psychotic pretender

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psychotic pretender
Mistress of Shadows
Posts: 476
Joined: Sat Dec 15, 2007 11:59 am
Location: wadley alabama

psychotic pretender

Post by psychotic pretender » Sat Jan 05, 2008 3:41 pm


(2)oblivions arms (BY:frozentears and psychotic pretender)
(3)Song of Seperation (By: psychotic pretender and frozentears)
(4)Kathryn and Dylon
(5)untitled #23
(6)human condition
(7)untitled 13
(12)to help a friend
(17)psychos public television network
(18)fragments of love; shards of hatred
(19)see me
(21)what happened to us
(23)all alone
(24)untitled #20
(26)untitled 19
(27)my reality
(28)inner eye
(29)tattered wings, an angel falls
(30)religious fanatic
(31)my goddesses
(32)already gone
(33)psychotic love
(34)my sister
(35)untitled #8
(36)What is love
(37)Wal-Mart Bargain Bin
(38)i do and He does
(39)wet socks(BY: frozentears and psychotic pretender)
(40)white(BY:frozentears and psychotic pretender)
(41)a pale face in the dark
(43)dying thoughts
(44)the poetry pages; my home
(45)a letter to my real mother
(46)rivers create pools
(47)what women do for men
(48)untitled #25
(49)Death does his job
(51)all about you
(52)word vomit
(53)truth and lies
(54)a psychos confession
(55)the pleasure in pain
(56)interview with death
(57)pursuing happiness
(58)emotional constipation
(59)untitled #18
(60)my unicorn
(61)a prayer to the night goddess
(64)love and pain
(68)a fulfilled vow
(69)slipping into madness
(70)rending of the mind
(71)killing me again
(72)courage from hatred
(73)sweet release
(74)in remembrance of a true southern belle
(76)your pain
(78)all hail the queen
(79)silk on sandpaper
(82)insane addiction
(83)debt hands you a shovel
(85)society is inhumane
(87)again and again
(88)you are insecure, dear


She was my best friend
through all my ups and downs
silently leading me to answers
when I couldn’t see the truth;
Gran always had an ear to lend.

Teaching me old wisdoms
showing me new tricks
she would calmly guide me
all my troubles would wash away;
Gran always had a hand to lend.

She would pick me up when I fell
spank me when I was wrong
cry if I was hurt
and she would help me heal;
Gran always had a heart to lend.

Now that she has departed
I still seek her guidance
and I hear her answer from time to time
I can always feel her near me.

Gran, my guardian angel, my best friend.
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oblivions arms(BY: frozentears and psychotic pretender)

Try to figure out my mind;
Don’t read my fingers
because they always tell lies when they are drunk.
The evil traces of the soul I control
Has dumped me into a hole that is so deep it’s a bowl.
I live in darkness and gloom;
It’s to soon to predict the doom that you bring
With the light that deceives.
because It pretends to be bright
When all it does is contain death;
Vampires live for death while I die for life.
Although life is depressing and morbidity is abundant
I just smile and pull the trigger
Waiting for sweet oblivion to wrap me in her loving arms.
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Song of Seperation(By:psychotic pretender and frozentears)

The single flame dances to a lonely song,
keeping time with desperation to burn
'till twilight relieves us of our painful devastation,
and in this hour of our need
we feel the presence of our greed
and so we sing a song that seems
to deal with the separation of misdeed
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Kathryn and Dylon

Dylon chases Kathryn through the house
she squeals with delight
Kathryn jumps from behind the door
he screams from fright
Dylon fights over a sippy cup
Kathryn cries over skinned knees
both laugh at the television
I beg for quiet, PLEASE!!!!!!
I feed, change, and bathe
take a little break
put both to bed
and give myself a mental shake
I watch Kathryn clasp her dolly tight
see Dylon shift around
smiling softly I think of our day
and the bliss I have found
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untitled #23

Pushing forth
Oh how I want out
Expressionless, pain filled
How can I escape from hell
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human condition

Have you ever felt unwanted
Or unloved
Have you ever felt abuse
Mental angst
Or neglect
Have you ever felt sad
Or disappointed

Well welcome to the human condition

Do you ever feel completion
Or Fascination
Do you ever feel entranced
Or empowered
Do you ever feel supported
Or elated

Well welcome to the human condition

Its not something that we ask for
But we all must learn to deal
This is thrust upon us at birth
I didnt want this
Nor need this
Yet here it is
This riot of emotion

This thing we call the human condition
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untitled 13

Moonbeams shower down on me
slowly kissing my hair and face
softly as the touch
of a butterflies wing
upon my index finger.
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I am…..
Coming, staying,
yearning, wanting,
asking, begging,
dreaming, fantasizing,
thinking, wondering,
praying promising,
getting, receiving,
buying, owning,
taking, stealing,
arguing, disagreeing,
fighting, beating,
breaking, destroying,
tearing, ripping,
pushing, shoving,
staring, seeing,
petting, stroking,
holding, dropping,
trying, doing,
walking, hiking,
jogging, running,
driving, wrecking,
sleeping, resting,
eating, drinking,
ageing, dying,
grieving, relieving,
freeing, releasing,
dressing, changing,
leading, following,
moving, stopping,
deciding, realizing,
hoping, needing,
going, leaving,
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scarlet is the color
the color of blood
the blood that’s on the knife
the knife in my hand
the blood was on the knife
when it came out of the back
the back of the man
the man that’s on the floor
the floor is in the kitchen
the kitchen in my house
the knife came from the kitchen
the knife that killed the man
he lies dead on the floor
my floor,
his floor,
our floor
i killed the man
the man that’s on the floor
scarlet is the color
the color of blood
blood is the key
the key to death
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Pick my heart up gently
Like its made of glass
Sit down slowly
Unfold the past
Show my true colors
Does my blood run red
Your touching me
Enough said
Yet still you delve
Into my secret truth
No boundaries known
Gaze at my youth
Watch me triumph
See me fall
Hear my desires
Embrace them all
Shed light on my pain
Heal a wound
Fall to your knees
Bring about my doom
Pick my heart up gently
It is made of glass
Sit down slowly
don’t shatter my past
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their eyes are of a blankness
that we cannot fathom
a demonic gesture
twisted into a stare so innocent
( a void )
they dance and pose in only a ribbon or cloud
exposing so much without being “indecent”
making them socially acceptable and undeniably irresistible
( a child pornographers wet dream )
as well as provoking
the perverted minds most hidden desires
they capture us by a sweet twist of the lips
but snarl behind those pale and lying eyes
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to help a friend

