<a name="#top">Table of Contents</a>
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<a href="#001"> Boy Named Chad </a>
<a href="#002"> Across the Desert </a>
<a href="#003"> Leaving College </a>
<a href="#004">Long Distance Love</a>
<a href="#005"> My Fallen Star </a>
<a href="#006"> One Week Left </a>
<a href="#007"> My Unbeating Heart </a>
<a href="#008"> No Butterfly </a>
<a href="#009"> wishin' </a>
<a href="#010">Lonliness </a>
<a href="#011"> Neon Lights </a>
<a href="#012"> Forever </a>
<a href="#013"> My Redwood </a>
<a href="#014"> Living </a>
<a href="#015"> Phone Call </a>
<a href="#016"> Measured Memories </a>
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<a name="#001"> Boy Named Chad </a>
there once was a boy named chad
an itailan suasage was what he had
he thought he was a pimp
but then he went limp
now sex with him is real bad
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<a name="#002"> Across the Desert </a>
This is a poem my boyfriend wrote me, after alot of convincing on my part he's letting me post it to see what everyone thinks thanks guys
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I woke up blinking,
under the imposing glare of the Sun,
hills of surronding,
and the roaring voice of no one.
The journey lasts forever
and I find it hard to breathe,
for life slowly fades
with every dull wheeze.
My soul is weary;
the future is grim,
and the mirages I yearn for
grow progressively dim.
I know the distant horizon,
is keeping me alive,
for when i reach this horizon,
I know I'll survive.
Though how far the distance,
I know now at all,
but I hope that I reach it,
Brefore my body shall fall.
Suddenly, all is bright
and the air is clear.
My mind is unfolding;
I fear Death may be near.
An image appears
and my scars are now fleeing,
upon coming close
to this celestial being.
Supple skin
and tender physique,
with a feeling so warm,
makes my mind go weak.
Adorned in golden glass
are two azure gates
from some other existence
that only God would create.
They mirror the ocean;
Cool, calm, life-giving serene,
and all in their gaze
become pure and pristine.
Her locks: like the sun
as it sets in the West,
like the long sigh of relief
When the nemesis is at rest.
Her name is Krista.
The word transcends space.
Her bell-like voice
rivals the beauty of her face.
But beneath the jewels
and the Markings of Old,
shines a radiant force,
embroidered in gold.
Her soul, like a translucent sphere,
gleams with a creating light,
and enlightens my own,
letting spirit take flight.
I think I finally died,
or I'm somewhere above,
but it's all worth the while
to be part of this Love.
- A.E.A
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<a name="#003"> Leaving College </a>
Tear drops landing in the palm of your hand,
I guess it’s time to let our horizons expand,
Except you won’t be by my side.
Time to watch the stars collide-
Into the planets, ‘cause that’s how my heart feels tonight.
Don’t say anything, just hold me tight-
So I can feel your heart beats-
Ring inside my ears long after you’re gone, so I can remember why you make me complete.
It was the little things that made me fall in love with you,
Now this test of time is going to prove if that love is true.
While I walk in the shadows I’ll look for your silhouette in the sun,
See how long it’ll take me to come undone.
Long nights and short days,
Ragged breathing and that foggy haze-
That will cloud my mind to keep me from constantly thinking about you.
This isn’t good bye, it’s only adieu,
Just remember I love you.
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<a name="#004">Long Distance Love</a>
Whispers of tears
Adorned in sequined gowns
Dancing down my cheek.
A whirlwind of paper flowers
Floating gracefully around me.
Feeling homesick for your arms
And your heart,
Most of all for your soul.
My body frozen in time
Only inches from your kiss.
Realms of loneliness
Leading to the gates of Hell.
Your angeleyes
Silently calling me home.
Refracted memories,
Broken promises,
Late night phone calls,
unwritten love letters,
All the things that make up
This long distance love.
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<a name="#005"> My Fallen Star </a>
The night crashes into the horizon, in its ashy haste
It stealthily reaches and grabs the sparkles from the ocean to decorate its hair
It licks the waves and says it remembers that taste-
From you tears, and says the reason it’s dark out is because you’re lost in despair.
I wish I had some stick-on stars to attach to my ceiling
So I wouldn’t have to continue to stare into the blankness of your eyes
I wish when I cried, you understood the feeling.
And I can only look at you with contempt when you ask why the moon even bothers to rise.
We walk along the sand; you cover the footsteps that we leave behind
You say no one will remember us anyway
That we’re nothing but a pebble getting lapped up by the waves, that everything must unwind.
That in this world nothing is immortal, nothing stays.
But that pebble gets polished by the water and turns into a gem
And the moon has been there forever; even your eyes held stars in them at one time
But they fell from your eyes, like Lucifer from Heaven, now hatred stems.
“Penny for your thoughts”, hell I’ll give you a dime-
Just to hear one word of compassion,
Towards the girl you used to love.
But I’ve faded like the last fall’s fashion.
And tell when was the last time you thought of-
Me right before you drifted off to sleep?
Before your pale eyelids flutter into that place where your subconscious runs free, that place off afar-
I tried to leave you but these golden weaved chains tie me back, I guess I’m in too deep.
