November

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nacona
Clearwater Poet
Posts: 104
Joined: Tue Aug 15, 2006 7:11 am
Location: Orlando Fl/Charlotte NC

November

Post by nacona » Sat Nov 08, 2008 8:07 am

November
(Euonymus Alatus)

First frost, and they erupt into flames,
foliage lapping at streams of wind
that blends the bitterness of their orange berries
with the iced scent of November air.

Among my wilted cabbage roses they burn, taunting
from the place I plucked them
last spring. I thought I’d murdered them for sure,
holding each up like a scalped trophy,
but they sprout two and four where there was only one before.

Standing on my porch deck I ponder them,
the fire of their leaves crackles,
speaks the deistic vernacular of Gods.
I make a stubborn Moses, refuse to listen,
even when snows extinguish their flames
before they camouflage in the strewed greens of April.

They foretell of a time they’ll inherit my garden,
their planted seeds stir, inch up for breathe.

1st Draft
Charlotte, NC
11/7/2008
"I know how hard it is for you to put food on your family." —Greater Nashua, N.H., Jan. 27, 2000 -George W. Bush

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heinzs
The Fat Cat
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Joined: Tue Dec 18, 2001 12:01 am
Tag line: Do no harm
Location: Novato, CA
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Re: November

Post by heinzs » Sat Nov 08, 2008 11:57 am

I love the resiliency of weeds at the same time I decry it... lol. Good to see you.

:thumbsup:
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An' it harm none, do what ye will. Blessed Be.
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snorple
Seafoam Poet
Posts: 157
Joined: Fri Feb 17, 2006 4:30 am

Re: November

Post by snorple » Tue Nov 11, 2008 2:54 am

I hadn't even notied it was about 'unwanted flowers' until Heinzs mentioned it in his post. I started out looking for weaknesses in the poem itself but then as I read I recognised the scences so familiar to me.

I became engrossed and enjoyed the seasons and the effort and love one feels for ones garden. I entered your garden for a brief visit and wished it was longer and with more words for me to dwell on and savour and in your poem we now become friends who share an interest in gardens and the telling of them.

Snorple (it's just an Internet name of no value other than to serve as a name of sorts.)

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AbandonThought

Re: November

Post by AbandonThought » Tue Nov 11, 2008 5:19 pm

Hi!

Love it:
I really love the contrasting image in the first line
First frost, and they erupt into flames,
and later in even
when snows extinguish their flames
This line really grabbed me:
with the iced scent of November air.
Suggestions:
I would include more of this great contrasting imagery. You do a great job of blending the "shock" of the changing seasons by integrating harsh opposites onto the same line (as I pointed out above). This is great - consider working with it more! Those are my favorite parts :)

Questions
What is the tone that you are trying to strike toward the plant? The season? I think in a few more readings I might settle on an answer to my own questions, but I was just wondering what your intentions were...

LostNight
Clearwater Poet
Posts: 138
Joined: Sat Feb 17, 2007 7:29 pm
Location: Wandering through the evergreens in Washington, State
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Re: November

Post by LostNight » Wed Nov 19, 2008 9:00 pm

I have an appreciation for gardening poems. I got up an took another look at mine for the day, then read yours again. I enjoyed it... :thewave:
The wheels of time
how ever slow
speeds up
as we grow

*
So much be said
with so few words

*
http://thelostnight.blogspot.com/

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