how can i help you?
i ponder this as you sit crying
worrying about your life
how can i ease your troubled mind?
might i solve your problems by putting my life on continuous hold?
here, let me drop everything
i understand you are fragile
you are so much more sensitive than i
so i give you time
i change things in my life
things that mean alot to me
because you are special
your feelings are so delicate
( you think that i have none )
yes, i know the stress of your relationship
you have rehashed it a thousand times
yes, an ocean is very large
and no, i wouldnt understand
( of course )
i have tried
but then we all have our own little problems, dont we?
my life is beginning soon
no, you have i life
i havent up till now
sorry that my being anxious ruins your plans for being miserable
so how can i help you?
let me think
i guess i can try not to be so selfish
give you your way
( as usual )
i so hate to see you cry
does that help you any?
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take a breath
make the jump
fall freely
find the bottom

steal a kiss
borrow time
drive fast
live faster

pray to God
ask for forgiveness
give it freely
sin agian

take the plunge
swim lifes stream
give fate a chance
grab your freedom
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How tender you look
Your cinnamon skin pulsating
Black as a ravens wing, your hair
No golden tresses could frame that face
Full lashes outlining those beautiful hazel wonders
Such eloquence
All of this will wither and fade
Do you realize this?
Would you, if possible…..
I can make you endure
Centuries will unfold
Let me kiss your lips
Hhhmmm, delicious
Sweet and enticing
Will you allow me the privilege of plunder?
Ah, surrender, yes that’s it
Make this so sweet for you, yes
My twin daggers pierce your skin
Oh love, I heard you moan
Yes, call to me
Speak my name
Weak, oh so weak and I’m filling
Drink now love
Yes drain me
My lover
We will hunt
Yes, and your beauty will last
Standing out for all eternity
Your skin shall be white
More white than snow ever dreamed
So sad?
How lovely you weep
Let me lick your tears
Crystalline delight
My child
Weep not
They are but sheep
And we are the wolves.
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i dont cut
i know someone who did

her poetry was pure pleasure
a voice like a lark
her heart sweet beauty
she listened
no one listened to her
except me
not enough
she wanted the world to hear
no one listened
so she cut
the floor listened as it soaked up her blood
she hid her body in shame by day
at night she felt release

she cut her throat
bled to death

i mourn
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there goes a father whose daughter only drinks water
has her tongue pierced and listens to deranged lyrics
so he beats her bad and screams "what does it mean"
but she takes all the pain like its not a thing
just turns the music up like she dont give a fuck
she hates her life cause she knows she is stuck
his wife gets mad because he wont leave her alone and he beats her bad
she is so sad, so she leaves but that just gives him more reason to beat
she finally cuts her wrist and lets the wound bleed as she slips off to sleep
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psychos public television network

as i watch
you display yourself
my mind distorts the moment
unfettered fantasies
of the grotesque
dance behind my eyes

as i watch
the scene unfolds
you bound, gagged, and bleeding
those eyes
sapphire marvels
beg for freedom

as i watch
the flesh peels back
you moan and struggle
tears stream down your face
making little paths

as i watch
your breath comes in little gasps
appendages cease resisting
glassy eyes gleam
you cease to exist

as i watch
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fragments of love; shards of hatred

your hand on my face
such a sweet caress
then your palms against my cheeks
so painfully pressed

our hearts are intertwined
i love you so much
your fingers wrapped around my throat
telling me to hush

i love to watch you laugh
eyes as clear as a cloudless day
but sometimes you are so hateful
saying that i stray

these fragments of our love
keep me going strong
these shards of your hatred
have been killing me for so long
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see me

sporadic insane gestures
of the divinly grotesque kind
deserves more attention
than the mere alteration of perspective
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twisted bodies
cut tongues
minds manifest pain
incisions deep
broken bones
lick that salty redness
minds manifest pain
eyes dangle on cheeks
fingers snap
bowels hangout
imagine it
our minds manifest pain
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what happened to us

we were once so close
but no more
our passion once bound us
but no more
laughing came so easy
but no more

you constantly insult
i can do nothing right
tears slide down my face

what happened to us

all the world glowed once
but no more
the days were always to short
but no more
we could talk for hours
but no more

you trample my dreams
the fighting never ceases
the doors divide

oh what has happened to us

you use to call me beautiful
but no more
holding hands came natural
but no more
making love was a thing of beauty
but no more

you say im stupid
we hardly touch
now we are truly over

dear god please what has happened to us
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i am merely a shadow
incapable of escape
i am forever bound
to a person that doesnt care about me
so depressed and full of pain
i walk unnoticed through this world
stepped on
left alone in the corner
un able to express how i feel
for who takes the time for a shadow
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all alone

i cant forget that smile
or the tear in your eye
when i said i'll never leave
don't worry about goodbye
cause i'm here to stay
yeah, i'm right here by your side
and i'll be your best friend
until the end of time

and now i'm trying to live my life without you
feeling so cold
i never meant to hurt you
still here i sit all alone

