Berlie

[Berlie]

Poetry by Berlie

Recent Poetry
In My Nightmares
Today I Wrote Poetry
We Must Not Think Evil
I Walked Away
Shhh...
the nightmare remembered
The Road I Traveled
the Loss
The Fence that Separates
Whispering Prayers
The Day I Left You
Going Home
Runaway
The Street
Catfishing with Dad
so easy
down
down (part two)
Flight
Doing Time
The Little Things
Insomnia
I Remember
I Sit
CATS

Older Poems (Teenage Years)

Daughter of Man
Hope
Skeletons in the Closet
In My Corner
Mamma
Yesterday's Deeds
Insane
Doorway
loved by one
Unnoticed
Patiently
The Question
Death's Guide
The Shadow
I Wonder
Twirling

Haiku & Short verse

my Haikus

[Berlie]

I Walked Away

You held me close
I gasped for air
placed me on a pedestal
and left me there

You nurtured me
we grew apart
gave me your soul
I broke your heart

You said you loved me
ten times a day
begged me...don't go
I walked away


12/17/05

http://www.poetrypages.com/phpBB2/viewt ... p?p=280411


Shhh...

beep..beep..beep...
his alarm clock
disturbs my sleep
turning over, grumbling
tangling the sheets
shhhh.. he whispers
fingers gently brushing
against my cheek
its ok.. go back to sleep
left with a kiss...
I drift away

http://www.poetrypages.com/phpBB2/viewtopic.php?t=40517



the nightmare remembered

dreaming...

faded memories
of someone loved
a face I cannot place
the feeling of something lost

gone... somewhere
I can't remember
did you leave me?
forever?

desperation
makes me struggle
I choke on a scream
it comes out a whimper

an arm around me
a gentle kiss
I wake

your face

I remember...

you're still here
I found you

...forever

11/23/05
http://www.poetrypages.com/phpBB2/viewt ... 68&start=0



<a>The Road I Traveled

looking back
on the road I traveled
lots of dead ends
and crooked streets
bridges burned
as I crossed them
roads closed
due to storms

detours may have
led me astray
but I made it anyway
here I am, finally...
home

11/22/05
http://www.poetrypages.com/phpBB2/viewtopic.php?t=39755


The Loss

she awakens from a nightmare
of pain, of suffering, of loss
rolling over she reaches for him
before she remembers, again
that he no longer sleeps beside her
blurry eyed, she stumbles
into the bathroom
looking for the pills they say,
will help her forget
she finds instead his shaving cream
and the cologne their son got him
for Father's Day
she finds her son in the living room
asleep on the couch, the TV flickering
clutching his teddy bear close,
the one he outgrew years ago
she turns off the TV
not wanting to see more news
about the accident, the tragedy
the loss

2/5/2003

Original post at: http://www.poetrypages.com/phpBB2/viewtopic.php?t=4085

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The Fence that Separates
* for Troy

a chain link fence, separates
the two backyards of
two houses and
two young children
a boy and a girl
who one day spy each other
and with the launching of a tomato
war is declared
and so begins the bombardment
of rotten vegetables and
after much laughter
and ruined gardens
peace is declared and
a young friendship is born
nimble hands and feet find their way
over the fence that separates
and they explore
each others yards and
their new friendship
the fathers, seeing this
converge on the fence and build a gate
so it no longer, separates
a path is worn through the gate
and in each others hearts
trees are climbed and
secrets are shared
and troubles are forgotten
left behind, for a time
as they pass through the gate

over the years the path grows deep
and the friendship grows strong
then one day the girl is gone,
her family moved on
and a padlock appears on the gate
weeds grow and choke the path
the hinges turn to rust and
the memory of the friendship fades
and the fence, once again, separates

9/18/03

Original post at: http://www.poetrypages.com/phpBB2/viewtopic.php?t=12802

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Whispering Prayers

a child lays huddled
under the covers
hands pressed tight
against her ears

the shattering of glass
follows a slammed door
and she whispers prayers...

please God

a shouted curse chases her
everywhere she runs, it finds
so she learns to build a fortress
and cowers, deep within her mind


just make them stop

loving voices, raised in anger
left a mark on her tender heart
fears and tears she learned to bury
but the scars her soul still bares

I'll be good, I swear

a child lays huddled
under the covers
whispering prayers...

