Looking for title suggestions and any feedback

Love poems and poems of romantic interest (not erotica).

Moderator: Spazway

Forum rules
Love poems and poems of romantic interest (not erotica).
Autoprune 12 months.
Post Reply
User avatar
Mightfall
Clearwater Poet
Posts: 144
Joined: Wed Nov 28, 2007 11:19 pm
Location: Whitehorse, Yukon

Looking for title suggestions and any feedback

Post by Mightfall » Tue Nov 28, 2017 4:42 pm

Come inside this poem
I weave with my embrace
my fingers in your hair
And breath upon your face

[Alternative lines] {Thoughts?]
Your breath upon my face
Your breath touching my face
Your breath brushes my face


Lead me inside the songs
In rhythm with your heart
And too that sound I'll dance
Long after you must depart
"You leapt into the abyss, but find, It only goes up to your knees"... Nick Cave

User avatar
soular
Brain Beach
Posts: 903
Joined: Sat Jan 12, 2002 12:01 am
Tag line: Love and only love
Location: Tokyo
Contact:

Re: Looking for title suggestions and any feedback

Post by soular » Wed Dec 06, 2017 3:27 pm

Mightfall wrote:
Tue Nov 28, 2017 4:42 pm
Come inside this poem
I weave with my embrace
my fingers in your hair
And breath upon your face

[Alternative lines] {Thoughts?]
Your breath upon my face
Your breath touching my face
Your breath brushes my face

Lead me inside the songs
In rhythm with your heart
And too that sound I'll dance
Long after you must depart
I'd choose the bold italic line. I don't know if it fits but "Reverberation" came to me as a title.
I guess I was inspired by this poem or song to write one called "No reason". Thanks much.

User avatar
Mightfall
Clearwater Poet
Posts: 144
Joined: Wed Nov 28, 2007 11:19 pm
Location: Whitehorse, Yukon

Re: Looking for title suggestions and any feedback

Post by Mightfall » Sat Dec 09, 2017 3:09 am

Hi, thank you so much for your feedback

This inspired you to write, that is so... flattering? Did you share it?
"You leapt into the abyss, but find, It only goes up to your knees"... Nick Cave

User avatar
Mightfall
Clearwater Poet
Posts: 144
Joined: Wed Nov 28, 2007 11:19 pm
Location: Whitehorse, Yukon

Re: Looking for title suggestions and any feedback

Post by Mightfall » Sat Dec 09, 2017 3:12 am

Reverbaration is the right concept but I feel like the wrong voice

What about "Resonate"?
"You leapt into the abyss, but find, It only goes up to your knees"... Nick Cave

User avatar
soular
Brain Beach
Posts: 903
Joined: Sat Jan 12, 2002 12:01 am
Tag line: Love and only love
Location: Tokyo
Contact:

Re: Looking for title suggestions and any feedback

Post by soular » Sat Dec 09, 2017 5:23 pm

Mightfall wrote:
Sat Dec 09, 2017 3:12 am
What about "Resonate"?
You seem to have got it so there's nothing more for me to say but how about "Resonance"?

User avatar
Mightfall
Clearwater Poet
Posts: 144
Joined: Wed Nov 28, 2007 11:19 pm
Location: Whitehorse, Yukon

Re: Looking for title suggestions and any feedback

Post by Mightfall » Thu Dec 21, 2017 6:41 am

That is it for sure! Thank You
"You leapt into the abyss, but find, It only goes up to your knees"... Nick Cave

Post Reply

Return to “Love and Romance”

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 12 guests