Raven Aurora

[Raven Aurora]

<a name="031">If You Knew</a>

note: it's one of my earlier works...bear with me...

If you know everything that I know,
Would you use my knowledge against me?

If you knew that I had been trapped,
Would you come to help set me free?

If you knew I would go blind,
Would you serve as my faithful guide?

If you knew I had buried treasure,
Would you search for the things I hide?

If I told you my darkest secret,
Could I trust you never to tell?

If I told you that we'd meet in heaven,
Could you endure this life that is hell?

If I told you of your wondrous talent,
Could you utilize your precious gift?

If I told you that I'm here for you,
Could I expect your spirits to lift?

If I offered to lend you my shoulder,
Would you be chagrined and afraid to cry?

If I offered to give you all the answers,
Would you ever again question why?

If I offered you my companionship,
Would you accept me as your friend?

If I offered to perish in your place,
Would you love me until the very end?

Raven Aurora

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[Raven Aurora]

<a name="#thirty two"> Personal Conversation </a>

Someone stopped to inquire:
In all truth, who are you?
Reveal to me what's inside,
Tell me of your unknown origin...

To which I replied:
I am the one least noticed;
A soul filled with darkness
Which formed from nothing...

A person saw me and asked:
Why the sadness in your eyes?
Do you inhabit such shadows,
Or has someone caused you pain?

To which I replied:
Darkness envelops my heart;
Sorrow appears to be self inflicted,
Yet none outside understand...

One day another questioned:
How do you express emotions?
Are there reasons for the words
Spoken from your inner soul?

To which I replied:
My frustration is taken out
Using only pencils and tablets;
Words substantiate my being

Strangers often wonder:
She seems a female of integrity;
Does she possess real fortitude,
Is her life one of pretense?

To which I respond:
Yes, I live with blunt honesty;
Why falsify my outer shell?
I am above those base levels...

Outsiders may ruminate:
Either which way the wind blows,
She always remains on solid ground;
Fighting, but for what... independence?

To which I respond:
Autonomy garners much respect;
Never will I need male specimens
Just for the sake of being happy...

My enemies often think:
No, her apathy is all just an act,
Everyone has flaws and pitfalls;
But how do we break her barriers?

To which I respond:
Naysayers would believe as such,
Yet when have you ever known me
To care about the opinions of others?

note: it's kinda long... just a bunch of questions people have asked me quite frequently... perhaps I should call it "Raven's FAQ?" lol...

Raven Aurora

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[Raven Aurora]

<a name="#thirty three"> Pain </a>

Buried in the shadows
Lay a long deceased soul,
One whose tears still flow
Into a bottomless black hole

Often living with heavy scorn
And the target of others' disdain,
This spirit grew sad and forlorn
Never able to dispel her pain

Unlike the world, she saw no light;
Giving in, she turned away and cried
No one outside of her lonely sight
Comprehended the emptiness inside

While alive, solace meant a knife
And slashing herself for all to see;
Each wound stole shreds of life
As her sacred blood flowed free

Misunderstood and utterly alone
In a world where she couldn't win,
She figured her sacrifice would atone
For all of society's careless sin

Maybe this was her only chance
To experience true freedom or release;
With fate her flesh would dance,
Slowly the life within began to cease

She roams the realm of the dead,
By her own hand found slain;
Yet still by many it's been said
Her spirit grieves in deep pain.

note: it's an outsider's view of suicide... kinda the way I'm feeling right about now.

Raven Aurora

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[Raven Aurora]

<a name="#thirty four"> In My Skin </a>

note: it's about learning to accept yourself for who you are, despite what everyone else says. it took me a hell of a long time to do that...

I've come to terms with myself,
Embracing the flesh I was born in
As opposed to forever abhorring it...
Cinnamon skin does not make me
Ugly, stupid, or other hateful words
Enemies hurl without conviction

Thick, curly hair, dark brown eyes;
Atributes that compose the real me
Both inside and out, stand on display
Nothing fake can touch my actuality;
From lineaments to unspoken quirks,
Everything here is uniquely natural

What does a few extra pounds hurt?
Being voluptuous has no criminal charge;
Individuality alters the mind and soul
Mimicking others was never my style
So I will not mold to fit some image
Or attempt suicide to grow stick thin

Whatever I'm not, isn't meant for me,
No need in pretending or hiding away;
Learning to accept my whole existence
Despite its many flaws and shortcomings
Proved to be a difficult, thorough process,
But I am comfortable in my own skin.