thinking about the life we shared
all the good times and the sad
but as long as i was with you baby
there was no such thing as bad
but now we'll never share
anymore precious memories
because i can only see you now
in my reveries

and now i'm trying to live my life without you
feeling so cold
i never meant to hurt you
still here i sit all alone

all this agony
weighs heavy on my soul
it rips me apart inside
every time i realize
i'll never kiss your lips
or see that tear in your eye

so i keep on trying to live my life without you
but i feel so cold
i'm sorry for all i've done to hurt you
i feel so alone
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untitled #20

light shading
cool comfort
a marvelous delight

a sweet pink
that ruffled silk
bright radiance in the night

no paints
no perfumes
upon her pretty form

and she dances
as she sings
how the gentlemen do swarm

the stolen glance
a secret kiss
oh to be so young

honeyed words
gilded lies
drip from her glib tongue

perfect promises
untold fantasies
but this i must emphasize

naught compares
to the hell
found in those deceiving eyes
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tear my heart out
feel my tongue
touch me harshly
your battle won
lick my lips now
smell my skin
but still you linger
im filled within

shatter my dreams
fuel the fire
make me scream
a devils desire
compassion is wanted
there is none
i am a target
who wants a gun

rip my heart out
cut my tongue
touch me harshly
your battle won
bite my lips now
burn my skin
you still linger
im filled with your sin
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untitled 19

i often need
to do this deed
just to sit and cut and bleed

i do naught but grieve
but you cant conceive
of these things you do not believe

im sad, yes
cant you guess
just look here at this bloody mess

to feel my pain
drives me insane
so I guess i will slit this vain

no more ties
i leave these lies
here on earth as my body dies
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my reality

i taste the blood
that forms a spiral
within the veins of mother earth
as hatred seeps
from blades of blue grass
and touches every crevice
of my being

i bask within
the warmth Of the suns misery
as she cries tears
of black snowflakes at midnight
and the maddened moon
laughs at her joyful sorrow

i stand within the confinement
of a spacious desert
covered with daisies
and watch as dolphins frolic
between the turbulent petals and sand

i fall
from the heights of my grave
and slam
into ocean bedrock
causing chaotic order
within the universe
of the amethyst and emerald cut pile carpet

i drown
within a sea of air
inside a falling star
as brilliant as the darkest catacomb
on top of the snowcapped mountain

i slowly close my eyes
only to realize
that they are wide open
and I must now return
to everyone else’s reality
which as dispiriting and ludicrous to me
as mine is to them
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inner eye

every where i look there is light
its all i see with my inner sight
except in my heart there is such rage
my demons need to be uncaged
but when i let them loose i see
they still cant be a part of me
that inner eye shuts them out
and leaves me with my deepest doubts
it blinds me with that damned light
that shines and sparkles oh so bright
so i seek the means to rectify
i find that prying inner eye
gouge it out and paint it black
dust it off then put it back
take a look and by pure chance
i see my demons in that first glance
then breaking into sudden song
i look as my demons dance along
they slice me with an athame
to watch me wither and decay
and with that glorious new inner eye
i see pure joy as i die
on each and every single face
of my demons in this place
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tattered wings, and angel falls

bruised skin that was once so fair
blood matted in her silver hair
a voice that quakes instead of singing
the effort to breathe makes her feel like screaming
broken body and beaten soul
heavens glory has let her go
her tattered wings have let her fall
without Gods grace she feels so small
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religious fanatic

flesh on bone
peel back security
blood flows freely
absence of purity
broken home
love dictates
hatred seethes
our bodies break
cracked stones
lost all hope
yearning for death
stabbed the pope
flesh on bone
wanting dictation
hatred seethes
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my goddesses

away from the goddess of love i turn
my face forever flees her inner light
from the goddess of wisdom i run
her petty platitudes cast from my hearts sight
i burn for the goddess of revenge
as well as her twin sister pain
both together have seized my heart
and in that twisted place, hope blossoms strange
so i sacrifice my soul upon their alter
chained forever more to their will
bending, twisting, my body broken
with all this earthly pain my oath i seal
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already gone

slide across my flesh
press tightly to my skin
you want to empty what is there
but there is nothing held within
make tracks across my arms
there my life should swell
but no small rivers run
so there is nothing left to tell
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psychotic love

i remember your redness trickling down my arm
and the shrillness of your scream
i sigh at the thought of your nails clawing at my face
struggling so pitifully
intoxicating the perfume of you
sweat on my brow
as my scalpel works its wonders on your flesh
i wish you could see how beautiful your eyes were flashing in the candlelight
still and calm with no trace of fear left
oh, my beauty, how wondrous you were
cut perfectly
( precision is so vital )
ill keep your near me
always in my memory
screaming “god help me!”
with no reply in sight
as your blood splattered upon my cheeks
and your heart was laid open to me
i made you a promise
i intend to keep it
i will love you for eternity
your heart will be in my room
on my nightstand
beside my bed
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my sister

My sister is a spoiled one
she has everything
pretty blonde hair
pouty lips
oh, how I envy her.

My sister is a spoiled one
she gets everything
lots of clothes
a computer and phone
oh, how I envy her.

And yet……..

My sister is a good one
she will give you anything
the clothes off her back
a helping hand
oh, how I do love her
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untitled #8

Black metal gleaming in the hot sun, blinding me.
The soft whir of rubber on cement
and the loud roar of the engine deafen me.
Frozen to the spot,
i am unable to flee the chrome grill that is getting closer with each second.
I turn my head and squeeze my eyes tight as the truck hits me……………
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What is love


It is a feeling that is indescribable,
yet here I sit trying to capture it on paper.

Love is when you wake up thinking of him.
You eat, drink, and breathe him all day
and dream about him all night.
It’s when you are filled with joy
anytime you hear his name.
It’s when you die a thousand deaths
every time you part company.

