Raven Aurora

[Raven Aurora]

<a name="#016"> Ordinary Girl </a>

note: I wrote this for a friend who felt oppressed by her family and the straitlaced ideals of society....

Heaven forbid that she who loves
And holds the world in her palms
Ever feels the sting of loneliness;
For those who befriend this soul
Know of her unconditional kindness
But scorn any nuance of depression;
With her, sorrow must never exist
She is the center of many worlds
Created by multitudes of admirers,
None of whom understand desolation
Either she is an object of much envy
Or ridicule from lurking adversaries
Pressure for perfection burdens her,
At times it becomes too much to bear;
Often there's nowhere to turn but within
When not sharing her strength and love
Like often is expected of her by others,
Retrogression releases old memories
Filling her with the few solid joys
In her young life of flawless sorrow
Her bestowed role all but overwhelms her;
So many days pass when she deeply wishes
To revisit those times of childhood
When she was just an ordinary girl.

Raven Aurora

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[Raven Aurora]

<a name="#017"> Colorblind </a>

Humanity descended from one origin;
Blood flows crimson regardless of source,
Yet to some, the very traits we all share
Prove insignificant as our common ground
Why can't the world learn to be colorblind?
Just because one may take a bodily form
With fair skin, golden tresses and light eyes,
Does this allow such persons any preference
Over those born with earthly flesh tones?
Lack of understanding can breed ignorance;
You have no superiority over those like me
Condemnation sputters from wretched lips,
Damn us to hell and back for all of eternity
But never open your mind to different opinions
Simply because you refuse to change with time
Rigidity in belief never allowed one to succeed
In the kind of era which makes continual progress;
Tell me how much good would it benefit you
If your kind was being discriminated against?
Learn to adapt to a progressive environment;
Fewer people heed the criteria of former days,
Color codes are now obsolete pieces of rubbish
External features offer very little information...
Besides, why should someone's skin color matter?

note: this is (one of my many) takes on racism and how wrong I think this is... I hope you like this even if you don't agree with my opinion.

Raven Aurora

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[Raven Aurora]

<a name="#018"> Join Me In Death </a>

note: I wrote this both for me and a friend of mine, whose grandfathers had passed; mine died before Thanksgiving last year, and hers perished during Christmas. my prespective is that of a person who already passed. enjoy...

Always watching from above,
I see your many glistening tears
Shed in grief to mourn me;
Yet I have safely arrived now
To the other side that some fear,
Removed from earthly suffering
That caused us all great sorrow
But cry no more, dearest one;
Cherish the moments we shared
During my time upon the planet
And do not regret for a moment
Our many trials and tribulations,
For they served as lessons taught;
Growth is a continual life process
We all must face at some point
My passing does not at all mark
Beginnings to the end of the world;
Expiration brings about new births
So do not abhor what is inevitable,
One day, you'll also walk this path
Joining me in death from earth
And biding your time ever patiently
Until our judgement day arrives,
For only then do we learn our fate;
Whether we suffer condemnation
Or pass through the pearly gates.

Raven Aurora

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[Raven Aurora]

<a name="#019"> Great Expectations </a>

note: sometimes I feel pressured to live up to the standards everyone else seems to set for me; this is a light rant against it.

Even before arrival into the world,
During the months preceding birth
Someone was predicting my future
And placing me upon high pedestals
Which appear in many ways undeserved
They said I would grow to be pretty,
Smarter than the forerunners in class;
Let no one neglect a prospect of success
But all this divination into one's life
Can break someone down beforehand

You all expect far too much of me;
One person can only be pushed enough
Before reaching their breaking point;
Stop setting these unrealistic criteria
For acceptance into a straitlaced world
I can't grow and form my own identity
Since you've already created a persona;
At least give me some breathing space
Maybe my desire is not to fit the mold,
But find internal peace of mind elsewhere

All I want while in this lone existence
Is the freedom to pursue my dreams;
Living up to someone else's standards
Will never be easy to achieve for me
Great expectations aren't as they seem;
The average person has not the strength
Nor willpower to attempt such a feat
Becoming society's slave isn't an option;
I refuse to exist as a paper mannequin
Bending to the will of other people.

Raven Aurora

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[Raven Aurora]

<a name="#020"> Cold Blood </a>

note: yesterday I received a message that rocked my core... I guess it put me in a weird mood and pushed me to write this:

Standing in ambient darkness,
My blood runs cold, congealing
The well of my soul grows dry
Now that you're turning your back
On the life and power I've given

Somewhere in haunted shadows
Parts of my heart lay fractured,
Bits and pieces of who I once was
Yet that life is now gone from me;
I perished when you walked away

Frozen within, my spirit sleeps;
Vapor sublimates off the semblance
Who I once could always recognize,
But she is another mere stranger
Sculpted into an icy apparition

I reach out, hoping you'll reach back
Even though you can't see or feel me;
Curse circumstance for this distance
Holding and pushing us further apart
Daily, my core fades into nothingness

Must I be condemned forevermore
To this sickening realm of loneliness?
Right now I don't want to be here,
Enthralled inside this wretched body
Crying out, I beseech liberation

All I want is to hear your whisper
Or feel the lively prickle of a kiss,
Remind me that love hasn't fled;
Only you can revive me so deeply,
The life among this awful perdition.

