Jade

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Jade
The Pages Passionate Princess
Posts: 270
Joined: Sat May 22, 2004 6:15 pm
Location: North Carolina, USA

Jade

Post by Jade » Sun Jun 20, 2004 10:24 am

<center>JADE'S POEMS
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<a name="#"top">TABLE OF CONTENTS</a>

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<a href="#fifteen"> Fighting the Fear </a>
<a href="#sixteen"> I will fight </a>
<a href="#seventeen"> Upon Your Grave </a>
<a href="#eighteen"> Ashamed </a>


<a href="#general">General</a>

<a href="#one"> Untitled </a>
<a href="#two"> Remembering Then </a>

<a href="#mature">General mature</a>

<a href="#three"> "Stranger" </a>
<a href="#four"> "Bitter Rainbows" </a>
<a href="#five"> "With Dying Blood" </a>

<a href="#spiritual">Spiritual Or Inspirational</a>

<a href="#six"> "Can You Pray" </a>
<a href="#seven"> "Islam"</a>

<a href="#romance">Love And Romance</a>

<a href="#eight"> "Dance To Me" </a>
<a href="#nine"> "Broken Snow Globe" </a>

<a href="#tribute">In Tribute</a>

<a href="#ten"> "Do Not Give In" [For Jen- Jhanke] </a>

<a href="#prose">Prose And Stories</a>

<a href="#eleven"> The first chapter to my book </a>

<a href="#haiku">Haiku</a>

<a href="#twelve"> "Dying" </a>
<a href="#thirteen"> "Witness To Love" </a>
<a href="#fourteen"> "Don't Hit Me" </a>

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<a name="#general">
General</a>

Image

<a name="#one"> Untitled </a>

To be unheard
To be disturbed
Can't scream aloud
One singel word
To bow your head
in utter shame
To be the one
to taint your name
With your teary eyes tired
You need to feel the love
The heat
The fire
Unknowingly crave
The sunshine
of a better day
To place your feet
on rock strong ground
To never again
need to cower down
Ignoring the knowledge
That two become one
Beholden together
By the bind
of your son
Taken to passions
Yet never explored
Walking dark paths
to unlock the doors
holding you in
Pinning you down
With his tender kiss
Your key has been found.

I couldn't really think of a great ending for this... I get upset with the poem where it is in bold. I don't really think that it is good. Any help? I am in a writer's block.

Originally posted at: untitled

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______________________

<a name="#two"> Remembering Then </a>

Beauty and elegance
Like rivers in Maine
Priceless forever
My memories the same.
Timeless moments
Of laughter in the clouds
Now this PIERCING silence
Is suddenly so loud.
But my heart remembers when
Smiles were texas wide
When your cheeks were colored scarlet
And your happiness bubbled up inside
Thats how I want to remember
Keeping those memories in my mind like new.
Those are the things I'll think of
Everytime I think of you.

Originally posted at: "Remembering Then"

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______________________

<a name="#mature">General mature</a>

<a name="#three"> "Stranger" </a>

Its funny how well they know me
I was raised by their screams
I grew strong by his fist
I learned how to cry hiding from them
Its funny how well they know me
How they know exactly what to do
To make me rage inside with anger
And tremble inside with fear
Its funny how well they know me
when I've never been allowed
to voice my own opinion
I dreaded coming home
so I locked myself into my studies
Its funny how well they know me
I cowered away in my room
first from fright
Then from hate
Its funny how well they know me
Cause I've been here all my life
And they don't even know who I am

Originally posted at: "Stranger"

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______________________

<a name="#four"> "Bitter Rainbows" </a>

With winterful worries
And raw site for bread
Filled with simple wishes
To avoid the mortal red
With potent reality
To stample all his dreams
His kindred blood beats cold
Behind his desperate screams
Tell me why the fenced in life
For such a poor man to lead
Will sun shine through bitter rainbows
Before his night begins to bleed

------------------------------

This is full of symbolism. No one in my family understood it before I explained it. If you would like I would be more than happy to give an explanation.