Love is when hormones don’t control our thoughts;
our heart does.
It is when sex is more than just a physical release.
When your heart and soul soar, that’s making love not sex.

Love is when you would do anything to make him happy.
His joy fulfills you.
All you care for is him,
and you are even willing to let him go.
If another woman is what he wants
you let him leave
Even though it rips you apart inside,
you know that he is happier with her.

When you feel all this and more, it is love.
It never lessens,
it only intensifies with time.
Painful as it can be,
you don’t wish for it to go away.
Because to lose that pain would be to lose a part of him.
And your heart could not stand that.

This is what I believe love is.
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Wal-Mart Bargain Bin

Looking in my closet
i can see my clothes and shoes.
My coats, hats, and purses.
All precisely placed
and broken in just right.
As I gaze upon
this not so vast variety,
I begin to notice a trend.
With very few exceptions,
all of this comes from Wal-Mart,
mostly clearance rack.
While that’s not a bad thing in itself,
it is a little dispiriting.
Knowing that I’ve given in to corporate Americas leading losers.
Such shame.
Jerks and liars the lot.
Believe me I know,
worked there, done that.
If I could only find someplace, somewhere,
that sells what I need at a reasonable price,
I wouldn’t feel so bad.
All my clothes and shoes,
all my coats, hats, and purses
Come from the Wal-Mart bargain bin.
So sad.
Middle class America cannot escape this monster.
This horror that we have created.
And continuously nurture,
by buying our clothes and shoes,
our coats, hats, and purses.
All from the Wal-Mart bargain bin.
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i do and He does

i walk
measuring my step
pretending i dont need guidance

i speak
saying such cruel things
pretending there is no punishment

i act
put on a stage name
pretending only the audience can see

i dance
keeping bad time with my feet
pretending that i didnt miss a step

all these things i do
as if there is nothing greater
but He can see and hear me
and best of all……

I kneel
in prayer, saying I am sorry Lord
and He forgives me
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wet socks

Red is alone
and black is deep
in the shallow rivers of life.

Your socks get wet
when you have forgotten your shoes
as you walk
through the waters of fears and horrors.

You look down at your feet
to observe the soaked condition of your socks
and what you find is a mixture of black and red.

It takes you a moment to realize
that what you are seeing is
the deepness of alone.
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white is a blank hole
that is filled with cotton
to soak up the darkness of the blue
which is the waters of hatred
and a small touch of unrecieved love
this shatters the aqua marine
of the precious stones
buried deep
under the burning desires
of the frozen alaskan tundra
laid beneath
the dark blood red streams
of evil spirits
that flows through my veins
so soundless and unpenatrating

i have to mention that there technically was a third co-writer

although all she only contributed the words "blue" and "soundless"

i wouldnt feel right not giving her writers credit

her name is Autumn Windsor
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a pale face in the dark

a blurry smear of white
pauses at my window
ducking out of sight when i take notice

i hide beside the curtain
praying not to die
as i gather my courage

jumping out quick i stare
seeing the pale face outside
i tremble with fear

i stand there gazing
at eerie obsidian eyes that never waver
and as i reach up to stifle a scream............

my reflection does the same
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My shattered innocence spills across the floor
proving to the world what has been done
everything comes crashing down
injustice has this day won.

I feel so weak and powerless
as you beat, batter, destroy
I cant fight your incoherent rage
my fate I cannot avoid.

This has broken my heart
killed all my childhood dreams
twisted pleasure into pain
my tears run in silver streams.

But in your perverted mind
nothing has gone amiss
you came and you conquered
flinging me into the abyss.
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dying thoughts

I have been murdered
my body screams its agony.
My brain, however, does not want to except it.
I keep thinking about what to cook tonight,
whether or not I bought soap,
is the dogs vet appointment tomorrow?

I have a hole in my gut.
My blood is pouring onto the street,
and all I can think about is the dry cleaning.
I need to call my mom back.
Was the kids soccer practice cancelled ?

My bladder relieved itself
as soon as the bullet tore into me.
And the piss running down my leg
reminded me that I forgot to get toilet paper.

My pulse is weak as I lay here
in a puddle of my own blood and urine.
My nose wrinkles.
What a rotten stench,
the mixing of those two particular smells.

With that thought
my brain finally grasp the situation.
Oh my God, I’m dying!!!
I feel light, almost floating ,
And then I…………..
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the poetry pages; my home

i have been taunted by others
called a freak
put down for putting ink to parchment
and writing with a fury unmatched
so I hunted for a special place
an open market to display my wares
desperately hoping that some one out in the world
could comprehend my heart and soul
i have found this elusive sanctuary
a place to turn from the overbearing cruelty of others
a haven where they cant abuse my written words
my port in which to whether the storm
here is where I can release my demons
or dance alongside angels
i gaze at the testimonies of others
and try to be the balm to soothe their open wounds

the poetry pages; my home
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a letter to my real mother

This poem is posted in the Blind Pig forum.
This link will take ya there.
Enjoy!! ... 67&t=54610

rivers create pools

red rivers
traverse the wastelands
known as my flesh
trickling forth
from hot springs
unearthed by gouging steel
cutting paths
as they go
for more to follow flowing freely
easing downward
toward the pool
collecting on the floor
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what women do for men

we primp and simper
then change our hair
we work and slave
yall don’t seem to care
we wear tight clothes
to see your smiles
we worry about size
so we walk miles
we emulate models
which turn your head
we ask what you think
you leave things unsaid
we try desperately
to be what you want
we lose ourselves
yet still you taunt
we ask outright
beg and plead
we can change
what do you need
we do all this
becoming a lie
yet still
we cannot satisfy
we are women
doing all we can
to hold the attention
of our man
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untitled #25