Raven Aurora

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[Raven Aurora]

<a name="#thirty five" > One Kiss </a>

question: is it possible to rekindle the love you once lost? something makes me think so...

Although I care for you, I refuse to give in
Don't make me fall in love with you again
You've always had the power to sway my heart,
But I'm not strong enough to keep from falling apart
Inside my poor heart has been twice slain;
No longer can I pretend immunity to the pain
Even as I battle the tears, and I damnedly try,
Only God knows my struggle when I begin to cry
Despair will strike again; and because this is true,
My heart declines the offer, coercing me to spurn you
But why, after all this time, do you tempt me so?
Raw wounds within are more painful than you know
While I admit: the passion and warmth I miss,
Yet nothing will change just because of one kiss
Truth reveals itself the moment our lips meet;
Heat spirals through my limbs, down to my feet
Once again, this time you've managed to prove me wrong,
Love remains steadfast; yet it had been so long
I believed in my soul you didn't care anymore,
Now I see our affection is even stronger than before
Who would have thought one kiss could reunite?
A single moment in time dissolved my bitter spite
You have done the improbable, forcing me to give in,
Knowing that deep inside, I would love you again.

Raven Aurora

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[Raven Aurora]

<a name="#thirty six"> Remember When </a>

note: this was one of my earlier works...rather heartbreaking, though, since it's about rejection.

Remember when
You used to love me?
I gave my body and soul,
Sacrificing all desires
Only for the one
Who had claimed my heart
That was you alone
But just months later,
Another came along
Capturing your attention
And destroying our love
That one single day
Tore our entire world apart
It would only be moments
Before I became history,
Ruled out of your life
Until eternity passed over
Now all I have left of you
Are these painful memories,
Reflections in the water
Brought to life by my tears
How I wish for invincibility,
Or to have a heart of stone
So as to block away the pain
Like a dagger to the heart
My soul bled with desolation
When you suddenly walked away....
Remember when?

Raven Aurora

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[Raven Aurora]

<a name="#thirty seven"> Lost Soul </a>

With no home to call my own
And having to face my life alone
I roam the dry, deserted streets
On weary, blistered, sore feet
For months I haven't seen the day;
At night it's hard to find my way
Likely the path of bad luck I crossed;
Am I doomed to be eternally lost?

Throughout my life I grew up confused,
Often despised and always abused
Never once daring to open up my heart
For fear that others would tear it apart
In life it seems that I have no place;
Constantly I float around in space
Like leaves tossed about by autumn wind;
The void deep in my soul has no end

Sometimes I pause to glance high above;
Tears fall when I remember misplaced love
Pretenders feigned what they felt for me,
Perhaps I should be grateful to finally be free
Yet surely this isn't life, but punishment;
Heavy burden for a previous life ill spent
I can only pray one can fill the hole
Sinking the spirit of this lone, lost soul.

note: at this time, my soul is lost...drifting...troubled. I decided to share my feelings at the very moment.

Raven Aurora

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[Raven Aurora]

<a name="#thirty eight"> Dark Moonshine </a>

note: I originally wrote this about last month's lunar eclipse, which I'd been inspired by since it doesn't occur often... I haven't written that much about nature but I think I will more often now...

Stepping into earth's shadow,
The dark side of the moon
Now reveals her secret face,
Holding the night in suspension;
Unseen spirits awaken to emerge
From their home in the underworld
To roam through evanescent streets
When all is pure in night's shroud

In these moments, even the inanimate
Breathe new life into themselves;
Every entity regenerates partially,
Growing out of their ancient shells
And embracing a fleeting environment
Which must pass on with the eclipse
Once shadows dissipate into vapor,
Returning night's natural lantern

Apparitions of imagination appear,
But fade as a blackened moon dies
Since the intimate uncovering of self
Only persists a few mere moments
Earth's midnight glory settles back
Into its normal, structured routine
After the facade perishes into the air
Where silver light reigns once more.

Raven Aurora

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[Raven Aurora]

<a name="#thirty nine"> Rage Against Society </a>

note: this is about not tolerating the ills of this day and age...

