Scientists discover new element

Humor and Nonsense, Poetry and Prose. Come on in for a laugh!

Moderators: Spazway, moonflower

Post Reply
User avatar
heinzs
The Fat Cat
Posts: 8419
Joined: Tue Dec 18, 2001 12:01 am
Tag line: Do no harm
Location: Novato, CA
Contact:

Scientists discover new element

Post by heinzs » Fri Mar 06, 2009 9:56 am

found this... good for a laugh

New Element Discovered:

Lawrence Livermore Laboratories has discovered the heaviest element yet known to science. The new element, Governmentium (symbol=Gv), has one neutron, 25 assistant neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons, and 198 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312. These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons.
Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert. However, it can be detected because it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact. A tiny amount of Governmentium can cause a reaction that would normally take less than a second, to take from 4 days to 4 years to complete.
Governmentium has a normal half-life of 2 to 6 years. It does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places. In fact, Governmentium's mass will actually increase over time, since each reorganization will cause more morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes. This characteristic of moron promotion leads some scientists to believe that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a critical concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as critical morass.
When catalyzed with money, Governmentium becomes Administratium (symbol=Ad), an element that radiates just as much energy as Governmentium, since it has half as many peons but twice as many morons.
**************************************
An' it harm none, do what ye will. Blessed Be.
Image
***************************************
My Poet's Page Archive | Topics I've started

jupe
Clearwater Poet
Posts: 32
Joined: Tue Feb 17, 2009 7:01 pm

Re: Scientists discover new element

Post by jupe » Sat Mar 07, 2009 9:10 am

Funny and clever. Yes, morons! :cheers:

User avatar
moonflower
enchanted by the magic
Posts: 2190
Joined: Sun Mar 24, 2002 12:01 am
Location: longview tx

Re: Scientists discover new element

Post by moonflower » Wed Mar 25, 2009 7:13 am

too funny! :grin: ..and true! :thumbsup:
inside each soul there is music...let the music play..

visit my poets page

Image

User avatar
bags123
Insufferable Crouton
Posts: 4700
Joined: Sun Feb 10, 2002 12:01 am
Location: Upstate

Re: Scientists discover new element

Post by bags123 » Fri Mar 27, 2009 8:02 am

:mrgreen:
I prefer to keep an open mind,....but not so much that my brains fall out.- Carl Sagan
Your brain is like an umbrella. It only works when it's open- Someone Smart


Poet of the Month
March 2011

snorple
Seafoam Poet
Posts: 157
Joined: Fri Feb 17, 2006 4:30 am

Re: Scientists discover new element

Post by snorple » Thu Apr 09, 2009 11:07 am

UH, I thought it was an article abut admins there for a momeent, and then I pulled myself together.

User avatar
heinzs
The Fat Cat
Posts: 8419
Joined: Tue Dec 18, 2001 12:01 am
Tag line: Do no harm
Location: Novato, CA
Contact:

Re: Scientists discover new element

Post by heinzs » Thu Apr 09, 2009 7:51 pm

:lol: :lol:
**************************************
An' it harm none, do what ye will. Blessed Be.
Image
***************************************
My Poet's Page Archive | Topics I've started

poeticpiers
Forever Silent Friend
Posts: 766
Joined: Sat Aug 09, 2008 2:08 pm
Location: Near Durham City UK
Contact:

Re: Scientists discover new element

Post by poeticpiers » Mon Jun 08, 2009 2:03 pm

Superb beautifully descriptive of all governments. Complexity baffles scrutiny. The cost increases in direct proportion to the ever expanding number of morons.
Poet of the Month
May, 2011

User avatar
BeeJay
Babbling Brook Poet
Posts: 355
Joined: Mon Feb 05, 2007 9:02 am
Tag line: A Future in Words
Location: Hyderabad India
Contact:

Re: Scientists discover new element

Post by BeeJay » Wed May 19, 2010 11:30 am

bafflingly moronic.--BeeJay
If the Universe was a little smaller , I may just be able to reach out to you. Copyright © 2009 Baru Gobira

Post Reply

Return to “Funny Business”

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 3 guests