8/15/2003

Original post at: http://www.poetrypages.com/phpBB2/viewtopic.php?t=4100

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The Day I Left You

I took a taxi to the airport
The day I left you
You stood watching
Silently
As it pulled away
Shoulders slumped you seemed
Rejected, with a panic
Upon your face
Troubled eyes screamed at me
Demanding that I remember
The pain I caused
the hurt
the anger
the betrayal
the love I threw away
You watched until the taxi
Turned the corner
Taking me away and
Leaving you behind
Forever

8/11/2003

Original post at: http://www.poetrypages.com/phpBB2/viewtopic.php?t=4088

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Going Home

It seems I am dying
Like the sun
Dipping beneath the horizon
One last time
I felt my last breath
A gentle kiss
On my lips
My last words
Just a whisper
Lost in the breeze
Already a memory
Like I will soon be
The world is being
Swallowed
By this darkness
That's descending
Slowly
Piece by piece
It fades

I hear someone calling
In the distance, a light
I believe its time
For me to go Home now

7/1/03

Original post at: http://www.poetrypages.com/phpBB2/viewtopic.php?t=3643

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Runaway

street signs flicker past
city lights fall behind
peering out the darkened glass
my reflection looking back

the past I leave behind
the future lies ahead
not sure where this road will take me
not certain I should have fled

sighing I adjust the headphones
drowning out the noise with song
closing eyes to try to sleep
the greyhound bus rumbles on

Original post at: http://www.poetrypages.com/phpBB2/viewtopic.php?t=2014

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The Street

the pain lingers
beneath the hard eyes
dyed black hair pokes out
from under the hood
of her army surplus jacket
hiding a pale young face
she stands in the shadow
of a street corner building
a beat up backpack at her side
in which her life is contained
a thin dirty blanket,
an old flannel shirt,
a few toiletries,
a book stolen from the library
and of course her notebook
filled with the ramblings
of her soul
she cautiously studies the crowd
that passes her by
watching, waiting, looking
for just the right one
there!
the young mother with a kind face
or maybe the wannabe who
is trying to look cool, fit in
with daddy's money in his pockets
a deep breath, the heart beats faster
she steps out of the shadows
excuse me
could you spare a little change
a smile, a polite thank you
then a quick retreat back
to the shadows
safe
a deep breath
the heart stops pounding
and she counts the coins
clink clink
her eyes light up with excitement
another nickel and she has enough
for a hamburger

a mother, miles away, worries

Original post at: http://www.poetrypages.com/phpBB2/viewtopic.php?t=3572

6/17/03

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Catfishing with Dad

I clearly remember catfishing with dad
the cool, sharp winds would startle
the blackbirds from the trees
sending them soaring over the water
we baited our hooks with chicken livers
and cast our lines, leaving ripples
dad would grab a few cold ones from the cooler
and we would soak up the sun
waiting patiently for the fish to nibble

then darkness would settle
and the stars would come out bright
so clear and untainted by city lights
dad would pull me close
and I could smell the beer on his breath
as he whispered reassurances in my ear
then his hands, smelling like fish
and crusted with fishing bait
would slip under my shirt
and clumsily fondle my young breasts

yes, I clearly remember catfishing with dad
dear god, why won't you let me forget

2/15/04

Original post at: http://www.poetrypages.com/phpBB2/viewtopic.php?t=17751


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so easy

twelve noon
the whiskey
goes down
so smooth
numbing
the pain
eyes stare ahead
blankly
at nothing
brick by brick
i rebuild my walls
that took so long
to tear down
thank god
they go back up
so easy

twelve midnight
the sleeping pills
go down
so easy
numbing the fear
eyes stare
at the ceiling
waiting for sleep
while i keep
building

2/12/04

Original post at: http://www.poetrypages.com/phpBB2/viewtopic.php?t=17715

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down (part one)

depression lurks within
deep in the darkness
waiting
for me to stumble
then quickly it leads me
into its trap
the claws dig in
and pull me
down
deep into its lair
i scream, i struggle
but no one hears
as it drags me
down
...
alone
i drown

