You made me flat and shaded
in a world of shape and hue.
You left me here degraded,
With this thing you chose to do.
Purple is a color you
splashed about my fragile face.
Forcing me to hide my true
nature, in my own disgrace.
Black and blue your palate for
pushing me toward the shades,
showing me my dull future
where the light has found delays.
Embracing weakened structure
my dimension slowly fades,
enduring daily torture
as resolve surely decays.
Here I lay flat and shaded,
in the world of shape and hue.
Where is the life unjaded
I was so accustomed to?
*******************************************************
I'm having a rough time with this one. I'm not sure the imagery flows correctly or comes across right... any input?
Untitled (Shape and Hue) *Revised*
Moderator: bags123
-
- Melpomenes Heiress
- Posts: 552
- Joined: Wed May 05, 2010 9:49 am
- Location: My Ocean of Dreams
- Contact:
Untitled (Shape and Hue) *Revised*
Re: Untitled (Shape and Hue)
Very good Meter and rhyme scheme Jady. Kind of depressing topic though.
I prefer to keep an open mind,....but not so much that my brains fall out.- Carl Sagan
Your brain is like an umbrella. It only works when it's open- Someone Smart
Poet of the Month
March 2011
Your brain is like an umbrella. It only works when it's open- Someone Smart
Poet of the Month
March 2011
-
- Melpomenes Heiress
- Posts: 552
- Joined: Wed May 05, 2010 9:49 am
- Location: My Ocean of Dreams
- Contact:
Re: Untitled (Shape and Hue)
I've been having nightmares about when I was abused. The only way I have ever found to get them to stop is to write about it. So yeah, it's a depressing topic. Sorries.
Re: Untitled (Shape and Hue)
write it out sister
-----------------------------
My Jesus hung out with thieves and sluts and liars, which Jesus do you worship?
---Todd Agnew
Perfection is my enemy
Procrastination is his cohort
Persistence is my sword
---Gordy
My Jesus hung out with thieves and sluts and liars, which Jesus do you worship?
---Todd Agnew
Perfection is my enemy
Procrastination is his cohort
Persistence is my sword
---Gordy
- Laverne Pacquire
- Seafoam Poet
- Posts: 166
- Joined: Tue Apr 27, 2010 6:35 pm
- Contact:
Re: Untitled (Shape and Hue) *Revised*
okay, i guess,
a little on the dry side.
a little sad
i think you need a man to write about
form is lively
i read it to the end
a little on the dry side.
a little sad
i think you need a man to write about
form is lively
i read it to the end
Jadynara wrote:You made me flat and shaded
in a world of shape and hue.
You left me here degraded,
With this thing you chose to do.
Purple is a color you
splashed about my fragile face.
Forcing me to hide my true
nature, in my own disgrace.
Black and blue your palate for
pushing me toward the shades,
showing me my dull future
where the light has found delays.
Embracing weakened structure
my dimension slowly fades,
enduring daily torture
as resolve surely decays.
Here I lay flat and shaded,
in the world of shape and hue.
Where is the life unjaded
I was so accustomed to?
*******************************************************
I'm having a rough time with this one. I'm not sure the imagery flows correctly or comes across right... any input?
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