Nothing In The Way

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bags123
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Nothing In The Way

Post by bags123 » Tue Apr 23, 2013 7:47 am

Nothing In The Way


The forward path is shortened
Disappearing in the shadows
Where pavements blend
in narrow ribbons
Foggy, fingered,
tendrils

Across a map that only shows
all the places
that I've been
I'll recognize each marker,
for each towns
Best Western Inn.

The forward path however,
still remains a mystery
Hidden by
the same old hauntings
Choices past
that shouldn't be

Disadvantaged by times progress
I'll advance
until that day
When everything is clear again
When nothing's
in the way.
I prefer to keep an open mind,....but not so much that my brains fall out.- Carl Sagan
Your brain is like an umbrella. It only works when it's open- Someone Smart


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March 2011

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heinzs
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Re: The Forward Path

Post by heinzs » Tue Apr 23, 2013 11:13 am

last stanza is a bit odd. Also check "thrist"...

:hello:
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bags123
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Re: The Forward Path

Post by bags123 » Tue Apr 23, 2013 12:54 pm

Thanks Heinz,...I corrected Thrist and agree that the last stanza is odd. I'm working on something to correct that too. :cheers:
I prefer to keep an open mind,....but not so much that my brains fall out.- Carl Sagan
Your brain is like an umbrella. It only works when it's open- Someone Smart


Poet of the Month
March 2011

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bags123
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Posts: 4701
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Location: Upstate

Re: Nothing In The Way

Post by bags123 » Tue Jun 04, 2013 8:16 am

I decided to change a number of things on this one. Including the title. Much happier with the result. :cheers:
I prefer to keep an open mind,....but not so much that my brains fall out.- Carl Sagan
Your brain is like an umbrella. It only works when it's open- Someone Smart


Poet of the Month
March 2011

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heinzs
The Fat Cat
Posts: 8400
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Tag line: Do no harm
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Re: Nothing In The Way

Post by heinzs » Tue Jun 04, 2013 10:02 am

I likey very much! Definitely more "complete". Great job, Gerry!

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**************************************
An' it harm none, do what ye will. Blessed Be.
Image
***************************************
My Poet's Page Archive | Topics I've started

User avatar
bags123
Insufferable Crouton
Posts: 4701
Joined: Sun Feb 10, 2002 12:01 am
Location: Upstate

Re: Nothing In The Way

Post by bags123 » Tue Jun 04, 2013 11:24 am

:hello: :thumbsup:
I prefer to keep an open mind,....but not so much that my brains fall out.- Carl Sagan
Your brain is like an umbrella. It only works when it's open- Someone Smart


Poet of the Month
March 2011

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