Untitled Pantoum

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midnight_kitty_kat
Clearwater Poet
Posts: 60
Joined: Thu Jul 17, 2003 12:01 am
Tag line: Scientia Potentia Est
Location: Nebraska

Untitled Pantoum

Post by midnight_kitty_kat » Sun Aug 25, 2013 7:52 am

Torment me with broken promises.
Broken hearts and broken bones
thinly veiled fright, lonely and cold.
No one remembers how it was.

Broken hearts and broken bones?
Aching for darkness to call him home,
no one remembers what he was like.
Be careful, cold hearts die alone.

Aching for darkness to call him home,
enjoyable tragedy offering your lament.
Be careful, cold hearts die alone,
afflicted souls sing a sorrowful psalm.

Enoyable tragedy offer your sorrows,
thinly veiled truths, lonely and cold.
Afflicted soul, sing a psalm
torment me with broken promises.


My first and only Pantoum, this was really fun to write. I thought rictameter was my favorite (the only form I've actually posted) but I may have found a new love. I'm still fishing with titles so far. Hopefully I got the style right, I've heard that the repeated lines don't have to be exactly the same, but I've also heard they do. It worked out better for me to change them up a bit.
“I am thrilled to be alive at time when humanity is pushing against the limits of understanding. Even better, we may eventually discover that there are no limits.”
― Richard Dawkins

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heinzs
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Re: Untitled Pantoum

Post by heinzs » Sun Aug 25, 2013 10:48 am

It is poetic license to take a format and modify it to meet your (the poet's) needs. It is the poem, after all, that is trying to get the chance to speak. Traditional form works well if you are a traditionalist. Even William Shakespeare wandered away from his "traditional" iambic pentameter on many occasions when the poetic need to do so arose. Because the pantoum does not have any rhyming "requirement" it often appears to the untrained eye as free verse. This one works well under both definitions. Good job, Kitty!

:thumbsup:
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midnight_kitty_kat
Clearwater Poet
Posts: 60
Joined: Thu Jul 17, 2003 12:01 am
Tag line: Scientia Potentia Est
Location: Nebraska

Re: Untitled Pantoum

Post by midnight_kitty_kat » Thu Aug 29, 2013 10:21 am

Thank you very much :grin:
“I am thrilled to be alive at time when humanity is pushing against the limits of understanding. Even better, we may eventually discover that there are no limits.”
― Richard Dawkins

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