Raven Aurora

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[Raven Aurora]

<a name="#021"> Everyone Else </a>

note: this is a light rant against "popular culture". Just my thoughts, but you may leave your comments if you wish.

So many people follow the trends
Set by nobody named in particular;
The adolescents of today are packaged,
Products of society's cosmopolitan values
But none seem to claim individuality
For fear that it might make them targets
Of constant ridicule and possible ousting
From a coveted position in the in crowd;
My challenge is to break that cycle...
Ordinary and average are never used
To refer to such modern day renegades
Who blaze their own uncharted path
Instead of following popularity's flock
Don't bow down to ever-changing fads
Although mainstream fancies are whimsical,
Your unique flair will be set in stone
Differences make us all who we truly are
Why give in to the desires of others?
I refuse to be like everyone else;
Society won't make a zombie out of me
Never will I break my neck to fit in
When the in crowd couldn't give a damn
About anyone's wants in the long run...
Respect me for who I would like to be.

Raven Aurora

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[Raven Aurora]

<a name="#022"> Shape of My Heart </a>

Can you see what's in my eyes?
All the things I've tried to hide?

Do you know of the lies I've told,
Or the emotions I keep frozen cold?

Have you heard of the tears that burn
After I've had a lesson so hard to learn?

For what have I attempted to care
When the one I love is never there?

Is it you who inflicts such awful pain?
Will you endure the incessant rain?

Who can read the sadness in my face
And transport themselves to a lonely place?

Do your sharp eyes see deep inside me?
Can you offer me a glimpse of liberty?

Trace the battered shape of my heart
Tell me, do you feel how it's fallen apart?

Can your ears sense the tears I cry?
Are your feelings moved to wonder why?

Because even as you hurt me, I confess
I've always loved you, and I will nevertheless.

note: I wrote this to an ex of mine, who I still keep in contact with...sometimes. It was published (supposedly) in an anthology compiled by the International Library of Poetry.

But if you ever want to see my work in a book, buy it from me...not them...don't pay the price they're asking. I'll charge much less.

Raven Aurora

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[Raven Aurora]

<a name="#023"> My Own Worst Enemy </a>

question: anyone else besides me having low self-esteem issues? that's the subject this stems from.

Never could do a damn thing right,
Pitiful and disgusting in my own sight

Believing everyone else's redundant lies,
Always finding the smallest fault to criticize

My unspoken thoughts strewn like litter,
Past situations seek to make me bitter

And while I feel I have nothing to hide,
Emptiness has taken its grip inside

Constant insults I've learned to appreciate;
The spirit within is now an object of hate

Aim to toss your sticks and stones;
Maybe they will crush my brittle bones

Loathing and despair are what I feel each day;
Never do I succeed in chasing these feelngs away

Highly revered in the loving eyes of some,
Why can I not accept this person I've become?

Anguish often leaves me desperate to die;
Feeling hopeless, I lose it all in the tears I cry

Whoever hears my plea, please rescue me....
I have succeeded in becoming my own worst enemy.

Raven Aurora

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[Raven Aurora]

<a name="#024"> Poetic Justice </a>

If my pen was a pistol
Or my words were bullets
I would slay you on paper
And bury you in writing
Avenging in my thoughts
Those who were mistreated

Pencils are like daggers
Expressions become swords
With which I right the wrong
In my fiercest outcries
Against the evils of the world
Surrounding us all today

History can be recorded
Through the eyes of another,
But I sculpt the near future
With only pencil and paper
For such is the divine power
Of a writer's poetic justice.

note: I felt compelled to post this today for some strange reason...

Raven Aurora

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[Raven Aurora]

<a name="#025"> Nineteen Years of Sorrow </a>

Nineteen long years of pure sorrow,
Thousands of days when I've prayed
Never again to see another tomorrow

From my kindred I've since strayed
A different identity I wish to borrow,
Just so this present life will fade

Must my worthless existence continue
In such deep, everlasting, heavy misery?
Father, there's nothing I wouldn't give you

To finally perish and be set free
I've tried so hard; what else can I do
When mainstream society has rejected me?

Cinders of criticism remain on the inside,
My spirit is wounded by a black hole
Because of the pain, I feel like I've died

Hollowness engulfs the rest of my soul
So many bitter, fiery tears I've cried;
Torment and anguish have taken their toll

Infinite moments pass while I have to fend
For myself; yet there's no more strength left
My heart would be impossible to mend

Poor in spirit, I am undoubtedly bereft
And what joy it would be to finally end
The sadness that forces me to invite death.

note: this was written sometime early last year...it was one of my very first stabs at a form of poetry called tersa rima... although I think I only halfway achieved my goal, since I never seem to be able to write in iambic pentameter. oh well... it sounds better without the foot/meter restrictions anyway!

