Untitled (Shape and Hue) *Revised*

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Jadynara
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Untitled (Shape and Hue) *Revised*

Post by Jadynara » Thu Sep 16, 2010 6:15 pm

You made me flat and shaded
in a world of shape and hue.
You left me here degraded,
With this thing you chose to do.

Purple is a color you
splashed about my fragile face.
Forcing me to hide my true
nature, in my own disgrace.

Black and blue your palate for
pushing me toward the shades,
showing me my dull future
where the light has found delays.

Embracing weakened structure
my dimension slowly fades,
enduring daily torture
as resolve surely decays.

Here I lay flat and shaded,
in the world of shape and hue.
Where is the life unjaded
I was so accustomed to?

*******************************************************

I'm having a rough time with this one. I'm not sure the imagery flows correctly or comes across right... any input?
So we're lost, at least we've found each other. Take my hand, if we can't find our way out of the dark, we can make our own light. - Nicole M. Goretzke 2011

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bags123
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Re: Untitled (Shape and Hue)

Post by bags123 » Fri Sep 17, 2010 8:37 am

Very good Meter and rhyme scheme Jady. Kind of depressing topic though. :cheers:
I prefer to keep an open mind,....but not so much that my brains fall out.- Carl Sagan
Your brain is like an umbrella. It only works when it's open- Someone Smart


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March 2011

Jadynara
Melpomenes Heiress
Posts: 552
Joined: Wed May 05, 2010 9:49 am
Location: My Ocean of Dreams
Contact:

Re: Untitled (Shape and Hue)

Post by Jadynara » Fri Sep 17, 2010 12:00 pm

I've been having nightmares about when I was abused. The only way I have ever found to get them to stop is to write about it. So yeah, it's a depressing topic. Sorries. :shrug:
So we're lost, at least we've found each other. Take my hand, if we can't find our way out of the dark, we can make our own light. - Nicole M. Goretzke 2011

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gordy
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Re: Untitled (Shape and Hue)

Post by gordy » Fri Sep 17, 2010 1:46 pm

write it out sister
-----------------------------
Image

My Jesus hung out with thieves and sluts and liars, which Jesus do you worship?

---Todd Agnew


Perfection is my enemy
Procrastination is his cohort
Persistence is my sword

---Gordy

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Laverne Pacquire
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Re: Untitled (Shape and Hue) *Revised*

Post by Laverne Pacquire » Tue Nov 30, 2010 5:37 pm

okay, i guess,

a little on the dry side. :darn:
a little sad :crying:

i think you need a man to write about :lol:

form is lively :lol:

i read it to the end :bow:


Jadynara wrote:You made me flat and shaded
in a world of shape and hue.
You left me here degraded,
With this thing you chose to do.

Purple is a color you
splashed about my fragile face.
Forcing me to hide my true
nature, in my own disgrace.

Black and blue your palate for
pushing me toward the shades,
showing me my dull future
where the light has found delays.

Embracing weakened structure
my dimension slowly fades,
enduring daily torture
as resolve surely decays.

Here I lay flat and shaded,
in the world of shape and hue.
Where is the life unjaded
I was so accustomed to?

*******************************************************

I'm having a rough time with this one. I'm not sure the imagery flows correctly or comes across right... any input?
You're Beautiful..Don't You Know It!

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