ANGELA

[coolpoet]

Never once looking back,
Nor regretting my decision,
I made my way to the place
I’d long wanted to go.
“Never die on the way to the peak”
I told myself repeatedly,
As if it would matter.
I smiled and let out a hollow, dry laughter
Desperately trying to stop my mind
From thinking about my incorrigible and monotonous life.
I chuckled again when I thought that
I at least had my mind in control
If not my life.
I took one baby step at a time
Cursing my destiny and myself.
Tears glided along my cheeks
I couldn’t stop them, let alone control them.
I snorted, wishing there were incantations
To stop tears.
Even now, I wanted to say ”Cry? No, that’s not in my charts!”
But couldn’t.

I chided myself to close my eyes
When I “accidentally” peered down.
I reached the summit at last
Letting out a deep sigh.
All I had to do was count
And it came to me naturally
one after the other,
Which made me think of my kindergarten teacher,
Miss. Rose’s high-pitched voice.
Now, I seriously wonder if a person can think of stupid things and laugh
When he has decided to die!
That’s me, yep!”I’m one of a kind”
I said out loud, framing an epithet.
Just as I took a step forward did I hear the voice.
I turned back, nonplussed
And could see a child crying, almost sobbing.
I waved to her, smiling broadly.
I searched for a baby-sitter, couldn’t find one.
I laughed again.
Now,she wasn’t crying, nor was cackling.
She was gawking at me like a child would,
At an extra-terrestial.
I suppressed a grin and exactly knew what I should do
Under the circumstances.
Slowly retracing the steps,
Puffing and panting, went I.
She clung to me and I couldn’t help nuzzling her.
Now I knew, I wasn’t the one destined to die.
Isn’t it true that life takes many turns?
While my mind was jammed with all these thoughts,
Angela giggled merrily with her angelic face,
Pinching my nose.

[heinzs]

It's such a lovely piece I can hardly find anyplace to "critique"... Perhaps it's meant to be what it is.

[coolpoet]

Thanks a lot for the encouraging words.


Love,
Ranjani

[nacona]

coolpoet,

In was going to break this down for you, and you changed the form, revised and reposted. I have to agree with Hienzs. I am reading through, and I cannot see a whole lot I would change. This form is much better by the way, and I see that you listened to the advice I gave you in a short crit on this. This flows together nicely, the teo long stanzas make for a stronger poem than the last draft. You have done an awsome job on this one, and I very much enjoyed this read. Keep up the good writing!

Cheers!

Shawn Nacona

[coolpoet]

Thanks a lot,Shawn!

[crocbait]

let it be! any attempt at improvement would fail...let it be!

just me