so it's attention that you need
it's attention I despise
-except from the right people-
but if it's attention you want
it's attention I will gladly give
my soul I will gladly sell
my heart I will gladly hold out to you
in exchange for yours
however blackened
-or dirty-
or unwanted by anyone
everyone
else
Attention
- heinzs
- The Fat Cat
- Posts: 8419
- Joined: Tue Dec 18, 2001 12:01 am
- Tag line: Do no harm
- Location: Novato, CA
- Contact:
An' it harm none, do what ye will. Blessed Be.
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My Poet's Page Archive | Topics I've started
- TheMillionHope
- Clearwater Poet
- Posts: 45
- Joined: Sun Jul 04, 2004 12:51 am
- Location: Ca, USA
hi~
i would like to analyze your poem :P
you are a very protective person, i'm assuming u have a religious background (christ-like figure) however i sense u could be very little insecure (sorry if i sound offensive) all of this i extracted from reading your poetry
line 2-3
it's attention I despise
-except from the right people-
shows how judgmental you are when it comes to critiquing people who interact with "you" (line 1). although thats a sign of you being protective(and that you care for that certain person) and a sign that you could have received some negative attention from those who gave attention to you (the author) -- from the non-right people.
and evidently u're a nice person because of your perseverance in giving "attention" (line 5) although i read it abstractly; "attention" could lead more to "can i take care of you" or "let me help you proof-read your essay" (somewhat like that :) )
I find it striking though that you ask for an "exchange" of "attention[s]" (lines 7-8), which shows the more self-centered side of you. (it seems that my words that describe you, and your character, are too strong) self-centered, i mean, is that you would not want to care or give "attention" to someone who would not care for you or return the attention back.
Somehow I could be wrong on this other critique which I'm about to say. you side noted "-or dirty-" after the line "however blackened" 9-11
which could imply that you find her heart is "blackened" due to experience of knowing that person. you could be wrong in this judgmental thing, not unless you know this person by heart (person who you've grown up with), but if you don't know quite well, i suggest a different approach :P
i like your poetry because for one thing (i love poetry) and short poems, i love to extract every single word -- these kinds of poems show who that person is. anyway when u used the word "sell" and connect it with "gladly" and relating that to the word "exchange" it represents a duality where u're a bargainer and a person dedicated, hence "dedicated bargainer!" now i really think i'm judging too discretely :P
judging from your poem, you also have somewhat of a sarcastic side.
line 1 shows that
"so it's attention that you need"
somewhat playful to be precise yet in a somewhat serious tone at the end of your poem, the shorter your words and the structure that you wrote:
"or unwanted by anyone"
"everyone"
"else"
adds emphasis on "everyone else" which means there were some people who were not everyone else. In other words, there existed people not categorized in "everyone" which are unmentioned (probably a distinct relative of past interactions of that person). theres a possibility that my interpretation is obscure but thats how i see the last lines
I also find that you're an observer, although thats somewhat general but the poem strikes a subject of another person which shifts the focus less likely on u to that subject. that shift overlooks the other subject, which is u
the reason i read poetry on this website is because it shows the different types of people in this world. by reading, i see more about how people think, and see perspectives. i also learn more about people's characters (i hope i was not too discrete or harsh, its hard for me to write well on a short time limit)
:P
i enjoyed your read very very much,
i would like to analyze your poem :P
you are a very protective person, i'm assuming u have a religious background (christ-like figure) however i sense u could be very little insecure (sorry if i sound offensive) all of this i extracted from reading your poetry
line 2-3
it's attention I despise
-except from the right people-
shows how judgmental you are when it comes to critiquing people who interact with "you" (line 1). although thats a sign of you being protective(and that you care for that certain person) and a sign that you could have received some negative attention from those who gave attention to you (the author) -- from the non-right people.
and evidently u're a nice person because of your perseverance in giving "attention" (line 5) although i read it abstractly; "attention" could lead more to "can i take care of you" or "let me help you proof-read your essay" (somewhat like that :) )
I find it striking though that you ask for an "exchange" of "attention[s]" (lines 7-8), which shows the more self-centered side of you. (it seems that my words that describe you, and your character, are too strong) self-centered, i mean, is that you would not want to care or give "attention" to someone who would not care for you or return the attention back.
Somehow I could be wrong on this other critique which I'm about to say. you side noted "-or dirty-" after the line "however blackened" 9-11
which could imply that you find her heart is "blackened" due to experience of knowing that person. you could be wrong in this judgmental thing, not unless you know this person by heart (person who you've grown up with), but if you don't know quite well, i suggest a different approach :P
i like your poetry because for one thing (i love poetry) and short poems, i love to extract every single word -- these kinds of poems show who that person is. anyway when u used the word "sell" and connect it with "gladly" and relating that to the word "exchange" it represents a duality where u're a bargainer and a person dedicated, hence "dedicated bargainer!" now i really think i'm judging too discretely :P
judging from your poem, you also have somewhat of a sarcastic side.
line 1 shows that
"so it's attention that you need"
somewhat playful to be precise yet in a somewhat serious tone at the end of your poem, the shorter your words and the structure that you wrote:
"or unwanted by anyone"
"everyone"
"else"
adds emphasis on "everyone else" which means there were some people who were not everyone else. In other words, there existed people not categorized in "everyone" which are unmentioned (probably a distinct relative of past interactions of that person). theres a possibility that my interpretation is obscure but thats how i see the last lines
I also find that you're an observer, although thats somewhat general but the poem strikes a subject of another person which shifts the focus less likely on u to that subject. that shift overlooks the other subject, which is u
the reason i read poetry on this website is because it shows the different types of people in this world. by reading, i see more about how people think, and see perspectives. i also learn more about people's characters (i hope i was not too discrete or harsh, its hard for me to write well on a short time limit)
:P
i enjoyed your read very very much,
“Don't listen to friends when the Friend inside you says 'Do this.'” -Go Ghandi!
“Judge a man by his questions rather than by his answers” -Voltaire
"True friends stab you in the front" -Go Oscar Wilde!
“To succeed in life, you need two things: ignorance and confidence.” -Go Mark Twain!
“Judge a man by his questions rather than by his answers” -Voltaire
"True friends stab you in the front" -Go Oscar Wilde!
“To succeed in life, you need two things: ignorance and confidence.” -Go Mark Twain!
I am one of those people who love attention, as my wonderful boyfriend is all too familiar with. Bless him, he gets me pestering him if he ain't where he said he would be and if he ain't there for me when I want him to be. Basically, I HAVE to be the centre of his life else I get upset. But that's were we kinda fit in together. He doesn't mind looking after me as long as I am nice to him back.
It's good that there are people who don't like a lot of attention as that means that the people who do like attention are most likely to get it off those who don't like a lot of it. If that makes any sense. Lol.
Great poem that sums 'attention' up.
Luv Gingy x
It's good that there are people who don't like a lot of attention as that means that the people who do like attention are most likely to get it off those who don't like a lot of it. If that makes any sense. Lol.
Great poem that sums 'attention' up.
Luv Gingy x
People are going to see you, how they want to see you. Everyone is different and unique in their own way. But the people who love you and care about you, are whose opinions really matter.
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