Shaz

[shaz]

<center> Poetry by shaz </center>

<a name="#top">Table of Contents</a>
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<a href="#001"> 3...2...1... . </a>
<a href="#002"> Lifetime Debt </a>
<a href="#003"> Inconsistent them </a>
<a href="#004"> The Search from Within </a>
<a href="#005"> Bitten </a>
<a href="#006"> Time </a>
<a href="#007"> Untitled</a>
<a href="#008"> Who We Are </a>
<a href="#009"> Mistake </a>
<a href="#010"> Sparky </a>
<a href="#011"> Destructive Aggression Vents Emotion </a>
<a href="#012"> The Day Has Come </a>
<a href="#013"> My Crowded Black Hole </a>
<a href="#014"> Just Listen </a>
<a href="#015"> These are Our Days </a>
<a href="#016"> Dad </a>
<a href="http://www.poetrypages.com/phpBB2/viewt ... 15#017">[b] Bro' [/b]</a>
<a href="http://www.poetrypages.com/phpBB2/viewt ... 15#018">[b] Who We Are [/b]</a>
<a href="http://www.poetrypages.com/phpBB2/viewt ... 15#019">[b] Lifetime Debt [/b]</a>
<a href="http://www.poetrypages.com/phpBB2/viewt ... 15#020">[b] Mama [/b]</a>
<a href="http://www.poetrypages.com/phpBB2/viewt ... 15#021">[b] Crazy World [/b]</a>
<a href="http://www.poetrypages.com/phpBB2/viewt ... 15#022">[b] FOR ALL THE SMILES AND LIES. [/b]</a>
<a href="http://www.poetrypages.com/phpBB2/viewt ... 15#023">[b] Free [/b]</a>
<a href="http://www.poetrypages.com/phpBB2/viewt ... 15#024">[b] Soul Incarnations [/b]</a>
<a href="http://www.poetrypages.com/phpBB2/viewt ... 15#025">[b] Mirrored [/b]</a>
<a href="http://www.poetrypages.com/phpBB2/viewt ... 15#026">[b] Matt [/b]</a>
<a href="http://www.poetrypages.com/phpBB2/viewt ... 15#027">[b] Share You-Me [/b]</a>
<a href="http://www.poetrypages.com/phpBB2/viewt ... 15#028">[b] Re-edited [/b]</a>
<a href="http://www.poetrypages.com/phpBB2/viewt ... 15#029">[b] Secret Songs [/b]</a>
<a href="http://www.poetrypages.com/phpBB2/viewt ... 15#030">[b] Core-uption [/b]</a>
<a href="http://www.poetrypages.com/phpBB2/viewt ... =15#thirty two"> Nathandial's Fridge </a>
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<a name="#001"> 3...2...1... . </a>

Falling towards the darkness - See the dot of
Light grow smaller and smaller still, till
It can be seen,
No more.
See the world - see everything,
See every point of view,
Falling - arms ready to receive,
What is inevitably to come.
But still, still hanging on,
Still determined not to
Let go.
Mind in conflict -
Two halves collide.
Mind - being pulled towards
The Darkness, unknown, but feet -
Steadfast on the ground,
Held up high, suspended in time,
The moment still, never to
End.
Frozen.

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[shaz]

<a name="#002"> Lifetime Debt </a>

She sits alone in a smokey room
And stares at her eternal doom,
Knowing how it started, not how it'll end -
Trying hard to make her broken heart mend.

People always told her to be good,
To listen to her parents as she should.
But she was happy and her mind was free -
Just how she always dreamed one day it would be.

She didn't know her luck had gone away,
Didn't know she would see this day,
Lost the feelings she thought she felt -
Lost the cards she had been delt.

She looks again, like a small child,
Sweet, innocent, carefree and mild,
Tried to live out her childhood dream.
Learnt that dreams aren't always as they seem.

She didn't know it would turn this way,
That for her love she would have to pay.
"It's not fair", she said to me.
I said to her, "What will be, will be."

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[shaz]

<a name="#003"> Inconsistent them </a>

Just a little bit of loving,
A little praise or hug,
A well done kiss or a little pride,
That's all I really want.

Working hard everyday of my life,
Always doing it for Them,
But They don't realise, don't want to know,
That I lost all respect for Them.

To have a drive, a reason why,
Then maybe I'd understand,
But all I do is live my life,
And that's reason enough for Them.

I wish, I wish to have some care,
From those who gave me life,
I exist as They do but have no reality,
When will I be safe - When won't I be scared?