This poem is posted in the "Adult" Poetry and Prose forum.
This link will take ya there.
Enjoy!!! ... 10&t=54633
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Death does his job

a small sound breaks the silence
bending the airwaves and making my heart race
just a polite little cough and still i shake
i should investigate but i already know who it is
he has finally come for me
he stands behind my chair
patiently waiting for me to turn around
but i cant seem to move
i feel frozen to my chair
and then suddenly i think
how terrible this must be for him
collecting all of us mortals
this thought motivates my movement
and as i swing around to gaze upon his rather ordinary face
he gives me a sad little smile
"so sorry my friend," he whispers, " just doing my job"
now how many times have i said that, i muse
we clasp hands and as i depart
his eyes become liquid with emotion
he mutters once more,"so sorry my friend"
then i leave him behind
i am headed toward my destiny
a great thing which he will never know
because this job is eternal
and Death does his job
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This poem is posted in the "Adult" Poetry and Prose forum.
This link will take ya there.
Enjoy!!!! ... 10&t=54650
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all about you

terrible anger
causes me despair
and yet you still
claim you do love me
love me as you always have
but I can not see how that
is possible when all you can seem to
do is yell and scream at me and your
son even though your daughter can never do any wrong
you throw our feelings aside as if they don’t
exist and cant possibly be of any consequence
simply because our emotions conflict with yours
and god help us all if
mr armstrong isn’t happy cause
everything is supposed to
be all about
little old
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word vomit

I vomit words all day long

fury anger
Wrath temper
ire frenzy

Thinking that I do no wrong

stir fuss
uproar ruckus
thrill buzz

What I say could never bring

declaration claim
accusation assertion
contention charge

The end of almost everything

end conclusion
close completion
finale cessation
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truth and lies

how do we tell the truth from lies
when lies abound
and all truths are a compromise
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a psychos confession

a voice spoke to me
inside my head
telling me everything
and I… I couldn’t fight it
that voice was so convincing
it whispered………….

poor sweet innocent baby
did something go wrong?
did you not get your way
is that why you are crying so hard
your man left you didn’t he
said you couldn’t satisfy
why are you picking up that knife
you know you don’t have the guts to do it to yourself
he left you
for someone else
shouldn’t you punish him
instead of yourself?
call him over
say he needs to get his things
is he coming?
that’s real good
now wait in your room
you can hear him coming up the stairs
he is opening the door….

and then I ….
it was like
watching a movie slow motion
my arm wasn’t mine
but some enraged actresses

her arm made a wide arch as she
brought the cold and flashing steel down
pushing it in with all her might
blood pours down his chest and legs
leaking onto the floor and ruining the white carpet
she is still griping the knife tightly
as his lifeless body slumps to the floor
she looks at the weapon in her hands with confusion
and watches’ as the crimson liquid down her arm
she then throws her head back and laughs
but the laughter quickly changes to sobs

as the painful memories flooded back
that voice spoke up again
and crooned into my open and waiting mind……

poor baby
you are no longer sweet and innocent
you just killed the only man you ever loved
and it still hurts doesn’t it
that’s because his whore is still out there
why don’t you go show her what happens when
someone wrecks your life
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the pleasure in pain

This poem is posted in the "Adult" poetry and Prose forum.
This link will take you there.
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interview with death

i dislike what I do
and i cant even say that I do it for a living
technically im not alive
everyday i send people on to their final destination
and everyday i wish i was one of them
finding some peace
or being punished
either way id take it
but instead
i do my job
as i have since the dawn of time
i dont know why everyone tries to run from me
and the way i am portrayed
the grim reaper and other such nonsense
im not the bad guy
speak to God about that one
sick sense of humor there folks
he created a being
who couldnt die
to bring others over to their deaths
seeing them leave
knowing they can move on
and here i stay
wandering the earth
day in
day out
doing my eternal job
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pursuing happiness

do you remember
chasing dreams as a child
that single minded pursuit
of something to make you happy
discarded once in hand
tossed aside like yesterdays trash

we don’t evolve much
our dreams become schemes
we plot and connive
committing underhanded deeds
just to relinquish that acquisition
for which we so murderously strive

why don’t we learn
to like what we have
we are never happy
with “the bird in the hand”
but constantly chase the “two in the bush”
knowing they will fly away

the pursuit of happiness
is just that
a pursuit
but chasing happiness does not mean
it can be captured or detained
nor can you expect
happiness to remain
the pursuit is the end unto itself
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emotional constipation

people repress their feelings
way to often
emotional constipation
will land you in a coffin
please just take a laxative
have a little laugh
you could think about your auntie
when shes in the bath
or maybe an enema
is actually what you need
flushing out your system
helps set your feelings free
go get a colonoscopy
find out if youre just fine
you can cry, scream, or holler
if the terror is not benign
i know this wont be easy
and you have lots of doubts
so for the emotionally constipated
i hope it all works out
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untitled #18

like a snake
coiled before the strike
i sit and wait
clutching my knife
lick the edge for luck
tilt my head
you approach
a scream rips through the night
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my unicorn

An evasive little critter,
my unicorn.
She hides within dark spaces,
refusing to budge,
at least till I give chase.
Then she flees with such swift grace,
knowing that I cant follow.

Trails of stardust dance off her hooves,
lighting up all the patches of gloom
as she passes.
Revealing past happenstances.
I glory in each discovery
for those few precious seconds,
as she prances there.
Until the light once again dims
and she is safely out of reach.

