MY MARRIAGE

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jkalwaye
Clearwater Poet
Posts: 11
Joined: Thu Apr 01, 2010 9:13 am
Location: Server in India

MY MARRIAGE

Post by jkalwaye » Fri Apr 02, 2010 9:29 am

We will get married in
Saint Dominic Church Tomorrow.
I am very anxious about
That event which will happen
Smoothly and anxious how
I treat my guests without
Complaints any and manners
Behave me to receipt them.
It is a miracle given us by
God after years of love
Between us and stress
I make a correction in our
Invitation we will get
Married on tomorrow
Instead of I wed she.



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heinzs
The Fat Cat
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Re: MY MARRIAGE

Post by heinzs » Sun May 23, 2010 2:28 pm

I think I catch where you are going. I am ever intrigued by the subtle nuances that can be achieved in English by non-English poets.

:thumbsup:
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bags123
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Joined: Sun Feb 10, 2002 12:01 am
Location: Upstate

Re: MY MARRIAGE

Post by bags123 » Tue May 25, 2010 11:14 am

heinzs wrote:I think I catch where you are going. I am ever intrigued by the subtle nuances that can be achieved in English by non-English poets.

:thumbsup:

Unfortunately,... I don't,...and remain quite puzzled after reading through 3 times. :book:
I prefer to keep an open mind,....but not so much that my brains fall out.- Carl Sagan
Your brain is like an umbrella. It only works when it's open- Someone Smart


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heinzs
The Fat Cat
Posts: 8396
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Tag line: Do no harm
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Re: MY MARRIAGE

Post by heinzs » Tue May 25, 2010 8:24 pm

:mrgreen:
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An' it harm none, do what ye will. Blessed Be.
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mjarabrab
Clearwater Poet
Posts: 32
Joined: Tue Sep 27, 2005 11:10 am

Re: MY MARRIAGE

Post by mjarabrab » Sat Jun 05, 2010 2:23 pm

We will get married in
Saint Dominic Church Tomorrow.
I am very anxious about
That event which will happen
Smoothly and anxious how
I treat my guests without
Complaints any and manners
Behave me to receipt them.
It is a miracle given us by
God after years of love
Between us and stress
I make a correction in our
Invitation we will get
Married on tomorrow
Instead of I wed she.

Your first line was very direct, and I knew the beginning of where you were going, then the words kind of read as though they really didn't match what you're trying to say. Especially the ending, so I'm not sure if English is your second lanquage, or if you meant it to word this way. "Behave me to receipt them" makes no sense to me, what were you trying to say?
Your last line lost me, starting with "instead" because it left me with "instead of what?"
Please explain if you'd like,
Mj

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