**"Daddy"** Poem of the Week: January 23, 2005

[heinzs]

Winner: Poem of the Week: January 23, 2005




"Daddy"

In the darkness I sit,
sobbing uncontrollably,
inconsolably.
My back against the bed,
my knees tight
against my chest.
I rock with each sob,
punctuating the dreadful pain.
I see his naked form,
floating,
bobbing on the pool surface
like a rubber toy.
I know he is gone -
nevermore to romp and frolic
in carefree childish joy.
Never again shall I hold him
tightly to my heart
as I now hug my knees.
In the midst of my family
I am alone
and lost.
Grief and memory
are all that remain.
Despair clouds my mind
and I consider ending it -
the truth is unbearable.
But something stays my hand,
and now, after twenty years,
the pain no longer stabs
quite so sharply.
At long last it is time
to let this aged scar
rest upon my soul.
I must forge ahead
towards life!
Too long ignored,
too many others hurt
in the process.
I must heal myself
before I can heal
my family.

But...
he never called me
"Daddy".

2-7-2002

*****************
Admin note:
Nominated for Poem of the Week on 1/18/2005

[heinzs]

[nrip4life]

..pops i wept at this poem and i agree ...this is the most sadening poem ive read since i cannot recalect...i am in awe..and i am also in remorse for this powerful pain you have revealed...bless you heinz......nrip

[heinzs]

Thank you nrip... it was a looong time ago, yet feels like yesterday.

[Debbie]

Heinz my heart was screaming as I read this poem, I'm a mother of 4 and almost lost one in a car accident.. I say almost..i can never understand your grief..but have a fair idea of the pain you felt.
I'm also smiling for you because your pain has eazed in your heart..even though it still feels like yesterday.
God love you..you are such a kind person Heinz.. I got a taste of that last night.. thanks again for all of your help.
I pray I worded this right..
D.

[heinzs]

You worded that just fine, Debbie. Thank you.

It is the most devastating thing that can ever happen to a parent, and yet it happens every day to thousands around the world. Accident, disease, famine, war and natural disaster all take their tolls. What disturbs me the most is the intentional violence perpetrated upon the innocent by family members or strangers. It is not a perfect world by any means.

[Richard taylor]

been through this my friend it never leaves but one think
holds me as i wrote about mam

" we don't really die, this life is the start not the end

we open a door and go into another room I will see you there mam"

[heinzs]

I believe that, too, Richard! Thankyou!

[moonflower]

words are not adequate to express the sorrow i felt after reading this Heinzs.. my heart (and my eyes) was crying clear through it ..so sad and unfair!..its every parents nightmare..but i too am so thankful that time has made it somewhat bearable for you..and, as God promises, we all have the hope of seeing our dead loved ones again someday..

thank you for sharing this with us Heinzs..may your burden be lightened to know that others care..*hugs*

[Friend_forever]

Its a sad poem, I cant really know what you went through - And I pray that nobody else should have to experience all that pain that you have gone through...

I was crying through the whole poem... And words cant express what i felt after reading the whole piece... I was just imagining if it were I instead of you going through all that pain, I guess I would have died...

May god bless you...

Nosh

[heinzs]

Thanks Val. It is only the fact that others did care that I was able to survive the depths of my grief and continue living.

Actually, Nosh, part of me (the "old" me) did die. The part that lived on had a rough time of it yet managed to become who I am today. I am much more serene in my new self than I ever could have been before.

H.

[Haroo]

Like usual ...

AWESOME WRITE!!!!

[moonflower]

i cried as i read through this again ..such a truly unforgettable piece this is Heinzs..

[heinzs]

Thanks Val.

[heinzs]