I chase this magnificent beast daily.
Round and round we go.
I don’t suppose I’ll ever catch her,
but that’s what happen as we age.
She will forever more elude me.
My unicorn, my memory.
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a prayer to the night goddess

blessed be the darkness
that envelopes me
now in her eternal embrace
blessed be the sanctuary
she provides
with her cloak that conceals
blessed be her eyes
which swallow me
now in their depths
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rain falls in torrents
crashing against all surfaces
uncaring, unyielding
simply adding to my torment

flesh becomes soaked and cold
matching inner miseries
all becomes liquid, unstable
a uniform gray world, unbold

cheeks feel suddenly warm
touch them, hope for redemption
but alas only tears
no comfort from this storm
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pitch black
oppressive nothingness weighing on my soul
sounds take shape and smells identify surroundings
gentle whir of machinery and urine
hearing your voice
“i am here!!”, i scream
but my lips don’t even twitch
still locked in this cage
wanting to claw my way out
but my arms don’t respond
don’t leave me like this..
please just pull the plug….
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love and pain

love and pain
life’s greatest mysteries
all stem from these similar emotions
they feed on you
and you them
a symbiotic set of creatures
for they have life
but cannot live without us
and we live
but have no life without them
love and pain
life’s greatest mysteries
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tiny little drop
splashes down upon my face
spring is here at last
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twisting their way through my mind
they writher around
choking the life out of my morality
giving me a glimpse of what could be
you lying naked on the floor
a crimson tide poring from your veins
your broken body dances behind my closed eyes
fulfilling a prophecy being burned into my brain
hate snakes tendrils round my thoughts
burning you to cinders
images in my heart and soul
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This poem is posted in the "Adult" poetry and Prose forum.
This link will take you there.
Hope you enjoy!!!
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a fulfilled vow

life has lost its charm
so I slowly slide across my arm
a blade so fine and sharp
as his words were to my heart

delving deep into my flesh
sweat and blood freely mesh
erasing all the tears and pain
while endorphins bubble in my brain

but this relief is not enough
his heart has proved to be to tough
i need a way to be released
these inner torments must be ceased

i slash once, then some more
as my tears fall to the floor
take a breath then cut again
the world begins to tilt and spin

freedom is coming for me now
its time to go, I gave my vow
to ease the suffering of my heart
my dearly beloved, we now part
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slipping into madness

try not to breathe
its so easy to bleed
wonderful to feel the pain slip away
falling to the floor
with the crimson tide that pushes forth
all of the poison drains
still leaving you insane
you cant seem to see
the world hasnt stopped
and still you keep up the razors march
slipping into madness

turn your head away
tears slip down your face
he hasnt noticed yet
that crazy is now your true name
gripped by something stronger
his fever burns
leaving you to yourself
feeling so alone
silently you dance with the blade
slipping into madness
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rending of the mind

wounded souls make rending sounds
as pieces flutter down
and shatter on the barren ground
a thought so wonderfully profound
echos inside
an empty mind
taking no time to find
a shelter from the daily grind
but breeding pain
staying insane
controlling everybody’s brain
while wounded souls search in vain
for a little piece of hope
needing a way to cope
with the hangman’s heavy rope
beginning its nasty final grope
ripping to shreds
their ragged edge
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killing me again

This poem is posted in the Adult Poetry and Prose forum.
This link will take you there.
I hope you enjoy!!!

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courage from hatred

i reach inside my heart
finding nothing
grasping frantically for reality
needing something
i plead for help
nearly screaming
but no one answers
probably dreaming
oh my poor heart
beating faster
running in vain
leaving master

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sweet release

take all your pain
slit that pulsing vein
that tiny trickle feels so grand
slipping down past your hand
delicately dripping on the floor
you crave release and beg for more
peel back layers of skin
loving it again and again
pouring out in a flood
deliberately draining that precious blood
eases all of your distress
reaching out for Deaths caress

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in remembrance of a true southern belle

another day passes
as each must
and here i sit thinking of you

you were so sweet
a perfect southern belle
a real gentle lady

you spoke of things gone by
and shed tears
missing everyone deeply

now we sit and weep
missing you
and all of your dear chatter

i wish you the best
Aunt Agnus darling
i know your with our beloved departed

my heart aches
but still i smile
in remembrance of a true southern belle

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you ignore my dreams
with the utmost ease
whats wrong with me
do i have a disease?

as love redeems
so hatred seethes
you try to break me
what is this disease?

can you hear my screams
as i try to please
i know you hate me
am i the disease?

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your pain

trying to reach your mind
is like reaching into a hornets nest
knowing I’ll be stung
doesn’t stop my unrest
encasing yourself in stone
you feel like you’ve done what’s best
cutting yourself off
has put our love to the test
realizing your pain runs so deep
is like a dagger in my chest
feeling your mental angst
breaks the heart beneath my breast

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your broken body hit’s the floor
a slight thud the only sound in the room
you are now only a useless husk
i step over you for i am finished
forgotten instantly the gratification
a new temptation awaits me
and i am a slave to my inner urges
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all hail the queen

my dark queen beckons
drawing me into her sweet embrace
teaching me the ways of night
darkness enfolds me
drawing me into her sweet embrace
a powerful temptation
she whispers to compel me
promising sheer ecstasy
false and untrue her heart is
caught inside her web
thrashing but there’s no escape
i’m trapped by my ambitions
she watches my struggles
laughing ever so softly
then moving on to her next victim
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silk on sandpaper

This poem is in the Adult Poetry and Prose forum.
Please follow the link below and enjoy!

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changing from brilliant green to brown
falling softly from our lofty heights
summer wanes into fall
hitting the now cold ground

ignored instead of praised
no longer in our full bloom
walked on and crushed carelessly
all of you unfazed

and so ends our worldly duty
our time comes to an end
as the old year turns into the new
we give up our grace and beauty

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This poem is posted in the Adult Poetry and Prose forum.
Please follow the link below and enjoy!!