Raven Aurora

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[Raven Aurora]

<a name="#026"> Metamorphosis </a>

Growing up, I changed greatly,
Part for better, part for worse;
Outside I stand tall and stately,
Within, pieces of me disperse
I was born a child of imperfection,
To spectators once viewed as ugly;
Now as I regard my reflection,
Loveliness stares back at me
Each day I endeavored to learn
All the mysteries of this world;
Battles progress while I earn
My keep as another ordinary girl
Family nurtured my whole being,
Giving lessons in ways they know;
One day with the others disbelieving,
I would become the proof they show
Of a woman with little lacking;
Creative, humorous and yet smart
With a blessed aura as my backing
And a generous, altruistic heart
Despite many dire past situations,
Life gave me a proper synthesis;
Passing years serve as confirmations
Of my continual daily metamorphosis.

note: this speaks of the "phases" of life I went through...although no two people's lives fall out the same way, everyone changes somewhere down the line. I hope you can relate...

Raven Aurora

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[Raven Aurora]

<a name="#027"> Knight In Shining Armor </a>

note: it's not about anyone in particular, just some icon of what the "ideal" mate would be to me.

He is the one I most desire,
My knight in shining armor
A man who haunts my dreams,
Creeping across every thought
Raven waves cascade over eyes
Piercing and darker than night,
Roving my form with languor;
Fiery ripples dance through me
In waves of want and necessity
Crashing over tempestuous nerves

He is a champion of my cause,
Always watching me from afar
But guarding both body and heart;
I dedicate myself solely to him
For with a single touch of his lips
Part of me surrendered everything
The slightest gaze compells me fully
To seek refuge in those strong arms
And remain there for all eternity,
Never allowing our love to slip away

He is all I could ever wish for;
Strength and benevolence combined
Create this angel in corporal form;
No more drifting through the abyss
My wishes have finally come true
As I have become the grand recipient
Of heaven's greatest gift to earth:
One who acceps me in entirety
Despite my many imperfections;
Truly, a spirit to be venerated.

Raven Aurora

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[Raven Aurora]

<a name="#028"> Downward Spiral </a>

Today I crash into the downward spiral,
From the rest of the world I fall behind
My motives shall remain forever hidden,
Closely guarded in the back of my mind
Numerous uphill skirmishes drain me,
I fall bonelessly to the chilled ground
Silence encompasses the atmosphere,
Reigning as the loudest of harsh sounds
Promises were all I've ever been given,
Each one masked a cold, bitter lie....
All were jagged daggers flung to the soul
Slowly causing me to wither away and die
This very day the sun refuses to shine,
Only eternal darkness and heavy strife
Spread quickly like a black shroud above me,
Posing threats of destruction to my life
Relinquishing the remainder of my powers
I fade into the many dark shadows of day
While tempestuous waves pull me ever under
Until spirit and willpower are stripped away.

note: I remember being close to the brink of a breakdown when I wrote this. I've tried everything to not see life this way...but it seems no matter what's said or done, my life still feels like a downward spiral.

Raven Aurora

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[Raven Aurora]

<a name="#029"> Imaginary Refuge </a>

Away from this chaotic world,
My mind created its own realm
To protect me from the sorrows
Enveloping this vulnerable place
Where I am forced to reside;
Only the harmonies of songbirds
And whispers on breathless wind
Soothe long interred horror
Now inhabiting a blackened spirit
Eternally struggling to break free

Your life only exists outwardly;
Much of this time, my body lives
But I walk with a perished soul,
For I've turned my back on it all
Goodbye to you, earth; time to resign,
Take all your brutality and cynicism
And go dump it on someone else!
Running away is my only solution;
I retreat to the haven inside myself,
The only place left where I am safe

Here, my mind can still protect me
From the cold pessimism of harsh reality;
Surrounded by silken pastures of gold
Which border silver clouds on the horizon,
I call this home for hours or even days
At times when naught external can reach
The outskirts of my imaginary refuge;
Ubiquitous darkness acts as the shield
Holding me away from perpetual pain
And block the voices screaming my name

Swallowed by my misty depths,
Brilliant crimson sun pours itself
Through the pink sky gently hovering;
Rain pelts the outer realm with woe,
But I've grown numb to its sensation
I choose not to awaken in their darkness;
Escape was my last route of survival
For I'll never flourish in earthly time,
So with this place I created mentally
I will remain for all known eternity.

note: this one is sorta twisted--I couldn't decide whether to set it here or in the dark side forum. I got the idea from a song...

Raven Aurora

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[Raven Aurora]

<a name="#030"> Slaughter </a>

note: this is my take on how it feels to be outcasted twice in a lifetime...

Lead me to my slaughter,
All those who despise me
Since your cruel intentions
Have gotten the better of you;
For every single wrongdoing,
Cut me with your tongues
Vituperative and vengeful,
Wound my damaged psyche
More than what's been done
Yes, I am the hated spirit;
Some have legitimate reason,
Others only unjust causes
But this is my punishment,
The halt to my golden reign
Now as I am being ejected
I find solace in lonely exile
My darkest hour of epiphany
Has come to pass in time;
Again I find myself in
Uncomfortable circumstances,
Because events have circled
Right back to where I started;
Once a virtual, solo stranger
Then the epicenter of existence,
Now a nobody in faded memory
Returning to ashes and dust.

Raven Aurora

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