Waking in winter

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Waking in winter

Post by burdick » Wed May 09, 2012 4:13 am

We wake in winter darkness,
Lacking bird song or trite sound.
Dull gray the morning light dawns,
Wet slush on the porch is found.

I age even faster now,
Joints are stiff, my back is bent.
Fruit trees bear no promises
Branches from the oak are rent.

Oh woe! Time flees but still drags.
Tasks undone wait unattended,
Thought to be done in winter,
My work ethic offended.

Too little light, sound or hope
Too much procrastination.
Here’s a weary melody,
Gloom solely without ration.

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Re: Waking in winter

Post by heinzs » Wed Jul 04, 2012 8:30 pm

An' it harm none, do what ye will. Blessed Be.
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Re: Waking in winter

Post by DarleneG » Sun Jul 15, 2012 12:41 pm

:hello: burdick, I found your poem, "Waking In winter" a touching portrait about aging. And I think you have written well of connecting your aging with the fruit trees that bear no fruit and the rent branches. An appropriate setting for your poem is winter where there are no signs of growth. And when you talk about too little light, sound or hope, it insinuates that there is little of this i n you, as well as nature. When you woke, there was only silence, as if the winter snow during the night had covered nature with a blanket. And this is a quiet time for you as well, Your feelings are blanketed with little hope for the future. It is a sad poem.

This is just what I got from the poem. I do not have any critique experience. :hearts:
"Poetry is what in a poem makes your toenails twinkle."----Dylan Thomas
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