2/11/04

Original post at: http://www.poetrypages.com/phpBB2/viewtopic.php?t=17695

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down (part two)

alone
i drowned
....
depression seeped in
and dragged me down
i gave up
i ceased to fight
the beast howled
in delight
but then i saw
a flicker of light
one last try
one last hope
i can do this myself
i can do this
alone
i broke the chains
that held me there
the beast's delight
turned to fright
as i escaped
its grasp
free at last
i looked back
only then did i see
that the beast,
well that beast,
it was me


2/11/04

Original post at: http://www.poetrypages.com/phpBB2/viewtopic.php?t=17695

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Flight

The darkest tunnel leads
to the light
The yearning soul feasts
on the sight
Hunger sated, fears abated
Calmness and peace descend
The weary soul rests, then
A gentle tug on the line sends
The dreaming soul back
from its flight

6/5/03

Original post at: http://www.poetrypages.com/phpBB2/viewtopic.php?t=3484

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Doing Time

Alarm clock buzzing in your ear
You shake off sleep, the dreams still near
Another day to add to the last
Yesterday is now the past
Shower, breakfast and caffeine
Nothing new to this routine
The mind works numbly through the grind
Its all the same, you're just doing time

The days add up, the years go by
Wake up and live, before you die

6/5/03

Original post at: http://www.poetrypages.com/phpBB2/viewtopic.php?t=3431

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The Little Things

Its the tickle attack,
That makes me laugh
And the faces you make,
Behind my back
Its the kiss each morning,
Before you leave
And the way you hold me,
When I grieve
Its the little things that you do
That make up the reasons why I,
Love you

2/10/2003

Original post at: http://www.poetrypages.com/phpBB2/viewtopic.php?t=8146

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Insomnia

Asleep, beside me
He slumbers gently, his snores
The background to my thoughts

As I…

Stumble through the past again
My memories a minefield of sorrows and sin
Old friends and lovers accuse me
The father again abuses me
The parents yell, the neighbors stare
The truth of my life laid bare

Awakened, beside me
He reaches out and draws me close
Safe in his arms, I close my eyes

And dream…

2/5/2003

Original post at: http://www.poetrypages.com/phpBB2/viewtopic.php?t=1994

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I Remember

I am dreaming again
Of my childhood home
The tall summer grass
Hides my brother and I
As we play hide and seek
Rotten tomatoes from the garden
Provides him ample ammunition
The swing on the redwood sways
As I run past laughing
Brother and tomato in hot pursuit

I am dreaming again
But before I continue down the path
I pause, and remember

1/23/2003

Original post at: http://www.poetrypages.com/phpBB2/viewtopic.php?t=2022

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I Sit

here
I sit
and stare at
the computer
the cursor just blinks
and I swear the mouse winked
yet no words come forth
to grace these keys
and so I
still sit
here

2/5/2003

Original post at: http://www.poetrypages.com/phpBB2/viewtopic.php?t=2180

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CATS

Cautiously I stalk you, then
An aerobatic leap to
The top of your head
Surprise!

2/5/2003

Original post at: http://www.poetrypages.com/phpBB2/viewtopic.php?t=8660

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Slip Away

the pains to deep
withdraw
my scars bleed new
withdraw
she haunts my sleep
withdraw
it was just my due
withdraw

I need a little time
to take off this mask
of better days
and let it all
slip away

withdraw


http://www.poetrypages.com/phpBB2/viewt ... highlight=


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[Berlie]

Daughter of Man

No one knows
Just who I am
Yet I am simply
The daughter of Man


Grasping my hands
Of Heaven's dirt
A touch of love
A touch of hurt

From Death I come
To Death I go
On whispering winds
To claim my soul

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Hope

In the midst of night
A miserable night
I lay in a starless field
Searching for my inner light

Then a wandering wind
Whispers to me
And I listen with all my might
What I hear, Brings a tear
Then slowly fills my heart

As the voice drifts away
It leaves a tiny spark
For as I look to the sky
A star defies the dark

