Bipo

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snorple
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Bipo

Post by snorple » Sun Apr 13, 2008 3:23 am

Bipolar Blues
Last edited by snorple on Sat Apr 18, 2009 6:53 am, edited 3 times in total.

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heinzs
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Re: Bipolar Blues

Post by heinzs » Wed Apr 23, 2008 11:13 pm

:cool: :cool:
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nekot
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Re: Bipolar Blues

Post by nekot » Tue May 27, 2008 9:10 pm

Well stated Snorple....sad that is an accurate depiction.

My only suggestion would be commas in the first line of the last verse.

Well done....as usual.

:thumbsup:

note this line: Medic run with medic's chest ... Do you mean Medic runs ......


:cheers:
~carol
~eloquently scattered~
nekot's tokens

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Tony Fiona
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Re: Bipolar Blues

Post by Tony Fiona » Wed May 28, 2008 6:36 am

well said
deeply touching
:cheers: :cheers:
" There's a race of men that can't stay still
A race that don't fit in
They break the hearts of kith and kin
and roam the world at will. " ------------Robert Service
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snorple
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Re: Bipolar Blues

Post by snorple » Wed Jun 18, 2008 3:51 pm

Thanks Nekot, I had a look at that line and I wanted it to be read fast with no pauses, I think it reads aloud better that way.

Thanks for your comments Tony and Fiona, it is a miserable window into and onto the world of the Bipolar in it's most fierce form. not all are as bad as this, some may be worse. The poem consists of an amalgum of people but with one particular person coming to the fore. I am not entirely sure why i wrote it but I did, and there it is.

Sorry I've been so long in replying, it's always nice to get a response from fellow poets.

Snorple

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Cyan
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Re: Bipolar Blues

Post by Cyan » Thu Jun 26, 2008 12:52 pm

I enjoyed the read;

"Crushing blows to satanic halls " didn't quite make sense to me.. it kind of felt like it was jus there to fill space.

Only real criticism though, alltogether enjoyable
"in the bright light of day and even in the happiest moments of our waking spirit we are ordered around a little by the habits of our dreams."
- Nietzsche

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Moushka
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Re: Bipolar Blues

Post by Moushka » Thu Jul 17, 2008 1:15 am

I felt the same about 'satanic halls'..........and was thinking that the word 'walls' also rhymes with stalls.....I'm bi-polar but none of us are really the same........so this is just a thought.....maybe 'demonic walls'............
Stuck on Number 2. Learning to begin.
1.Believe 2.Belong 3.Become
1.Awareness 2.Acceptance 3.Action

snorple
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Re: Bipolar Blues

Post by snorple » Fri Oct 24, 2008 4:29 pm

Thanks Moushaka for your advice. Don't know what to do, I messed around with this for a while, not sure how to proceed.

Snorple

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Moushka
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Re: Bipolar Blues

Post by Moushka » Wed Nov 05, 2008 11:38 am

Well just keep a pen and paper next to your bed in case it comes to you in the middle of the night :shock:
Stuck on Number 2. Learning to begin.
1.Believe 2.Belong 3.Become
1.Awareness 2.Acceptance 3.Action

snorple
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Re: Bipolar Blues

Post by snorple » Wed Nov 05, 2008 3:06 pm

When I sleep it is the sleep of the dead, when I awake it takes me two hours to come to let alone write. But thanks.

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nacona
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Re: Bipolar Blues

Post by nacona » Sat Nov 08, 2008 8:05 am

snorple,

What an interesting member name you have! I've not been around in a while, tuff year, so I do not think that I have met you yet, but if not then hey there! It's nice to meet you! Now, as for your poem, I think you have done well (particularly in a time where Bipolar poems have become common) with taken a well known and written about subject and making it fresh for your reader. I do not see much I would change or add to others posts on this. I enjoyed, thanks for sharing!

Cheers!

Shawn Nacona
"I know how hard it is for you to put food on your family." —Greater Nashua, N.H., Jan. 27, 2000 -George W. Bush

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snorple
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Re: Bipolar Blues

Post by snorple » Sun Nov 09, 2008 6:16 am

Thanks Nacoma, I have never seen another poem about bipolar but i will take your word about it. Glad you enjoyed and nice to meet you.

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heinzs
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Re: Bipolar Blues

Post by heinzs » Sun Nov 09, 2008 6:40 pm

~Bipolar~

Walking in the shadows
I feel the oppression,
the weight of grief
that pervades my life.
Uncertainty and fear
cloud rational thought,
making decisions harder
to identify and actuate.

Walking in the light
I feel elation,
freedom of spirit
and beckoning joy.
Semi-euphoric,
all seems at last possible
and I leap forward
with boundless energy.

So I swing, from dark to light -
never to enjoy that middle ground.
Doomed to be manic or depressed,
affecting my life and those near me.
Yet somehow I manage to function
and maintain a semblance of normalcy.
Medication but masks my mood,
creating a passable attitude.

3/20/2002
Heinzs

:mrgreen:
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snorple
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Re: Bipolar Blues

Post by snorple » Mon Nov 10, 2008 1:15 pm

Ah, thanks you Heinzs, now I have read another poem.

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heinzs
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Re: Bipolar Blues

Post by heinzs » Mon Nov 10, 2008 8:26 pm

Always pleased to help broaden your scope of experience, as I am pleased to have mine broadened.

:thumbsup:
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An' it harm none, do what ye will. Blessed Be.
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