I'll be Waiting...

[Hiyu]

It's... cold
Million layers of clothing
Billion light years from candles
But still...
It's cold...

Am i freezing to death?
I have no disease...
I just can't think of my rhymes...
I know I'm not running out of time...

Yet, it's still cold...

A stroll in the park of snows...
Look at those couples walking side by side!
Such thin-layered clothing...
But why aren't they freezing?

Two trees holding hands...
That white ice covering their trunks...
Their roots, the leaves...
But why aren't they dead from these low degrees?

And me?
I'm still wearing
My million layered jacket
Surrounded by billion lightyears illuminating from the candles...
Yet...

I feel cold...

I can't shiver
I can't shake
I can't feel nor sense!
It's just...
I'm cold...
Dead without even being dead...

Hell isn't supposed to be cold, right?
It's supposed to be fiery and burning...
But then...
Without someone to hug me...
My hell is the worst hell of all nightmares...

[Gillian]

It's... cold
Million layers of clothing
Billion light years from candles
But still...
It's cold...

Am i freezing to death?
I have no disease...
I just can't think of my rhymes...
I know I'm not running out of time...

Yet, it's still cold...

A strall in the park of snows...
Look at those couples walking side by side!
Such thin-layered clothing...
But why aren't they freezing?

Two trees holding hands...
That white ice covering their trunks...
Their roots, the leaves...
But why aren't they dead from this low degrees?

And me?
I'm still wearing
My million layered jacket
Surrounded by billion lightyears illuminating from the candles...
Yet...

I feel cold...

I can't shiver
I can't shake
I can't feel nor sense!
It's just...
I'm cold...
Dead without even being dead...

Hell isn't supposed to be cold, right?
It's supposed to be fiery and burning...
But then...
Without someone to hug me...
My hell is the worse hell of all nightmares...

Really good things going on here Hiyu. Just a couple of edits you might want to make.

"Strall" = Stroll
"...from this low degrees" - perhaps you meant to say from 'these' low degrees.

Anyway, just wanted to say how much I enjoyed this.

Gillian

[Hiyu]

oh thanks for that errors gillian!! im very glad u liked this poem... :D

[IfOnly...IfOnly...]

This was extremely good.

Wow is all I can say.

[Hiyu]

thanks very much for that reply... it really flattered me! :)

[TheMillionHope]

the last line gave me the chills, ...words like images

[Hiyu]

hehe... i liked the last line so myself... thanks!!! :)

[Hiyu]

just thought to bump this. :)