I will no longer bend
To another man's will;
My body bears the scars
Fostered by hate and abuse
Hidden for far too long,
I am not some property
Others can purchase and barter;
Simply because of femininity
Supposedly I am a member of
The fairer, yet weaker gender
And my richly colored skin
Gives lighter people the right
To disenfranchise my spirit?
Enough is more than enough!
I grow tired of the snubs
Made toward me for no reason;
Society can never mold me
Into what it prefers that I be,
And so it callously rejects
Whoever decides not to comply...
Hell no! I will never go!
Feel my heated, active rage;
You fill naive minds with junk,
Expecting them to openly conform
When your values are worthless
Not everyone is meant to fit
Clothing created for the rail-thin,
Nor is each person blessed to have
All of the exact same traits;
Some were given ethereal beauty,
Others gained wit and intellect,
Few received charismatic demeanors
But I am thoroughly ill
Living in this intolerant world;
Popular is but a picayune word
Used to describe life's zombies
Who would rather become sheep
As opposed to thinking themselves
Certainly never me, though...
I constantly rage against society.

Raven Aurora

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[Raven Aurora]

<a name="#forty two"> Discouraged </a>

Being born of a world
That despises imperfection,
I was raised to believe
That I could do nothing right
Early on I bowed to every whim
Of man, nature and society
So I grew up inadequate
And so very discouraged
Why must I keep going?
I wonder day by day
Does such misery have an end?
But I suppose I'll never know
Sitting in the corner of a dark room
Surrounded by nothing but silence,
I take daggers of pain and misery
And fling them lethally at my heart
What was once a spirit filled with trust
Now all that remains is a void
Those I trusted have taken everything
Leaving me with only depression
Then the tears come, stinging my eyes,
Waterfalls streaming down my face
I detest the weakness they represent
But I'm in no hurry to stop them
So I let them flow freely
As I remain in the darkness
Where no soul can intrude
And I am alone when I cry.

note: it is official...I have become completely discouraged with my life. It seems to be going nowhere. I'm thinking of just giving up...

Raven Aurora

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[Raven Aurora]

<a name="#forty three"> Sorrow Song </a>

note: I wrote this last night...don't know what came over me...a wave of depression I guess...

I can't ignore the anguish
Destroying my fragile mind;
This was the inevitable end
Many pray never to find...

Nor could I ever disregard
Futility surrounding my life
Since these days only bring
Unreal amounts of strife

Why not just give in now?
Pain crushed my hurting heart,
One now weakened by desolation
As the hollow shell falls apart

Let me relinquish existence
And bid farewell to sorrow
In the hopes of living to see
A more pleasant tomorrow...

Please don't make me stay
Some place I'm unappreciated;
Can't you see I won't survive
Wherever I'm always hated?

Turbulence weathered my spirit
Over this winding course of years;
Mostly I feel utterly broken
By those who scorned bitter tears

With these steps I walk alone;
Hear the torn, heartbroken cries
From one who bares her soul
Through dark, forlorn eyes

Mercy, heaven; make this stop!
You don't know what I would give;
Ask anything of me in exchange,
Bestow upon me the will to live

Everything's slipped out of reach;
Within me swirls a gaping hole
Slowly feeding upon willpower
And sucking the life out of my soul

Holding my arms outstretched,
I patiently await promised mercy
Or for any sign that angels hear
And will reach out to rescue me

Perhaps this is a test of strength
But I'll probably never be fine,
For I've fallen too far, too fast
Into this silent misery of mine

Drowning in all my sorrows,
The voice ceases warbling the song;
Undying for the past few lifetimes
Yet never again to go so long.

Raven Aurora

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[Raven Aurora]

<a name="#forty four"> Tame the Flame </a>

note: When you're alone, writing erotica can be a stunning hurdle...I found out the hard way. I manage somehow, though. This is one of the newer pieces penned while I was away.

Passion lay dormant
Among teeming embers,
Interred deep within
The shadowy abyss
Which calls for you
To appease its ache
During lonesome nights

Awaken my torpid being
With magical fingertips;
My corporal shell shudders
As flashes of ecstasy
Roil through me in waves...
Once smoldering ashes
Now give birth to flame

Beneath your gentle lips,
Skin ignites instantly...
Ply me apart with kisses
For this is my undoing;
I crave the sweet taste
Of your decadent desire;
Tease now, but take me soon

Pierce this heated barrier
Yielding to torrid rapture;
Absorb the liquid inferno
Seeking to claim all of you,
And share with me your love
While exploring hollow depths
Beyond the portal to my essence.

Raven Aurora

Originally posted at: Tame the Flame

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_______________________

<a name="#forty five"> Outer Heaven </a>

note: this was written for my best friend, Quint, who died serving as a lieutenant in the U.S. Marine Corps during the "War on Terrorism" in Afghanistan. I posted this because today marks the one year anniversary of his death.