But I don’t know how to help you anymore, my fallen star.
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<a name="#006"> One Week Left </a>
Only one week left, but I have so much more to say
Only one week left, and much to my dismay-
I’ll no longer be able to taste your lingering kiss,
And it’s your soul that I’m going to miss.
Don’t change too much while you’re in that place,
And please don’t forget my face.
Don’t forget to look at those stars at night
And remember how I held you tight-
And that I love you,
And when you come back, my eyes will still be that same green hue.
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<a name="#007"> My Unbeating Heart </a>
the wind strikes my back hard, ever pushing me onward, pushing me towards the unknown
its iciness makes the path slick, i slip
catching my balance i look into your eyes
and they hold but a flicker of remembrance of me
my eyes water the ground, maybe they'll produce something worthwhile
but the saltiness stings the earth,
it burrows deep, like this confusion burrowing inside my soul.
My heart whispers the words i dont know the meaning of
and if only you were here again tonight
but i still wouldnt say whats on my mind
because my brain says you'll leave me
you'll find someone new
and i could never get better than what stands before me
so my lips stay unmoving
while the breeze ripples the blinds
and all i hear is your breathing
and my heart breaking
and i know you could never comprehend the tears i shed like blood
scarlet red
dripping from me
and i'm sorry i cant say i love you
i'm sorry that i stained the carpet
the wind sounds hollow
and you're not here, so no one's breathing
and my tears are caught in the wind
just like my soul
Jesus' people nailed him to the cross
just like you did my heart
but thats ok
i never felt it beating before you anyways
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<a name="#008"> No Butterfly </a>
The feelings I hide from you
The words I can’t say, like how my heart is becoming askew.
Or like how these tears are stinging my eyes,
But I can’t show them to you, I have to wear this disguise.
‘Cause you say you love me-
With the burning passion of all of Jupiter’s moons, you say I own your key
But how do I tell you I have my doubts and you deserve better? How can I let my heart be exposed?
My tears form the words, but my lips stay closed.
We were running on the same course, but I somehow lost my way.
I tried to find the path back to you, but my heart went astray.
The midnight hours of passion shriveled down to nothing more than a good night kiss.
I felt your eyes start sinking into my abyss.
I’ll try to save you while I can, I’ll cut these strings before you wrap them too tight around my neck.
Before I become a love sick wreck,
Before you get lost in the emotion I can’t return,
Before you start to burn-
In the fires of my heart, in the fires of my pain.
Before my tears start to drown you like the rain.
I’m trying to help you can’t you see?
The barriers of my soul have confined you; I’m trying to set you free.
I lost my footing and I’m starting to slip-
Further from this delusion we call reality, further from your unyielding grip.
You placed me too high upon that pedestal; you know mountains tend to tumble-
Down into the deep ravines, and when you say you love me I can only mumble-
I’m sorry you had to be a victim of fate, that your heart got singed in those fiery moons.
My soul plummets back into its icy cocoon-
Feeding off of the salt that is left dried on my cheeks, trying to dethaw,
And yearning to become that beautiful butterfly façade that you thought you saw.
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<a name="#009"> wishin' </a>
Wishin’ I could feel like I used to
But I know that’s all in the past
And we can never recapture the past nor foretell the future
But live in this hellish present
That has no soul or depth
The present that doesn’t give a damn
The present that I’ve been lost in for years
The present that has no recognition of my face
And even less of my dreams
hopes were washed away with the rains
And so was my existence
Wishin never got me very far
And yet that’s all I have left
Wishin’ and dreamin’
For something that I may never possess
For something I know nothing of
Keep your head in the clouds dream girl
Maybe the sun’s rays will bounce off the clouds and blind you
Blind you from the world we live in
World filled with hatred and despair,
Of loneliness and greed
Maybe your wishes will come true
I only hope you don’t turn into what I always feared I would become
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<a name="#010">Lonliness </a>
Loneliness grips my face and brushes a teardrop from my eyes,
While you’re hanging those smiling lies upon your wall,
Twirl around the dance floor one more time-
With my heart fondly stuck underneath your shoe,
Like yesterday’s gum.
Suspended in time,
As if in a delirious fever-ridden dream,
Your heart beats still linger ,
And then the silence over takes everything.
Left alone again-
In the darkness of my mind,
In the emptiness of my soul.
Waiting in the depths of my heart-
Is our life together,
But the doors are slowly latching shut,
And I can feel the noose wrap tighter around my neck-
Cutting me off from you.
Forever was but an instance,
But now a second is an eternity,
And your soft spoken words no longer reach my deafening ears.
Numbed by the presence of no one,
And exhilarated by the sound of tear drops hitting the floor
Because it means part of me is still alive.
You didn’t know you pulled the trigger, did you?
You didn’t know you left me in this icy haven.
Yet I still wrap my wearied body inside your clothes,
But your ghostly presence doesn’t come about anymore,
And I lay about, drowning silently in my tears.
It’s here I shall perish.
For a love lost,
Is not yet to be forgotten.
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