Where Sorrow Cannot Find Me

Forum dedicated to form in poetry, classical and new, and a discussion of poetic forms and poets.
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Paresh
Clearwater Poet
Posts: 8
Joined: Tue Feb 05, 2008 7:12 pm
Location: Colorado

Where Sorrow Cannot Find Me

Post by Paresh » Wed Feb 06, 2008 5:40 pm

I'm longing to go far away
Where sorrow cannot find me
Where songbirds sing, breezes blow,
And darkness cannot blind me
Where past is gone and memories cannot
Haunt me in my dreams
Where day is long the sun is warm
And sparkles in the streams

My bag is packed no longer shall I
Be a prisoner pining
Through forest and beyond the moor
Away from this confining
To a cottage by the hedgerow
Window boxes blooming
Where sorrow is a stranger still
And never more consuming



I'm longing to go far away
Where breezes smell so sweetly
Where jasmine blossoms in the night
And fills the air completely
A new life awaits for me
Where the sun shines brightly
And the strings of lute and harp
Are playing oh so lightly
Paresh

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bags123
Insufferable Crouton
Posts: 4700
Joined: Sun Feb 10, 2002 12:01 am
Location: Upstate

Re: Where Sorrow Cannot Find Me

Post by bags123 » Fri Feb 08, 2008 3:43 am

Hi Paresh,.... and welcome to PP. This is lovely,.... gets alittle rough in a couple areas as far as the meter is concerned,...(something I'm sure you can repair quite easily when you have an extra 20 minutes, or so),.... but I loved the form and the sentiment your poem expresses. Well done. :cheers:
I prefer to keep an open mind,....but not so much that my brains fall out.- Carl Sagan
Your brain is like an umbrella. It only works when it's open- Someone Smart


Poet of the Month
March 2011

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Paresh
Clearwater Poet
Posts: 8
Joined: Tue Feb 05, 2008 7:12 pm
Location: Colorado

Re: Where Sorrow Cannot Find Me

Post by Paresh » Fri Feb 08, 2008 11:21 am

Thank you. Good insight! It's actually a song lyric...I'm just making the transition to poetry & didn't realize that meter in songs can be different in poetry.
Paresh

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bags123
Insufferable Crouton
Posts: 4700
Joined: Sun Feb 10, 2002 12:01 am
Location: Upstate

Re: Where Sorrow Cannot Find Me

Post by bags123 » Fri Feb 08, 2008 11:50 am

Paresh wrote:Thank you. Good insight! It's actually a song lyric...I'm just making the transition to poetry & didn't realize that meter in songs can be different in poetry.
Quite right. I've noticed that too. I think it must have something to do with lyrics also having the help of melody to carry us along smoothly. With only our imagination as a reader, when we read someone else's poetry, we're pretty much left to our own devices to interrpret it. That's why it's always interesting to actuatly hear a poet recite his own poems. What may appear kind of dull and lackluster on the page, can be given and extra oomph if read with the proper inflections as the poet intended.
I prefer to keep an open mind,....but not so much that my brains fall out.- Carl Sagan
Your brain is like an umbrella. It only works when it's open- Someone Smart


Poet of the Month
March 2011

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