The Last Curtain Call

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midnight_kitty_kat
Clearwater Poet
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The Last Curtain Call

Post by midnight_kitty_kat » Mon Apr 01, 2013 10:29 pm

Thanks for the tip about the "So what is haiku anyways?" thread, I found it to be very helpful. I also checked out the forum explaining all the different types of form poetry which were also very informative. So without further ado... my first attempt at a rictameter!

Smiling
never happens now.
Beautiful your fallen
eyes hold no love for this failure.
This poor disgrace, standing alone waiting for
the last curtain call, the ending.
Crumbling inside I
slowly turn away,
smiling.

I hope I counted all the syllables right!
“I am thrilled to be alive at time when humanity is pushing against the limits of understanding. Even better, we may eventually discover that there are no limits.”
― Richard Dawkins

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heinzs
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Re: The Last Curtain Call

Post by heinzs » Mon Apr 01, 2013 11:25 pm

Count the syllables again. should be:
2
4
6
8
10
8
6
4
2
:mrgreen:
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An' it harm none, do what ye will. Blessed Be.
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midnight_kitty_kat
Clearwater Poet
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Joined: Thu Jul 17, 2003 12:01 am
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Location: Nebraska

EDIT*LINE 6

Post by midnight_kitty_kat » Mon Apr 01, 2013 11:59 pm

Hahaha oh my gosh, it's been some years since I've done this, I think I've fixed it. Of course if I've miscounted again, I'm going to blame it on the late hour. I saw where my mistakes were and I had to change some of the words.

Smiling
never comes now.
Beautiful, your fallen
eyes hold no love for this failure.
This poor disgrace, standing alone waiting
for the last curtain call, the end.
Inside I am crumbling
hiding my tears.
Smiling.
Last edited by midnight_kitty_kat on Sat Sep 07, 2013 10:40 am, edited 3 times in total.
“I am thrilled to be alive at time when humanity is pushing against the limits of understanding. Even better, we may eventually discover that there are no limits.”
― Richard Dawkins

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heinzs
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Re: The Last Curtain Call

Post by heinzs » Tue Apr 02, 2013 5:38 pm

I would normally consider "crumbling" as two syllables (crum-bling), though poetically it can be streeeeeetched to 3 (crum-bl-ing) :thumbsup:
**************************************
An' it harm none, do what ye will. Blessed Be.
Image
***************************************
My Poet's Page Archive | Topics I've started

User avatar
midnight_kitty_kat
Clearwater Poet
Posts: 60
Joined: Thu Jul 17, 2003 12:01 am
Tag line: Scientia Potentia Est
Location: Nebraska

Re: The Last Curtain Call

Post by midnight_kitty_kat » Tue Apr 02, 2013 6:43 pm

heinzs wrote:I would normally consider "crumbling" as two syllables (crum-bling), though poetically it can be streeeeeetched to 3 (crum-bl-ing) :thumbsup:
Oh I must've been strectching. Easily fixed, I will edit it to say "Inside I am crumbling" :cool:
“I am thrilled to be alive at time when humanity is pushing against the limits of understanding. Even better, we may eventually discover that there are no limits.”
― Richard Dawkins

User avatar
heinzs
The Fat Cat
Posts: 8351
Joined: Tue Dec 18, 2001 12:01 am
Tag line: Do no harm
Location: Novato, CA
Contact:

Re: The Last Curtain Call

Post by heinzs » Tue Apr 02, 2013 11:39 pm

:cool:
**************************************
An' it harm none, do what ye will. Blessed Be.
Image
***************************************
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