SON WORSHIP

Come on in to give and receive critique, suggestions or help with work in progress or finished pieces. Any format welcome.

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gordy
Windfall Prophet
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SON WORSHIP

Post by gordy » Sat Jul 13, 2002 9:32 pm

Watching the sun as it crosses the sky
Slowly a teardrop falls from my eye
Moved by its beauty and all that it brings
Like falling in love and flowers and spring
The sun is essential for constant rebirth
Bringing forth beauty and life on this earth

Watching my son as my wife soothes his cry
Slowly a teardrop falls from my eye
Moved by the beauty and joy of his birth
My heart seems to swell to an enormous girth
I kiss my son and then thank my wife
For bringing forth beauty and joy to my life

Watching the Son on the cross as He dies
Slowly the teardrops fall from my eyes
Moved by His beauty and glory in death
I suddenly know how much I am blessed
I hug my son and then kiss my wife
Realizing the reason He gave his life

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heinzs
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SON WORSHIP

Post by heinzs » Tue Sep 17, 2002 9:01 pm

Was this really all alone since July? Shame! Thanks for "dag"-in it. (grin)

[img]images/smiles/icon_cool.gif[/img]

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William Sabbath
Clearwater Poet
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SON WORSHIP

Post by William Sabbath » Tue Sep 17, 2002 10:37 pm

Slowly a teardrop falls from MY eye. Beautiful, gordy. And the flow was amazing. great poem. just great.

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gordy
Windfall Prophet
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SON WORSHIP

Post by gordy » Thu Sep 19, 2002 9:29 pm

thanks will, this is the first poem of my own that i really really liked and was proud of. [img]images/smiles/icon_biggrin.gif[/img]

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jacx1938

SON WORSHIP

Post by jacx1938 » Fri Dec 27, 2002 5:44 pm

How did I miss this one? It ministers to my spirit, and thats for sure. Keep em coming <img border="0" alt="[ThumbsUp]" title="" src="graemlins/thumbsup.gif" />

Jim.

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Tom Watson
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Post by Tom Watson » Tue Dec 23, 2003 6:00 pm

:bump: :mrgreen:
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"Whispers of Love" a book of poetry expressing love of the heart and spirit is released worldwide on August 11, 2009. Visit my home page at
Books From Grace for more information or Amazon.com

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jeannerené
Winter's Rose
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Post by jeannerené » Fri Dec 26, 2003 11:02 am

Beautiful Gordy...

jeanne
... and his words purge up and outward,
expelled and onward through desert dust swallowed,
sands he says that gorge on simple sensibilities.
And, now he spits fragments, grit, extended vowels and elongated syllables
over cracked lips. Their sounds fall
piling round his boots…
~ jeannerené

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~breathe~


flickr -jeannerene photostream

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gordy
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Post by gordy » Sat Jan 29, 2005 7:39 am

this was actually the first poem i posted here i think..........it's still one of my favorites :mrgreen:
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Image

My Jesus hung out with thieves and sluts and liars, which Jesus do you worship?

---Todd Agnew


Perfection is my enemy
Procrastination is his cohort
Persistence is my sword

---Gordy

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Debbie
God's Poetess
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Gordy

Post by Debbie » Sat Jan 29, 2005 11:17 am

:bump: :bump: :bump: :bump:
I cannot put in words how beautiful this poem is.

God has truly imparted in you a gift to express your innermost being...and to make it flow also.

Godpoetess D.

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Rain
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Post by Rain » Sat Jan 29, 2005 11:23 am

Wow! This was such a breath takingly beautifully lovely tender hearted poem. Wonderful. Gordy. Wonderful.
"Thou shalt not take my name in vain, no matter how hard it rains, withstand the pain." - DMX

"You wanna fight me? Fight these tears!" - DMX

"What good is it..
for a man to, gain the world..
yet lose his own soul, in the process?" - DMX

~~
<A HREF="http://www.freewebs.com/whisperingpoet/"><IMG SRC="http://www.pix8.net/pro/pic.php?u=14202ZUlJc&i=479185" ALT="Whispering Poet"></A>

Avatar by: Melfina

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gordy
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Post by gordy » Sat Dec 31, 2005 7:44 am

"My heart seems to swell to an enormous girth"



this line has always bothered me but i can't, for the life of me, think of a way to change it or fix it............so anyone who has an idea or if you think i should leave it alone or whatever, i am open to suggestions......this is one of my favorite poems that i have written but i dont particularly like that one line :mrgreen:
-----------------------------
Image

My Jesus hung out with thieves and sluts and liars, which Jesus do you worship?

---Todd Agnew


Perfection is my enemy
Procrastination is his cohort
Persistence is my sword

---Gordy

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MaggieMayNot

Post by MaggieMayNot » Mon Jan 09, 2006 2:50 am

"My heart seems to swell to an enormous girth"

My heart may move Heaven, here on my Earth - maybe ?????

Just a thought cos that "girth" really jumped out and snapped at me! :2cents:

Then ...... I kiss my son *gently* .... (just adding an adjective to fill out that line) :hello:

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gordy
Windfall Prophet
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Location: HAMILTON OHIO

Post by gordy » Mon Dec 04, 2006 7:37 am

:mrgreen:
-----------------------------
Image

My Jesus hung out with thieves and sluts and liars, which Jesus do you worship?

---Todd Agnew


Perfection is my enemy
Procrastination is his cohort
Persistence is my sword

---Gordy

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nacona
Clearwater Poet
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Location: Orlando Fl/Charlotte NC

Post by nacona » Tue Dec 05, 2006 2:31 pm

gordy,

This poem hardly needs a critique done on it, I think that perhaps you might have posted it in the wrong forum :wink:. j/k! I have read the poem and the other posts a couple of times and it seems the general agreement that this is a very nice write! This is intimate, the joy and love that one feels for life and the appriciation for the gift of life that we are all given. The connection that having a wife and child is a special gift, and that it is for this the the Lord gave his life beautifully written here, thank you for sharing!

Cheers!

Shawn Nacona
"I know how hard it is for you to put food on your family." —Greater Nashua, N.H., Jan. 27, 2000 -George W. Bush

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gordy
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Location: HAMILTON OHIO

Post by gordy » Tue Dec 05, 2006 4:15 pm

well, ok if you say so...lol......i still dont think girth needs to be in there it just doesnt fit to me , sometimes when i read it it sounds alright but other times it sounds akward.....thanks a lot for the awesome compliment tho :mrgreen:
-----------------------------
Image

My Jesus hung out with thieves and sluts and liars, which Jesus do you worship?

---Todd Agnew


Perfection is my enemy
Procrastination is his cohort
Persistence is my sword

---Gordy

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