Broken Promises (Pantoum)

Forum dedicated to form in poetry, classical and new, and a discussion of poetic forms and poets.
Forum rules
Forum dedicated to form in poetry, classical and new, and a discussion of poetic forms and poets.
This forum does not autoprune.
Post Reply
User avatar
midnight_kitty_kat
Clearwater Poet
Posts: 60
Joined: Thu Jul 17, 2003 12:01 am
Tag line: Scientia Potentia Est
Location: Nebraska

Broken Promises (Pantoum)

Post by midnight_kitty_kat » Thu Sep 05, 2013 1:30 pm

Torment me with broken promises.
Broken hearts and broken bones
thinly veiled fright, lonely and cold.
No one remembers how it was.

Broken hearts and broken bones?
Aching for darkness to call him home,
no one remembers what he was like.
Be careful, cold hearts die alone.

Aching for darkness to call him home,
enjoyable tragedy offering your lament.
Be careful, cold hearts die alone.
Afflicted souls sing a sorrowful psalm.

Enjoyable tragedy offer your sorrows,
thinly veiled truths, lonely and cold. 
Afflicted soul, sing a psalm and
torment me with broken promises.
Last edited by midnight_kitty_kat on Fri Sep 06, 2013 2:36 am, edited 1 time in total.
“I am thrilled to be alive at time when humanity is pushing against the limits of understanding. Even better, we may eventually discover that there are no limits.”
― Richard Dawkins

User avatar
heinzs
The Fat Cat
Posts: 8361
Joined: Tue Dec 18, 2001 12:01 am
Tag line: Do no harm
Location: Novato, CA
Contact:

Re: Broken Promises (Pantoum)

Post by heinzs » Thu Sep 05, 2013 3:54 pm

Beautifully dark, pensive, almost chilling. The format truly creates an atmosphere that it would not have otherwise.

:thumbsup: :thumbsup:
**************************************
An' it harm none, do what ye will. Blessed Be.
Image
***************************************
My Poet's Page Archive | Topics I've started

User avatar
midnight_kitty_kat
Clearwater Poet
Posts: 60
Joined: Thu Jul 17, 2003 12:01 am
Tag line: Scientia Potentia Est
Location: Nebraska

Re: Broken Promises (Pantoum)

Post by midnight_kitty_kat » Fri Sep 06, 2013 9:01 pm

Thank you :grin: I really enjoyed writing in this style. It's fun to reuse the phrases in different contexts.
“I am thrilled to be alive at time when humanity is pushing against the limits of understanding. Even better, we may eventually discover that there are no limits.”
― Richard Dawkins

User avatar
heinzs
The Fat Cat
Posts: 8361
Joined: Tue Dec 18, 2001 12:01 am
Tag line: Do no harm
Location: Novato, CA
Contact:

Re: Broken Promises (Pantoum)

Post by heinzs » Sat Sep 07, 2013 8:08 am

You might try a sestina, or a villanelle. They can be very powerful too. Here's my favorite villanelle by Dylan Thomas: viewtopic.php?f=37&t=32635&hilit=+do+not+go+gentle
**************************************
An' it harm none, do what ye will. Blessed Be.
Image
***************************************
My Poet's Page Archive | Topics I've started

User avatar
midnight_kitty_kat
Clearwater Poet
Posts: 60
Joined: Thu Jul 17, 2003 12:01 am
Tag line: Scientia Potentia Est
Location: Nebraska

Re: Broken Promises (Pantoum)

Post by midnight_kitty_kat » Sat Sep 07, 2013 8:56 am

I will check those out. I've fallen in love with form poetry I think :)
“I am thrilled to be alive at time when humanity is pushing against the limits of understanding. Even better, we may eventually discover that there are no limits.”
― Richard Dawkins

User avatar
midnight_kitty_kat
Clearwater Poet
Posts: 60
Joined: Thu Jul 17, 2003 12:01 am
Tag line: Scientia Potentia Est
Location: Nebraska

Re: Broken Promises (Pantoum)

Post by midnight_kitty_kat » Fri Aug 29, 2014 5:40 pm

I have been working on and off on a villanelle since September of last year. I've got four of the five tercets completed, it's an intriguing form!
“I am thrilled to be alive at time when humanity is pushing against the limits of understanding. Even better, we may eventually discover that there are no limits.”
― Richard Dawkins

Post Reply

Return to “Form in Poetry, Classical and New”

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 2 guests