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insane addiction

smoke pours out
tendrils wrap around lungs
squeezing tight

chemicals pour out
tendrils wrap around brain cells
squeezing tight

its killing me
cancer probabilities rise
i dont want to die

its killing me
needing this coffin nail
i dont want to die

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debt hands you a shovel

Dig, dig, dig….
A hole and toss yourself right in
Dig, dig, dig…….
For dreams and let your life begin
Dig, dig, dig….
for years and lose all of your pride
Dig, dig, dig…..
Some more and wish that you have died
Dig, dig, dig….
For hope and search for a way out
Dig, dig, dig…..
To deep and begin to scream and shout
Dig, dig, dig….
So long you lose sight of the sun
Dig, dig, dig….
Rest in peace, now you are finally done

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the act or process
of remembering
someone or something
take a look back
see the wreckage
i left behind
is it as it should be
have I affected
this world
in ways
i wanted to
did everything
go as planned
no broken Hearts
only one
made whole
not many
as a whole
two new lives
brought into the world
so yes
the act or process
of remembering
someone or something
the world is
as it should be

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society is inhumane

down there
on the corner
sit’s a man
a cup
in one hand
cardboard sign
in the other
his sign proclaims
“Down on my Luck”
so he gives
a closed lip grin
as they pass
begging for change
a lonely quarter
hit’s the cup
and he grimaces
at the jangle
showing off
his rotten teeth
i think
its such a pity
makes me sick
to think about
so I toss a dollar
don’t want to
see those teeth again

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cant you let me rest in peace
let me lay here and sleep
leave my body lying in its here hole six foot deep
i love you and I need you
but cant I have some sweet release
leave me be to rest in peace

cant you let me rest in peace
leave my mind and heart alone
get me blessed by a priest
say a few prayers for me
and give me bliss so deep
im begging down on bended knee
just let me rest in peace

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again and again

This poem is in the Adult Poetry and Prose forum. Please
follow this link to enjoy, thanks!

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you are insecure, dear

build me up
break me down
world keeps on spinning

touch me sweet
beat me up
world keeps on spinning

in a moment of clarity
i see that you
are no good for me
but i cant seem
to live and breathe
without your twisted tendancies

freeze me out
burn me up
world keeps on spinning

save my heart
rip it out
world keeps on spinning

now in the hour
i have feared
but secretly yearned for
you end my pain
and my torture
for you a merciful act

slit my throat
break my neck
world keeps on spinning

dig the hole
bury me deep
the world keeps on spinning

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Last edited by psychotic pretender on Sun Nov 20, 2011 6:27 pm, edited 1 time in total.
/My first thought was, he lied in every word,
That hoary cripple, with malicious eye
...... And yet
Dauntless the slug-horn to my lips I set,
And blew. ``Childe Roland to the Dark Tower came.''

Childe Roland to the Dark Tower Came

Robert Browning 1812-1889

User avatar
psychotic pretender
Mistress of Shadows
Posts: 476
Joined: Sat Dec 15, 2007 11:59 am
Location: wadley alabama

Re: psychotic pretender

Post by psychotic pretender » Fri Jun 03, 2011 2:54 pm


(89)every other line
(90)the you i know
(91)what now
(92)a little goes a long way
(93)single simpleton
(96)love and lust
(97)feel you
(98)the brink
(99)goodbye Jeff
(102)desperate housewife
(103)happy new year yall

every other line

we who suffer
you who gain
nothing ever measures up
no one who is sane
treasures every moment
laughs at others pain
doomed to wander
exists as our bane
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the you i know

jasmine and verbena
mixed with moonlight
tangy and sweet
perfectly delicious delight
i breathe you in
sweet smells
the aroma of you
i know so well

whispering my name
you beckon me
your words “my love”
undo me
i hear you clearly
melodious bells
the sound of you
i know so well

silky skin
satin for hair
as for your body
i simply stare
i touch you gently
flesh swells
the feel of you
i know so well
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what now

one man for eternity
pledged my heart
til death do us part
now his end is fulfilled
he complied with the deal
and with my last living breath
i completed my vows with my death

even though he cant know
and he has to let me go
i will love him forever
for worse or for better
and he will move on with his life
find himself another wife

not sure now what to do
my family found someone new
and though their happiness means so much
it still hurts being unable to touch
to hear them laugh and see them cry
oh God why didnt i just die?
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a little goes a long way

just a trickle on the floor
just a trickle
not much more
a tiny splatter on the wall
a tiny splatter
oh so small
a little drizzle like red rain
a little drizzle
with lots of pain
those few drops everywhere
those few drops
not much to spare
a tiny trickle just once more
that tiny trickle
floods the floor
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single simpleton
as if in a dream
a catch a gleam
in the corner of my eye
from her ring
damn the thing
i give a lusty sigh
if I dare
and grow a pair
shed probably just walk by
those luscious lips
and gorgeous hips
belong to another guy
but damn my feet
they walk to the beat
of the blood pounding in my ears
i touch her arm
turn on the charm
and realize my worst fears
for she has a man
he’s tall and tan
and mean as home made sin
he looks and me
and grins with glee
i get a beating once again
my wandering eyes
have not grown wise
in all my many years
women with rings
are damning things
and cause nothing but pain and tears
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am i really
the one you love?
shouldnt you
show me affection?

cant be me
the one you love,
because you
show only defection.

do you know
how i feel?
can you
know my heartache?