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_________________________________

<a name="#004"> The Search from Within </a>

I've been away for a while, but now I'm back with a whole new batch of poems. Read on.


Like reading words from a piece of paper,
Love is read form the heart,
In black and white, as clear to see -
But we cloud our sight with what our minds try to be.

Always ignoring the pure wisdom of the heart,
We try to reason with our heads,
In a futile attept to gain clarity and knowledge,
We bury our core, our saviour too far to reach.

Underestimated? Or do we just not have the time?
With a little effort we'd find quick answers -
In the heart. But the head is the logical one,
ANd logic holds us down.

And as we learn and we create beliefs,
We close the door to truth,
We became trapped in cycles, ignorance and 'peace',
If we looked, we'd see the reality - the mess we created to live.

I look at people who try to be 'at one',
I watch their futile attepts fail, and they call,
But it's too late to connect because they've built a fanciful wall,
I watch them with a tear in my eye,
I watch him crumble, destroy his beautiful soul.

THe clarity he search for was there,
He searched the wrong crossroad, walked further away,
It hurts that I tried, suceeded and let go,
Hurts to realise he's not the person I know.

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[shaz]

<a name="#005"> Bitten </a>

I wish I could remember when it was true,
All those beliefs you now enforce on me,
Those memories you try to implant in my mind,
Invaded by you, my soul slowly dies.

Falsehood beckons in the coldest eyes,
They show no compassion - How?
How can you not see what you are doing now?
You use your eyes to close,you don't see.

Dry seas pretend to fall from your eyes,
And they fill my hollow heart which
Cries for thirst to quench it's yearn,
It cries for lust, for heavy tears of gold.

I wish I could remember the truth,
Ethics, love, reason lost along the way,
They drowned in the falsehood of you,
In the tale you live to tell.

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[shaz]

<a name="#006"> Time </a>

time, taker of all that is:
your river flows always
throughout our days
a continuous, unbroken
mirroring surface
that holds no trace of us
as that flow passes and passes
we rest in changing
NEVERENDING

time takes away and returns
the world's beauty, the rich days
without beginning or end
increasing your collection
of man-skulls
to which you will add mine
and tally all our lives
(each rich in its infinite present)
NOTHING

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[shaz]

<a name="#007"> Untitled</a>

"It's all in the soul",
I thought that's what I heard you say,
But it seems that more and more
It's to do with every way:

The way I talk, it's too common for you,
The clothes I wear, not too much skin I show,
The way I laugh, it doesn't match yours,
It just seems I'm wrong.

The more I watch, I see your lies grow and grow,
You used to have a mind now you're corrupted and shallow.
I watch as you change and you don't see how you forget,
You forget who you are, the way you should be now.

People change, I know you will too,
But you told me it was for the better you never saw.
It's all materials now, It's the only thing that shows,
The secret that we used to hide, we can no longer show.

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[shaz]

<a name="#008"> Who We Are </a>

Look at me now! Do I look the same?
Do you see a naive young girl now?
Do you see the tears in my heart?
Or the scratch on my soul?
Look at me! Don't turn away -
Face me now and explain.

Look in my eyes and tell me your lies,
Can you face the truth? See what you've made of me?
Do you see into my mind - can you see past my eyes?
Face up to me - tell me why,
Tell me how you could do it.
Look at me - Dare you?
Catch my gaze.

Look at my stance - Not going to stand down to you,
I refuse to let you win again; I refuse to let you in.
Who do you see when you're in front of me?
Who do you lie to - me?
Or won't you face the truth?
The truth of yourself, You're not so big,
Who's the stronger of the two?

Who's got the courage to start again and defend her heart?
Who seeks endless questions through deceit and pretence?
Try to hurt me now. I'm not going to look down.
Eye to Eye, Look at me. Who am I now?

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[shaz]

<a name="#009"> Mistake </a>

It's over, ended in the way it should,
The way I always knew it would,
In the only way it could,
It's Over.
It's all gone now,
Left us forever,
Never to return,
Never gonna come back,
It's all gone now.
Once again, I remember,
I feel and hear you near,
I remenicse over our night together,
Never again, I can only remember.
I hope you'll be happy,
She'll show you all the love in the world,
I hope you won't forget me,and how I cared only for you.
Darling, Love, Sweetheart, My One,
I would give my all only to be with you,
Once again, us together,
I remember then, now - It's Over.