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Skeletons in the Closet

state of mind
here i find
ghosts
simply knocking
on my soul
-go away-
to them i say
no one's home
i am all alone
and so i wish to stay
i hear them laugh
i hear them cry
-go away?-
i hear one say
let us out so we may

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In My Corner

Here in my corner
Whispering in my head
I wonder what they said
And I wonder can they see me
Here in the backroom of my mind
Here in my corner
I might hear
Time
Slip away
And I wonder what they say
While I play with memories
Here in the backroom of my mind
Sometimes I might glimpse
A distant
Shadow
For an instant
But I just smile and look away
For I don't understand what they say

Why do they leave me here
Why don't they break this mirror
And discover there is much to find
Here inside my mind
And I wonder can they hear me
Screaming...
Here in the backroom of my mind

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Mamma

So mamma
do you hear
like i
death at the door
waiting
for life
to be no more
than a whisper
do you see
like i
the man at the door
to whom i kneel
from whom i cower
do you sense
his ultimate power
over me
life
and matter

So mamma
do you feel
like i
the need and desire
to become
a silenced whisper...

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Yesterday's Deeds

The sounds of yesterdays deeds
Are echoing in my mind
Breaking into empty solitude
Distorting sound and time
Creating terror where it goes
Leaving nothing behind

Desperately I flee
Racing through my mind
Searching for that hidden room
That it never seems to find

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Insane

I'm an insane creature
With an insane mind
Insane outside
And inside you'll find
An insane creature
With an insane mind

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Doorway

The darkness surrounds
A single light
Far in the distance
I struggle for sight
Then gently a whisper
A name I once knew
Tells me of knowledge
I know to be true


There is a doorway
An entrance to night
Come sail until morning
Second star to the right

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loved by one

he who stole
and kissed my soul
tore apart
yet left a spark
embraced the sun
and loved by one

he who caught
my every thought
lived not so far
on a distant star
pulled fire from ice
not once but twice

he who knew
life thru and thru
whose whisper caressed
and eyes undressed
had not riches or gold
but love so bold

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Unnoticed

Unnoticed I die
Shedding tears
Wrapped up in fears
Thoughts of sadness
No one to love...

Banging my head against the wall
Breaking open, spilling all
I hold the knife to end it all
Laughing while I watch the blood
Drip down my arm
Then turn to mud
Crying now as I fall
I wonder who will find
The blood streaks on the wall

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Patiently

Grasp my hand
I'll lead you
From this pain
Stray away and I'll wait
Patiently until I see
Your hand reaching for me
Don't worry I'll hold tight
We'll guide each other 'till daylight
Then look around and find
This beautiful world
Created by you and me

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The Question

Death is the answer
To the unknown question
The question asked in the midst of night
It is known by few
Answered by none
The few who know
Know no more

The question is asked
In the unknown home
Where the old are young
And the young are none
Where candles burn
For none to see
An people wander aimlessly

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Death's Guide

The void surrounds me
Hounds me
What is it I hear
Sounds so near
I open my eyes
Surprise
Someone stands there
His emptiness stares
Darkness enfolds him
Becomes him
I try to hide
From this guide
Then he summons me
And I cannot see
I start to cry
For its time to die

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The Shadow

The winds are whispering
Of silent change
All around me I feel the pain
A shadow is coming
To join the race
When will he
Show his hidden face
Another day
Another hour
Just how sad
Is the death of a flower

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I Wonder

I wonder what lies over the hill
Beyond the stars after the kill
I wonder what tomorrow will bring
Which flower will bloom which bird will sing
I wonder what the future holds
Where will I be when life unfolds
I wonder what lies over the sea
Beyond the moon; inside of me
I wonder what makes me breathe
My heart beat; the spider weave
And I wonder if I will ever know
Before my last breath; before my last show

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Twirling

In the morning twighlight sky
Wisps of thought wonder by
In the twirling about my mind
I think of life and what I'll find
In the mist of forgotten past
I cling to memories I wish to last
In the soundness of my sleep
I hear the laughter I hide so deep
In the dark and dreary hour
I grasp my heart and pray for power
In the last and final song
I sing for death for which I long