you dont see
how i feel,
because you
dont see my heart break.
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fall fades into winter
night time comes to soon
sunrises cool and crisp
if you make it through nights gloom

winter melts into spring
smell of earth abounds
frozen dirt brings in new life
as the sun thaws out the ground

spring leaks into summer
humid, unbearable heat
all run for air conditioning
with ever dragging feet

summer breathes into fall
cool breezes soon delight
another year closes
upon an autumn night
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love and lust

young love burns bright
to painful to stare
but turn your back
and its no longer there
young lust burns hot
forbidden desires
turn your back
and get engulfed by the fires

first loves eyes implore
and sweet lips taste
first love is painful
as arms embrace
first lusts eyes swallow
and lips devour
first lust is painful
but full of power

true love binds forever
lust breaks in days
true love trusts blindly
lust always betrays
find your love
give her your heart
forget whorish lust
she’ll soon depart
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feel you
This poem is in the Adult Poetry and Prose forum.
You can veiw it at the following link
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the brink
This poem is in the Adult Poetry and Prose forum.
You can veiw it at the following link
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goodbye Jeff
So terrible
The loss
The endless pain
Losing a loved one

So young
To soon
No sense
Why is he gone

Poor man
His wife
His kids
Left behind to grieve

So sad
My cousin
Loved you
Rest in peace

My cousin Jeff died yesterday on December 1st 2011 at 5 o'clock. he was a good man.....a great friend......a wonderful cousin.......a loving father.....a faithful husband. May he find peace.
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your hands reach out
oh how you touch me
somehow your essence
surrounds my own
giving blessed comfort
to one so undeserving
pure ecstasy
with no sound or caress
joy where none should be found
sweet nothings uttered
by those fascinating lips
and i know
this mystery needs no unraveling
i am happily bound
to the keeper of the souls

your fists lash out
oh how you beat me
somehow your essence
drowns out own
giving bloody nightmares
to one so undeserving
pure terror
with screams and broken bones
hateful lies uttered
by those deceitful lips
and i know
this mystery needs no unraveling
so I stay forever at your mercy
i am heinously bound
to the keeper of the souls
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slowly sliding down the slender white column of your throat
flowing freely from the perforated skin on your oh so delicate arms
a pitiful victim of a senseless crime, in desperate need of help
yet all I see is that particular shade that drives me mad
and a scent unlike any before slipping over my tongue with each breath
crimson droplets bead on your flesh, beckoning me
i dare not to venture any closer
yet still I can not turn away
so easy it would be to take what I want and need
to hold you in my monstrous embrace
and so difficult it is to keep my distance and keep you safe
even with the blood lust burning in my brain I find that ironic, the safety
because every pulse of your heart sends another spurt of that rich liquid
enticing me, inciting me, driving me to the brink and
i don’t know if this can last
crimson, the color paints my vision
to taste that scent and to know that heaven
would be to realize my own personal hell
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desperate housewife
This poem is posted in the Adult poetry and Prose forum.
Follow this link to read it
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happy new year yall
old year is winding down
each of us will choose to close
2011 in our own way
thats how the story goes
we gather to us our family
hold each other tight
as the seconds count down
at the end of this night
or, some will decide
that drinking is the thing
partying with our buds
singing dancing and finally puking
either way you go
quite night or the booze
watch out for cops, be safe and smart
and in this new year you wont lose
and now my little scribble
has come to an end
from alabama to all of yall
happy new year my dearest friends
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Last edited by psychotic pretender on Wed Nov 30, 2011 9:26 am, edited 8 times in total.
/My first thought was, he lied in every word,
That hoary cripple, with malicious eye
...... And yet
Dauntless the slug-horn to my lips I set,
And blew. ``Childe Roland to the Dark Tower came.''

Childe Roland to the Dark Tower Came

Robert Browning 1812-1889

User avatar
The Fat Cat
Posts: 8419
Joined: Tue Dec 18, 2001 12:01 am
Tag line: Do no harm
Location: Novato, CA

Re: psychotic pretender

Post by heinzs » Fri Jun 03, 2011 4:54 pm

Good job on this archive. I wish everyone could do this... lol.
An' it harm none, do what ye will. Blessed Be.
My Poet's Page Archive | Topics I've started

User avatar
psychotic pretender
Mistress of Shadows
Posts: 476
Joined: Sat Dec 15, 2007 11:59 am
Location: wadley alabama

Re: psychotic pretender

Post by psychotic pretender » Fri Jun 03, 2011 5:58 pm

this one had started acting wonky, i guess there is too many on one post

you dont think it looks weird like this?
/My first thought was, he lied in every word,
That hoary cripple, with malicious eye
...... And yet
Dauntless the slug-horn to my lips I set,
And blew. ``Childe Roland to the Dark Tower came.''

Childe Roland to the Dark Tower Came

Robert Browning 1812-1889

User avatar
The Fat Cat
Posts: 8419
Joined: Tue Dec 18, 2001 12:01 am
Tag line: Do no harm
Location: Novato, CA

Re: psychotic pretender

Post by heinzs » Fri Jun 03, 2011 8:32 pm

Nope. It's great!
An' it harm none, do what ye will. Blessed Be.
My Poet's Page Archive | Topics I've started

User avatar
psychotic pretender
Mistress of Shadows
Posts: 476
Joined: Sat Dec 15, 2007 11:59 am
Location: wadley alabama

Re: psychotic pretender

Post by psychotic pretender » Tue Jun 07, 2011 4:27 pm

thanks heinz
/My first thought was, he lied in every word,
That hoary cripple, with malicious eye
...... And yet
Dauntless the slug-horn to my lips I set,
And blew. ``Childe Roland to the Dark Tower came.''

Childe Roland to the Dark Tower Came

Robert Browning 1812-1889

User avatar
The Fat Cat
Posts: 8419
Joined: Tue Dec 18, 2001 12:01 am
Tag line: Do no harm
Location: Novato, CA

Re: psychotic pretender

Post by heinzs » Tue Jun 07, 2011 5:02 pm

There is a limit of a certain number of lines in a post, and I'm never sure how many that is until I reach the place where is goes "wonky" as you said. You can create the post offline in Word and paste it in.
An' it harm none, do what ye will. Blessed Be.
My Poet's Page Archive | Topics I've started

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