. Annie on the sofa. I found myself standing at the door to this room. I could see Jenn sitting in her usual crouch in front of the computer screen typing away. I could even hear the keystrokes. I walked across the room to touch her shoulder. To tell her it was time to go to bed. The dream fell apart and there was nothing but a cold blank monitor and an empty chair. I sat down and wept for a long while.

I've been thinking a lot about these past 4 years. Wondering to myself how it ever slipped away like it did. Was there anything we could have done diferently. I'm chasing my tail with this, going round in circles and moving nowhere. Time. It all comes down to time. Time heals all wounds. It seems to me that time has stopped. The world outside moves on. Time is still there. Still running smoothly as clockwork. Here, within these walls, time is at a standstill.

I could sit here and type all night. Maybe that's the way she felt. There were times when she did sit here, in this chair, in front of this monitor, and typed on this keyboard for hours on end. I used to get mad at her about that, but I soon realized that this was her world. Her only friends were inside this little box with the humming fans.

God I miss her. I miss waking up in the middle of the night and finding her in the back yard, dancing naked under the full moon to music only she could hear. I miss trying to teach her to cook something other than Mac n Cheese or Rice a Roni. I miss her touch, her smiles, her tears, her laughter. The countless hours spent sitting on the floor in front of the locked bathroom door, she on the other side. Speaking quietly in soothing tones through the smell of cigarettes and burnt skin until she felt safe enough again to unlock the door.

I don't know what to do right now. I feel adrift. Unhinged.

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thief of dreams
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Post by thief of dreams » Fri May 21, 2004 11:31 pm

time does heal all wounds, yet the scars remain forever.. and thats not a bad thing.. they can be a reminder of who we are, where we have come from and how lucky we are to have grown from our experiences... Jenn would be a bit uneasy with everyone moping around about her leaving but she would also understand it for a short time.. but only a short time... i can just see her, in one of her childlike joyful moods, scrunching her face and then smiling as she typed out some quirky little 'scribble' to brighten our days and nights... to get us off our depressed butts and smiling again... it was a rare thing to see but oh so beautiful to witness... i do believe our spirits live on forever and that they can choose to be where they want... a breath is energy, and when that breath is stopped the energy explodes and multiplies, touches everything and goes where it wishes... Jenn is still here, in some form. and on nights like these Lisa when sleep doesnt come, and you just want to hold her again. just reach out.. she's there... smiling through tears and wishing she could explain that it is ok to cry and that it is ok to be sad, but even better to be happy... i imagine she is at a place in 'life' where there is no physical pain, and i think she wants so bad to be able to tell you this and to be able to show you...
shes also probably pretty pissed off that she cant move the keys with her fingers.. hehe.. sorry Jenn, but we will all have to learn a new way to be touched by you.. just give us some time and im sure we will...
tears? yes. regret? never...
Lisa, i dont know you. but i do know that you are an angel, i do know that whether you see it or not, wether you understand it or not, you are one of a handful of amazing people this world will ever have had be a part of it... Jenn isnt gone, she is simply without pain...
"Thoughts are the shadows of our feelings - always darker, emptier and simpler."
Friedrich Nietzsche

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Tom Watson
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Post by Tom Watson » Sat May 22, 2004 11:20 am

Sheesh.....when I first read this I immediately wanted to respond....but then I couldn't.....it was like a door to a vacuum suddenly opened and the words were sucked out into it.....I have so much respect for Jenn...her courage in the face of such pain...and I am filled with joy to realize that she did find happiness in her life, however briefly, with you Lisa. I am proud to believe that the devil is gnashing its teeth in anger and frustration that he did not beat her...she was not defeated, but finished stronger than most any of us could ever hope to be.
God bless and protect you and the children, and give you happiness in your lives....

Tom
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buttterflies
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Post by buttterflies » Sat May 22, 2004 9:57 pm

i'm gone for a week and what sad news i come back to... :cry:....i barely knew Jenn...spoke to her just a handful of times....her stories left me feeling like my skin has been raked and salted upon....yet she had such courage and such a way of touching someone's heart, as i can tell from what all of you say...it's interesting how someone i've never met can affect me so much...and that even being i barely knew her...yet i couldn't stop the tears. i guess through her stories and her poetry i felt like i knew her more so than i really did....this makes me realize yet again how i should be grateful for all i have...and tell those who matter to me how much i do love them, even if they live across the country, or across the world....so thank you all, for being my friends, giving me hope and showing me love...and know that Jenn is smiling down upon you and your kind hearts.
"To be one, to be united is a great thing. But to respect the right to be different is maybe even greater." -Bono (U2)

"You have no choice of subject matter. You write what's in your heart and on your mind unless of course it's crap in which case it means you've thought about it too much." -Bono

* :mrgreen: *
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Blaze
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Post by Blaze » Sat Aug 07, 2004 4:51 pm

Wow. I can't say I knew The Ravyn personally, but this made me cry all the same...

Rest in peace, dear Ravyn... you'll fly past the moon.
"Being smart is a good thing... it's the dumbasses that make you think twice about it."
-John Swick

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Moongem
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Post by Moongem » Fri May 12, 2006 9:40 pm

The Ravyn. Jenn... This time of year, I find myself occupied with clouds, and seasons changing. It starts with a dread. I know Jenn's anniversary is coming, but, with my mind, I don't know exactly when, yet, I feel it building.

The pain I felt in my predawn three hours of reading her story for the first time three or four years ago does the same thing it did back then, it disables me. Completely.

It's called post-care reaction, in lay terms. Jenn 9-11ed me, to the extent I spent months dying on her behalf. She didn't want that, her soul was so gentle, so caring as to comfort me, when I thought I would explode with her, and all, injustices of the world. She taught me, or, tried to, to see activism foundered by awareness is better than savage guilt-tears. But, she didn't push me towards reaction, she knew I fought with words. She understood me.

There has been a soul-lacking amount of rain, this desert winter, only a few of the strongest of wild flowers bloomed. As always, I hated the clear blue skies, because, Jenn wasn't there, in the clouds, filling, or squeezing, my now.

Lisa, in rereading this string, I cannot help but see you as a Commander of Life, an observer, and wisdom reactor, to human natures, and a damn fine story teller, thank you. Your words of loving rememberance fill/filled me with wonder, appreciation and hope, since I knew Jenn's background. For Jenn to have your love, and to love you, fills me with opalecsing ambiguousness, slanted towards the better... I've always felt, opposite my true nature, I would have shriven, in sacrifice, the unknown normal life of my past to make Jenn happy. She deserved it. I don't mean to say I am the only one, only that she is one of the few people who brought out the 'I' of me.

I love the few mares' tails wisps we've had these spring days gathered in shrouds of blue softness/cross-ness, but, that is not where I see Jenn, I see her in patterns of turbulent enthusiasm, sweeping the world with wings' sorrowful subjectiveness, which I'll never know, yet, she slows, for a moment, overhead, to salve the idiocy of livng, and thinking.

The Arizona skies of winter have been too-blue, fairy blue, not real blue. It makes me think of stasis. Of too few futile attemps to disrupt complacency. I view these blue skies, and wish Jenn would swoop in, to shelter my thoughts, and she does, when she's able. She's busy, you know, flying free.

*s* to you, jenn,

moonie

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