I Want A Maid

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Eternum 1
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I Want A Maid

Post by Eternum 1 » Sat Aug 20, 2005 11:55 pm

I should hire myself
a maid
soap my chin
for her to shave

I'd like her
to clean my room
Leave a scent
of her perfume

Strictly a cash transaction
no sexual satisfaction
She might be willin
I'm just chillin

We might share a jest
as she sews buttons
on my vest
give her faded jeans to press

ooh de lay he ooh de layee ooh de layheee!

I'd like to hire a maid
two days off
to get laid
every Friday, she gets paid

I want a maid
to comb my hair
make me feel
a millionaire

Don't care if shes blond
or red
what she does
in her own bed

Just need her to feed
the pets
Serve me beer
thats cold and wet

ooh de lay he ooh de lay he oooh de layheee

Got a lottery ticket
now
If I win you
know how

I'll spend it.
On a limo
and feather pillows
for my maid

No big whoop de do
a simple plan
I'm telling you
I want a maid

ooh de lay he ooh de lay he ooh de layheee :mrgreen:
Last edited by Eternum 1 on Sun Jun 01, 2008 8:02 pm, edited 2 times in total.
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shawn2005
cruel but fair
Posts: 326
Joined: Mon Apr 04, 2005 8:57 pm

Post by shawn2005 » Sun Aug 21, 2005 12:11 am

i want a maid
to serve as rooster and hen
arrive in a timely manner at 6 am
the morning air is so cold
my face is pale and white like a egg
i want.... no for this to work i need a maid
wearing a bunny outfit to sit on my face
oh the sweet warmth!
and with each new dawn i'll be reborn
waking in a timelly manner smilling happilly
along with morning doves in the birch tree in my yard
like a new chick chirping a new song

:mrgreen:



not really...what i really want is to sleep untill 3 pm...and have
tottal silence for about thirty minutes..

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Eternum 1
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Post by Eternum 1 » Sun Aug 21, 2005 12:33 am

:mrgreen:
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bags123
Insufferable Crouton
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Post by bags123 » Sun Aug 21, 2005 12:06 pm

Lonely up there in Canuckistan huh?
I prefer to keep an open mind,....but not so much that my brains fall out.- Carl Sagan
Your brain is like an umbrella. It only works when it's open- Someone Smart


Poet of the Month
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Eternum 1
Black Ferret Poet
Posts: 2112
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Post by Eternum 1 » Sun Aug 21, 2005 6:07 pm

bags123 wrote:Lonely up there in Canuckistan huh?
I so, then it's my fault. I wrote this for banjo and harmonica and sang it at a bonfire on Saturday. Like Zero, the campers added lyrics..most of which can't be reproduced without a nod to the censor.

Gotta work on my yodelling though, my lo de lay hee, lo de lay hee, lo de lay hee had the coyotes laughing in fits. :mrgreen:

ET
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shawn2005
cruel but fair
Posts: 326
Joined: Mon Apr 04, 2005 8:57 pm

Post by shawn2005 » Sun Aug 21, 2005 6:57 pm

sorry for bombing your post ..i felt compelled to write that..i think it was a psychic connection..as you said you sang it to some people
before posting it..you were recalling it as you posted..i picked up on
the static residue left behind of the exsperience..
or maybe it's just a natural reaction everyone has..to the slight
sexual tention well placed in the piece by you.you give someone an inch
and they will always take a mile :mrgreen:

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Eternum 1
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Post by Eternum 1 » Sun Aug 21, 2005 10:47 pm

We're on the metric system up here but offering someone 100 centimeters and having them take 1.6 kilometers seems to lose something in the translation.

No worries Zero, this is the Humor forum and if anyone wants to add to the whimsey here please feel welcome.

ET
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Eternum 1
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Post by Eternum 1 » Thu May 24, 2007 1:22 pm

:cool:
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gordy
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Post by gordy » Thu May 24, 2007 1:25 pm

i need a maid too.........lol
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My Jesus hung out with thieves and sluts and liars, which Jesus do you worship?

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Perfection is my enemy
Procrastination is his cohort
Persistence is my sword

---Gordy

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nekot
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Post by nekot » Fri May 25, 2007 4:01 pm

:lol: :lol: :lol:

Enjoyed immensely!!!


(How much do you pay? :mrgreen:)
~eloquently scattered~
nekot's tokens

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Eternum 1
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Re: I Want A Maid

Post by Eternum 1 » Sun Jun 01, 2008 8:10 pm

You'd have to negotiate remedial compensation with the butler . :devil:
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Eternum 1
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Re: I Want A Maid

Post by Eternum 1 » Sun May 12, 2013 7:22 am

:cool:
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