Originally posted at: "Bitter Rainbows"

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______________________

<a name="#five"> "With Dying Blood" </a>

I'm tired of fighting
I'm tired of dying
I'm tired of lying here alone
Without place of refuge
Or arms to hold me
To tell me I'm welcome home

I’m tired of seeing what I don't see
In my dreams it isn't there
I’m tired of the promises made to break
Tired of always hoping they care
I’m weary of the walls that comfort me
And how even they scream and rip at my skin
Tearing everything I could ever love about me
From the deepest parts of my soul within

Its as if the nails are laughing
Because I’m stuck in my internal hell
And the dry wall- void of color
Paints the darkest black upon my shell
Fading into the abyss of nothing
And disappearing you see me not
Fighting, dying, alone again
These devil walls are all I've got

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______________________

<a name="#spiritual">Spiritual
Or Inspirational
</a>

<a name="#six"> "Can You Pray" </a>

People pray and pray some more.
THey pray like they've never prayed before.
People please, send a prayer my way.
I need a miracle worked today.
See, my sis is sick and hope is all that's left.
Shes in God's hands and that's where she'll be kept.
The doctors say theres no way she'll survive,
But, see, in our hearts, she'll always be alive.
Shes got cancer here and cancer there.
I hate to say it, but its everywhere.
We gotta trust in God and pray to the lord,
Cause a miracle is what we're all searchin for.
So I ask of you please,
Pray for my sis.
Pray that she'll make it through all of this.

****This poem was written for my older sister Michelle in 2001. The very next day she passed away. ***

Originally posted at: "Can You Pray"

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______________________

<a name="#seven"> "Islam"</a>

I sat there ignorant of your reasons;
Ignorant to your way of life.
I overlooked your holybook
And I dishonored the ways of your wife.
I argued it was horrid, disrespectful!
She Lives in pure SHAME!
But I was ignorant to your beliefs.
It's her honor she bares that name!
As my uncle gloated about the deaths
of so many just like you,
I dismissed his story of Mecca's Massacre
Fore I had better things to do.
Why was I blind? You are so beautiful now to me.
Why could I not open my up my eyes
Even once to just try to believe?
Why do you not hate me and scream
"GO AWAY!"
When I, ignorant to your life,
Exiled the reasons you pray.
I sit here today and I, humble
with meek and gentle eyes,
wipe the tears away,
So proud that I can finally cry!
I surrender to this my beauty-
my beliefs of all things true.
I surrender my ears to your teachings
As I may forever be moulded by you.

Originally posted at: "Islam"

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______________________

<a name="#romance">Love And Romance</a>

<a name="#eight"> "Dance To Me" </a>

As the world grew still
You danced to me like Denishawn
Forming your life into tangible beauty
Floating through space
Right before my very eyes.
With your masculine tenderness
As you dance to center stage
the dancers fall all around you.
Its you and me- but where do we go?
How can we make our solos intertwine into our duet?

FORM TO THE PAIN and BURST AWAY!
THROW YOUR ARMS IN THE AIR
and STOP YOUR BODY FROM FALLING!
LET YOUR HANDS LEAD YOU TO BOW YOUR HEAD
and show me that even masculine men can cry.

As the whole world falls down around us
We are alone. We see no one but eachother!
The stage is filled with dead-like bodies
Flung helplessly about the floor.
And we are separated! But we are still blind only to see
OUR DANCE.
And it is beautiful.
It is love.
It is you and me!

Originally posted at: "Dance To Me"

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______________________

<a name="#nine"> "Broken Snow Globe" </a>

You shatter me.
A light shines on my broken pieces
and I realize I'm alone.
My undone glass is scattered on your floor.
My snow is now splayed out for my bed.
And my water seeps beneath your furniture.
I'm unalive. Separated from the heated fortune of love...

