Empty Bottles

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Proton C

Empty Bottles

Post by Proton C » Wed Jan 07, 2009 8:55 pm

This is a revised version of the poem "Cannonball". It was posted a few days ago in this forum. Upon revisiting, I realized I was not happy with what I posted at all. So I gave it another shot...here's what I came up with.

Once plump grapes,
now but sour wine.
Love plucked from the vine,
by necessities foolish hand.

Dizzy spells
Empty bottles
Sleeping pills

Left in the residual headache
of a bad hangover.

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The Fat Cat
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Re: Empty Bottles

Post by heinzs » Sat Jan 24, 2009 1:14 pm

I think this works very well. I find nothing to critique.

An' it harm none, do what ye will. Blessed Be.
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Re: Empty Bottles

Post by PaulaSedai » Sat Feb 21, 2009 5:37 pm

This is nice! It's tidy...and it feels good to read it aloud. :mrgreen:

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