The Un-Born Poem

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nacona
Clearwater Poet
Posts: 104
Joined: Tue Aug 15, 2006 7:11 am
Location: Orlando Fl/Charlotte NC

The Un-Born Poem

Post by nacona » Sun Nov 26, 2006 12:06 am

The Un-Born Poem

The embryo of this poem
is only partially formed.
The white blue lined page
of my womb
is just five lines full,
and even as I etch out
each red-inked word
the cramps grip my side
as if the fiery fist of God.
I can feel each sentence slide
like warm milk down my thigh
as the ink-well of my mind
runs dry. I crumple
up the paper, and toss
the fetus into the waste basket.
The poem has been miscarried!


11/24/2006
Charlotte, NC
1st Draft
"I know how hard it is for you to put food on your family." —Greater Nashua, N.H., Jan. 27, 2000 -George W. Bush

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heinzs
The Fat Cat
Posts: 8406
Joined: Tue Dec 18, 2001 12:01 am
Tag line: Do no harm
Location: Novato, CA
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Re: The Un-Born Poem

Post by heinzs » Sun Nov 26, 2006 11:31 am

nacona wrote:The Un-Born Poem

The embryo of this poem
is only partially formed.
The white blue lined page
of my womb
is just five lines full,
and even as I etch out
each red-inked word
the cramps grip my side
as if the fiery fist of God.
I can feel each sentence slide
like warm milk down my thigh
as the ink-well of my mind
runs dry. I crumple
up the paper, and toss
the fetus into the waste basket.
The poem has been miscarried!


11/24/2006
Charlotte, NC
1st Draft

Suggestion:

The poem embryo
is only partially formed...
the white page of my womb
just five blue lines full...
and even as I etch out
each red-inked word
the cramps grip my side
with the fiery fist of God.
I can feel each sentence slide
like warm blood down my thigh
as the ink-well of my mind
runs dry.
I crumple up the paper
and toss the fetus
into the waste basket...
the poem miscarried.


:cool: :cool:
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An' it harm none, do what ye will. Blessed Be.
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