You saw me sitting there pretty.
I lost myself when you shook me
to see how I dance...
I could dance... then.
You dug to find the change to keep me...
and you showed me off.
I was so beautiful,
I even played music when you wanted to hear.
All you needed was to wind me up.

What happened when I sat on your shelf unheard?
You didn't want to hear me sing.
You didn't want to hear me at all.

"Just be quiet. Just sit there. You're only for decoration."

I saw my reflection everyday in that mirror
that you put me before.
My snow was unmoving... day after day
and people would stare at me...
Oh how pretty they thought I was...
But I could see me changed.
I knew how I could really be.

I understood you once when you were angry.
I thought things would get better with a little shot here and there.
I thought that time would prove you worthy of my beauty.
But I found out that time only made my beauty fade
and dust would gather on my shine
and time only silenced my verse...
time would be my end.

And you knocked me off the mantle today.
I thought I could make it.
but no one will see me here anymore.
No one will tenderly turn on my song.
I'm just a broken snow globe
Undancing and unpretty
shattered in pieces to be swept away
to be unappreciated and my memory ignored.

Originally posted at: "Broken Snow Globe"

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______________________

<a name="#tribute">In Tribute</a>

<a name="#ten"> "Do Not Give In" [For Jen- Jhanke] </a>

Do not wallow in that darkness
And settle onto that cold dirt
Do not close those golden eyelids
No matter how deep your wounds may hurt
Do not give your gentle body
Helpless and tired to the black
Do not fade away into the nothing
So far I can never get you back
Do not follow the hand that beckons
Like the angels- To silence your cries
The dead grip will engulp you
It will erase you from Gods eyes
And the warriors then will surface
Cloaked with his burning deathly might
To take your dying soul deeper
From the earth to the dark of night
Swirling far within your body
There lies the strength to fight
Do not fade away - do not fall...
Do not close those eyes to the light!

Originally posted at: "Do Not Give In" [For Jen- Jhanke]

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______________________

<a name="#prose">Prose And Stories</a>

<a name="#eleven"> The first chapter to my book </a>

Chapter One:

He was a dream. Or so it felt that way everytime I thought of him. Like he was out of my reach. Three years ago I met him- half sober, stumbling, then perfectly walking up my porch steps into my living room. Then, he seemed like another guy I'd probably have a "fling" with if anything at all and the feelings would fade away... mutually. His old brown Justin boots and dip-claimed pocketed blue Wranglers caught my eyes first, then his heart-felt, heart-warming smile. Conversation was simple between us and every time we ended up alone in the same room together his lips graced me with soft, deep kisses and his hands wandered carelessly about my lust-hot body. I didn't see him everyday. Not even every month. But when I did fire flowed through my veins. The stories my brothers would tell me of him made me feel like I meant nothing and that his too perfect, too mesmerizing charms had just made him have another admirerer among the many. He was their best friend and he was my "secret" crush.

Three years past and I saw him again. He stood there in his loose flannel over a dirty white T-shirt painting red-wagon paint over old copper-brown rust. His tanned white skin-SO ENTICING- and the scent I always seemed to leave with after hugging him so tightly was just as stomach-tangling as before. I hid my emotions then as best I could, but when he didn't try to hide his, I had just a little Bud Light, and we were paid attention to only by eachother, my tounge and his met again for the first time in three years. He looked at me with his beautiful, entrancing brown eyes and would put his arm around me rubbing my back, gently sliding his hand over my bra-strap and side or shoulder. I was six years younger than he was and at twenty-two, he had to wait for me to "almost be legal." "Seventeen" is what he said and he was serious! I looked at him, kissed him and was held by him in so much impatience for December seventh- a little over eight months away- to roll around so I could be his and he mine. When I looked at him, I couldn't believe he liked me so much. He was too much what I wanted to trully want me too. Or so I thought.

I thought of him everyday after that chilly night in March when he let me wear that old flannel that I so happened to take home with me. I hung his shirt by my door and every time he crossed my mind (which was quite often) I looked at it or either I smelled it to smell him all over again.

