Feeling darker than the bedroom that is haunted by the thought
That I’m betraying all that matters in pursuit of what does not;
Counting shadows on the ceiling that are cast there by the rain,
As I lay sleepless in the knowledge that I don’t intend to change.
Insomnia
Moderator: bags123
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- Clearwater Poet
- Posts: 5
- Joined: Mon Aug 27, 2012 7:36 pm
- Location: Atlanta, GA
Re: Insomnia
partialpoet wrote:Feeling darker than the bedroom that is haunted by the thought
That I’m betraying all that matters in pursuit of what does not;
Counting shadows on the ceiling that are cast there by the rain,
As I lay sleepless in the knowledge that I don’t intend to change.
I like the feel and the flow
"Counting shadows on the ceiling that are cast there by the rain"
could be a different visual, I couldn't connect this one in my mind to any image or feeling. But that could always be just me, some random reader :)
"You leapt into the abyss, but find, It only goes up to your knees"... Nick Cave
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- Clearwater Poet
- Posts: 5
- Joined: Mon Aug 27, 2012 7:36 pm
- Location: Atlanta, GA
Re: Insomnia
you're right, it's supposed to be rain on the window--some small outside light casting shadows on the ceiling--but that isn't effectively expressed.
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