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[shaz]

<a name="#010"> Sparky </a>

Yellow moonlight shines into your eyes,
You blink the tears away and hide,
In an effort to keep the peace,
You suffer in silence - watching alone.
And all that time that I denied,
And I hurt you, cut you up inside,
Because I thought I perceived too much,
Convinced myself it wasn't true...
And as I watched, I saw you smile,
Again you hide that wanting pain,
But I know - we both do,
That dreams always eventually come true.

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[shaz]

<a name="#011"> Destructive Aggression Vents Emotion </a>

I guess I didn't realise exactly how much I care,
I just don't want to see you hurting again,
It's weird - I hardly know your surface or core,
I only know the things you saw.

I thought about you - your surface, core and in-between,
Because you made me laugh then intrigued,
And as I read your thoughts, I smiled or cried,
I guess it was cool to share all that was inside.

I feel like I have a reason now,
Those thoughts I thought and hid from them all,
Years of burning to release it all - to someone,
Who doesn't have to try, who just accepts and understands.

And whether your acquaintance will be fleeting or last,
I don't care because your memory is in my heart,
Realise it or not, you're part of my fate,
So much feel comfortable, loose connections ignite.

I'm not saying our souls need to know,
I'm not asking for any love,
All I do is let you hear me, and I listen too,
I just thank you for who you are - I was meant to meet you.

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[shaz]

<a name="#012"> The Day Has Come </a>

One day,
I'm going to be famous - just watch me,
I'm going to be know, going to be heard,
I'm going to speak, stand up and be known,
People are going to listen to me, I'm going to change the world.
Someday,
People are going to heed my words,
They'll teach me and in teaching learn,
We'll touch each soul that loses light -
And together we can change the world.
Tomorrow,
I'm going to travel - broaden each cell, each bone,
I'm going to meet the people who give inspiration to grow,
I'm going to touch each life that touches me,
And I'll watch as they do the same and One Love will grow.
Sooner,
I'm going to be famous - just watch me,
My voice will be heard, will be seen,
I'm going to give all - and in giving, Learn,
I'll die an inspiration if just to one.
Today,
I'm going to make a difference,
People will be intrigued,
I'm going to light an infinite candle,
Light the whole world,
I'm going to make it happen. Now.

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[shaz]

<a name="#013"> My Crowded Black Hole </a>

I see nothing in everything,
And everything is in nothing,
I'm over stimulated - focus on all,
As I'm pulled away into mind's dark world.

I'm out of control, but I'm trying, keep trying,
My mind and body snaps apart - releases my soul,
It floats away as I watch and try and hold,
Slips through my fingers - I can only let go.

I watch my body do what it has to,
I watch my mind try to allow,
I feel it all flow through and out,
In the darkness - nothing hurts in the lead heavy light.

Snapped together and my everything bolts,
Scared, overreact, but I'm trying to keep a hold,
Comes together and I carry on like before,
Wait again for my safe black hole.

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[shaz]

<a name="#014"> Just Listen </a>

I told y'all why I left,
I explained in a sea of tears,
I explained through mediators and friends,
And still I try and try again.

I told y'all how I felt,
But y'all chose not to believe,
If I could tell you all, tell you everything,
I've got a feeling you'd still not see.

I told y'all how much I cried,
I tried to show you why,
But I've become a selfish bitch,
Y'all wish I'd just die.

It'll probably be better then,
No more spoilt subjective brat,
No more letting the side down,
No more stress or heartache.

I told y'all how lonely I was,
But none of you had time to listen,
You've showed yourselves exactly why,
And still you chose blissful, guiltless ignorance.

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[shaz]

<a name="#015"> These are Our Days </a>

Little world within a world,
It revolves around the sun,
Our seasons ever changing,
Always the season of fun.

Little mountain of gale force and sun,
We climb to the summit each day,
Our mission: Accept and be one,
We laugh and smoke young days away.

Little world within a world,
So many familiar faces,
Moan and groan - routine sucks,
We love it, hope we'll never learn.

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[shaz]

<a name="#016"> Dad </a>

Dad, you're just a person,
I thought you were a hero,
I never thought you'd grow so frail,
I never saw you weak enough to hurt.

Dad, you're only human,
Don't try to be any more,
To us you're a magician,
You always seemed to know the score.

Dad, you've lived your life,
Doing as you always thought best,
And Dad you've always helped us,
Now it's your turn, get some rest.

Dad, I see you clearly,
You've grown old, and weak, and frail,
But the strength you carried inside you,
Exists in me and Naz and Tem.

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