My brother didn't understand why Mike liked me, but then again, he was my brother after all. I'd never told him if I liked any of his friends, but as we drove away from Mike's house that night, my brothers words echoed in my mind: "Mike likes you. I'll have to keep him away from you." "Mike likes you." "...Likes you." "...Likes you." "Mike... you." "Mike likes you. I'll have to keep him away from you."

I guess it would have been two or three days later when I realized DJ wasn't joking about those anchored-down words. He sat on top of "Dick's" Grey trashcan that pressed the patch of green clovers flat turning them yellow beside our wobbly brown steps, looking at me as though I was on his mind. My all too protective uncle, Jeff stood in front of those steps and I sat on an old light-blue horse barrel directly across from DJ and looking him dead in the eyes.

"I can't take Manda over to my buddy's house anymore," DJ said. "He's tryin' to kis on 'er and he's twenty-two!" DJ turned his head to the left and spat on the moist, newly sun-touched ground. I looked down at the purple flower that had fallen out of my hair onto my shirt and picked it up so DJ couldn't see how interested I was in what he was saying.

"Oh shit," added Jeffrey as he stuck his long hands somewhere deep in the pockets of his blue jeans.

DJ looked up at him and smirked before telling him the story of the other night. "I told 'im if he kissed 'er, I'd hit 'im right in the jaw." I looked up then from the flower I had already forgotten I was holding.

"You did," I asked. Really I didn't remember that being said. Actually, I knew that I hadn't heard those words because if I did, I wouldn't have drew Mike into me by my feet as I sat on the tailgate of his old, white truck. Holding the almost empty can of Bud Light in my left hand, I pulled his body over to me with my right as I clasped onto his white T-shirt and kissed his soft lips. "OH MY GOD! I BETTER NOT LET DJ KNOW," I cautioned to myself.

"Yeah. You were standing right there, too. Didn't you hear me?"

"No. Daniel or whatever his name is must have been talking to me." "KEEP A STRAIGHT FACE," I said to myself. "DON'T LET HIM KNOW THAT YOU'RE KEEPING SOMETHING HIDDEN."

"Yeah, Daniel," he assured me. "Well, I told 'im." If DJ detected my interest or secret at all, it would have been then when I smiled for almost three whole seconds. Or maybe later as the two of us washed his old Ford truck in fromt of our house. The truck was parked off the side of the dead end road we lived on and it straddled the foot-deep ditch that took at least four rounds to get mowed. DJ transferred the green water hose from the interrior side of the truck to the side next to the road... the driver's side. I carried the bucket of soapy water and the sponge. "If you ever let Mike do anything to you, I'll kick you ass," DJ said so incredibly random it kind of surprised me. "You better jus' tell 'im no and if he keeps goin' then I'll kick his ass. All Mike wants is to get in your pants." It wsa my silence that would have given my away or again, that damn smile I never noticed 'till it had already appeared. This time the flower was long ago thrown on the ground and I had a bucket and soapy water to occupy my eyes with. DJ always had some way to bring me down; Some way to ruin that WOW HE LIKES ME feeling even though I knew I wouldn't see Mike again for, who knew, eight months or more. DJ Said so much that day about Mike and me it left me confused. He told me that when he met Ashley,his future wife, she was sixteen and he was twenty-two. He said when he found out how old she was he didn't date her again until she was eighteen. That left a permanent thought in my mind: Seventeen wasn't when Mike Phoenix and I would be together. It was eighteen and I knew it. Forget eight months. It was twenty months. Just a little over a year and a half away. I just prayed Mike wouldn't fall in love with someone else before I was old enough to be "his girlfriend."

I felt especially bad when I was with another guy because I knew that it wasn't going anywhere but he thought it was. And when his family started talking to me about marriage, I couldn't believe what I had done. Not only did I feel like I was using my boyfriend, but is all accepting family too. What's worse, maybe, is that when we had our best moments together- best kisses- I was thiking of Mike and picturing Mike's lusciously soft lips pressed against mine.