Though you were taken from me
And you're no longer present
On earth in a vessel of flesh,
We shall be reunited one day
In the great realm of outer heaven
Your demise was quite untimely;
Who could have ever predicted
That once you left the warm safety
And loving comfort of my embrace
It would signify your downfall?
Spacious voids encompass the soul,
My heart shatters in minute pieces
Each time your image is conjured
Constantly I reach to touch you
Only to be met by frigid, empty air
I continue my steps in bereavement
But I'll never again fear solitude
For you remain my earthly guardian;
Until the time comes for us to rejoin,
You shall forever live on in my heart.

Raven Aurora

Originally posted at: Outer Heaven

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_______________________

<a name="#forty six"> As The White Candle Burns </a>

note: This piece happened to 'emerge' from the depths of my spirit one night, as I burned a white candle. I have been thinking on more spiritual planes. I tire of religious hypocrisy, persecution, and apathy. Why not have your own relationship with God?

Your spirit I can discern,
Blazing vigorous and bright
Ignited upon this candle
Radiating into the night

At times I may feel alone;
Still your presence is near
To cradle me in an embrace
Dispelling all sense of fear

Opening my understanding,
A divine destiny I receive;
My heart touched to the core,
You give the strength to believe

How could you be so selfless
As to endure bloodshed for me?
Sacrificing your own existence
To set all of humankind free?

Head bowed in deference,
My soul utters words of praise
Thanking you for tender mercy
Shown to me throughout my days

Profound desires to know more
Come surfacing from depths within;
The spirit clamors for guidance
Leading me away from grave sin

Bestow unto me the knowledge
For which a forlorn soul yearns;
This thing I beseech of you
As the white candle burns.

Raven Aurora

Originally posted at: As The White Candle Burns

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[Raven Aurora]

<a name="#forty seven"> Opera of the Lotus </a>

Twilight borders on dawn
As the munificent young lotus
Opens herself to the world...

Crickets chirp sporadically;
Birds begin to break in song
During these last moments

Daybreak spills sunlight
On the blooming wonder
Astride her lily pad

She rules the cool pond,
Attracting much attention
With astounding beauty

Petals of coral and ivory
Glisten in a rosy glow
That reflects upon water

Her sisters awaken soon;
Yellow and blue revealed
By the flamboyant flora

Cool breezes waft past,
Upon them drifting leaves
And fluttering butterflies

Dusk approaches slowly;
Heat from the glowing sun
Radiates each treasure

Soon other living creatues
Make their grand appearance
On the teeming pond front

Each contributes harmony
With unique musical scores
In the opera of the lotus...

Until day meets its end
And fireflies dance around
The freshwater stage

Signaling night's approach,
Each draw curtains on the stars
Who seek an evening respite.

note: This is an observation I made one year at summer camp. In the twilight period between dawn and daylight, I watched a lotus in bloom and thought it was incredible, so I wrote about it.

Raven Aurora

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[Raven Aurora]

<a name="#forty eight"> Secretly </a>

note: I wrote this to someone I lusted after but knew I couldn't have...out of frustration since I still can't have him...

My heart yearns for you;
At times I feel rather blue
When you saunter away...
I wish you would just stay
In my arms this night
Until the morning light...

Maybe I'm so out of place,
Crowding your personal space
And must deny what I feel...
But my emotions are real;
You are the prize I most seek,
Yet my tongue refuses to speak...

Each day this lie is reborn;
One heart cries out, forlorn,
Waiting for the pain to end...
Yet as the heart can mend,
Love sparks the raging fire
Claiming you as my desire...

Kisses soft to the touch,
I crave your warmth so much;
All you have to give and more...
Still, just like times before,
You were never meant for me;
In thought I pursue you secretly.

Raven Aurora

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[Raven Aurora]

<a name="#forty nine"> One With the Night </a>

note: Some people have kinships with certain times of the day...mine just happens to be after dark... I have this strange attraction to everything dealing with the night...

Darkness enshrouding the entire sky,
I constantly look up at night, amazed
After sunset, I often proceed to wonder why

Little stars in the heavens are all ablaze
And what a miracle it would be to even try
To create celestial bodies with a silver haze

Outside the world feels like a different place
Moonlight pours on earth a luminous glow,
All of nature bears, at the least, a slight trace

The twinkling stars dance, so eager to show
That at night every creation is fair of face
And darkness is much more comforting than we know

Standing on the porch I can catch the breeze,
Watching as everything is washed in moonlight
Such an environment puts my soul at ease

Dark so peaceful, moon and stars so bright,
I ask that you remain with me always, please...
For I feel myself becoming one with the night.

Raven Aurora

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