Remembering

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nacona
Clearwater Poet
Posts: 104
Joined: Tue Aug 15, 2006 7:11 am
Location: Orlando Fl/Charlotte NC

Remembering

Post by nacona » Sun Nov 26, 2006 12:08 am

Remembering

Father, I look over
and you are next to me
with your fishing rod clasped
tightly in your hands,
and I trace the transparent line
to where it vanishes
beneath the tree reflected surface.

Hunched over the edge
of your boat, I watch
as the river tide slaps
the side and my reflection
wavers. My face, the trees,
and the cloud-choked
Florida sky ripples
into a Monet reproduction.

The fragrant sea floats
on the breeze, and a Pelican
flies by ocean ward
as if in answer to its call.
I can taste the lemon
iced tea you always bring
in a big silver thermos, and smell
the Doral Cigarettes
that constantly clings to your clothes
as I sit back and close my eyes.

The universe snaps shut into darkness,
and when my eye-lid curtains lift
I am left alone on my back porch
remembering that memory
in a world where you no longer dwell.


11/24/2006
Charlotte, NC
1st Draft

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*I am not sure about this title, I feel that it takes away from the end of the poem. It is a working title so I am open to any suggestions.
"I know how hard it is for you to put food on your family." —Greater Nashua, N.H., Jan. 27, 2000 -George W. Bush

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Angeleyes
Clearwater Poet
Posts: 127
Joined: Tue Oct 24, 2006 4:16 pm
Location: Kentucky

Post by Angeleyes » Sun Nov 26, 2006 5:24 am

nacona,

This is a beautiful memory of a father and son. I can see him standing there with his fishing rod, eyes squinting, because of the bright sun. Reeling it in and then throwing it back out. I can even feel the boat rocking to and fro, caused by the tides ripple. Isn't it funny how a scent (such as Doral cigarettes), and even a song can bring back memories. Nice write. But your writes always are...
:bow: :bow:




:angel:
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~On the edge of this abyss I stand looking into eternity mesmerized by words spoken by you of undescribable beauty~ author {ME}

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Debbie
God's Poetess
Posts: 2266
Joined: Tue Jan 11, 2005 3:40 pm
Location: Ontario Canada

nacona

Post by Debbie » Mon Nov 27, 2006 6:43 am

Great tribute Nacona...love the imagery's...well penned.. :bow: :bow: :bow:
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Reach Out And Love Someone
Slow Down And Look around
You Will Find Someone Who Needs You.....

christina
Clearwater Poet
Posts: 44
Joined: Sat Aug 12, 2006 4:41 pm

Post by christina » Tue Nov 28, 2006 5:56 pm

Very vivid and a creative flow to enhance the
world of your tribute.
Christina

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