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[Berlie]

HAIKU

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Daily Therapy

Feet pound the pavement
As the sweat drips down my back
I am young again


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into the Heavens
they went, with the world grieving
our fallen heroes

2/1/03 for the crew of the Columbia

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clearing skies
the wind shakes more rain
from the trees

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reading
a twitching tail
marks my place

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cold morning
bare feet dancing on
linoleuem

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cold morning
waiting for the dryer
and warm socks

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morning dew
feet go rushing by
first robin

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last night's rain
made shallow puddles
spring morning

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early morning
thoughts of doughnuts are
whispering

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gathering clouds
the cool wind brings
whispering chimes

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going home
the tree I planted
is dying

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Monday morning
even the sunrise
seems ugly

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gossiping
on the telephone wire
blue jays

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startled
by a midnight CRASH
@#$% cat!

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whispering
behind her back
school children

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home at last
little wet kisses
from the cat

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leaping frogs
two ducks and a goose
childs play

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seen
from 30,000 feet
mountain snow

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strolling
through the graveyard
young lovers

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blue heron
treetop landing
not a quiver

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delaying
the morning rush
blue herons

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funeral wake
sudden laughter
then silence

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flickering
fairies in the dusk
fireflies

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doomed from journeys start
a caterpillar creeps up
the garden's bird bath


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behind the dumpster
three legged dog, skin and bones
best friend, discarded

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spoiled birds
scattering their seed
fat chipmunk

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[shawn2005]

..love your stuff.awsome!

[Berlie]

We Must Not Think Evil

"we must not think evil of this man"
the words of a grandfather
spoken over the body of a slain little girl
his own family, his own blood
offering his forgiveness
to this sick, bastard of a man
who took the lives of five of their own

I did not cry
when I heard of the shooting
or the day two more died
instead I cursed the killer
and shook my head in anger

today I read Grandpa's words,
felt his strength and courage
from the faith in his heart

and now I cry
with an ache in my soul
where the old hurt resides

this simple man can forgive a stranger
who caused so much pain
yet I lack the strength
to forgive even my own father


10/04/06
in reference to the Amish school shootings

Original post: http://www.poetrypages.com/phpBB2/viewtopic.php?t=47448


Today I Wrote Poetry


today I wrote poetry
it wasn't written down
there were no words to speak
it will win no awards
that wasn't meant to be

it contained no rhymes
nor meters or lines
syllables were not accounted for
I don't do that anymore

today I wrote poetry
by simply being alive
every gesture, every smile
a bit of muse set free

...thats poetry enough for me



11/1/06

http://www.poetrypages.com/phpBB2/viewtopic.php?t=47989


In My Nightmares


in my nightmares I accuse you
standing tall with fire in my eyes
attacking you with words
exposing your secrets
to our family and friends

child molester!
pervert!
how could you!
you were my father!

you answer in silence
and I start to shake
losing my resolve
defeated, I collapse
chocking on sobs

watching in horror
as family and friends
turn their backs on me
denying the truth in my eyes,
the hurt in my soul

you liar!
how could you!
he would never do that!
he's your father!

in my nightmares
night after night
I accuse you
and it breaks me
all over again

how could you?
you were my father....


11/2/06

http://www.poetrypages.com/phpBB2/viewtopic.php?t=47999




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[Berlie]

stained

stained
by a dark past
these marks
meant to last
scrub them
bloody and raw
they always heal
with a scar
hide them
no one can see
this shameful
part of me

     forgive the past
     let it be
     accept yourself
     you're loved by me

it's too late
the stain too deep
I cut it out
and now... I'm free

11/25/06

[Berlie]

To Do

Every night before I sleep
I write a to-do list for me to keep
Work, Eat, Play
I plan out my every day
Mark them off one by one
So I know just what I've done

Two. Three. Four.
Do no less, do no more.
Eight. Nine. Ten.
All done, start again...

[Berlie]

Wating out the Storm


FLASH

one mississippi... two mi...

CRACK

hiding in the den
wrapped in a blanket
like a little kid
waiting for the trees
to come crashing down

FLASH

one mississippi...