Originally posted at: The first chapter to my book

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______________________

<a name="#haiku">Haiku</a>

<a name="#twelve"> "Dying" </a>

Her tears were crimson
With Life bleeding through her eyes
Hope forever lost

Originally posted at: "Dying"

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______________________

<a name="#thirteen"> "Witness To Love" </a>

A witness to love
He watched his child lay flowers
On her mother's grave

Originally posted at: "Witness To Love"

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______________________

<a name="#fourteen"> "Don't Hit Me" </a>

Knee scrapes from before-
All open wounds heal- Just please...
Don't hit me again.

Originally posted at: "Don't Hit Me"

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______________________
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<a href="#top">RETURN TO TABLE OF CONTENTS</a></center>
Last edited by Jade on Sat Aug 20, 2005 1:32 am, edited 44 times in total.
sticks and stones are hard on bones
aimed with angry art,
words can sting like all things
but it's silence that breaks the heart
click here to view **MY ARCHIVE**

User avatar
Jade
The Pages Passionate Princess
Posts: 270
Joined: Sat May 22, 2004 6:15 pm
Location: North Carolina, USA

Fighting the Fear

Post by Jade » Sat Sep 25, 2004 7:11 am

<a name="#fifteen"> Fighting the Fear </a>

I could never hold back
The fears I were feeling
When I held you in my arms
They burst from inside me
Like walls crumbing down
For I had hoped that with you
Maybe I'd be different.

I knew from the start
There was no way it'd be true
But I couldn't let you walk
right out of my life
I had to try
For everything about you
was so right
I couldn't just let you walk away

The first few days were scarry
I knew what I was getting myself into
But I'd only live in regret if I didn't
I knew that you were everything
that I ever wanted
But that scared me more

So far deep did I break my rules
When I let you into my life
So hard did I hit the ground crying.
I needed God's guidance.
I needed his help to show me how to believe

There were no corners in which
I didn't hide
I hid from the world as I sat there
Thinking of you
And you waited for me
How could you wait for me
Why

Now looking back,
I see how patient you were
And that everything I did
Scared you too
As I turned my head away from your kisses
And rolled over on my opposite side of you
Just because I was afraid of love
You didn't leave me
You brought me back to life
You pumped the breath into my soul
And the beats into my heart
Somewhere I came across a miracle
And looked beyond it
I looked around it
Finally, when I looked within it
I found you


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Last edited by Jade on Sat Sep 25, 2004 10:12 am, edited 2 times in total.
sticks and stones are hard on bones
aimed with angry art,
words can sting like all things
but it's silence that breaks the heart
click here to view **MY ARCHIVE**

User avatar
Jade
The Pages Passionate Princess
Posts: 270
Joined: Sat May 22, 2004 6:15 pm
Location: North Carolina, USA

I will fight

Post by Jade » Mon Sep 27, 2004 2:48 pm

<a name="#sixteen"> I will fight </a>

Theres no way you can break me
Theres no way you can bring me down
There is no possible doorway
That will lead me to the ground
You can't say the words that cut me
deep enough to bleed my heart
You can't do a thing that will shake me
You can't break me
Or tear me apart
Your eyes are only made of glass
WIth that glass I can see right through
There is no way for me to stumble
Simply from the likes of you
Try as you plase - try as you might
There is no way that I
Will ever give up this fight
Theres no way you can break me
I'll swing till my death
Nothing you do will ever shake me
I will fight till my last breath!


<a href="#top">Back to Index :arrow: </a>
sticks and stones are hard on bones
aimed with angry art,
words can sting like all things
but it's silence that breaks the heart
click here to view **MY ARCHIVE**

User avatar
Jade
The Pages Passionate Princess
Posts: 270
Joined: Sat May 22, 2004 6:15 pm
Location: North Carolina, USA

Upon Your Grave

Post by Jade » Wed Sep 29, 2004 5:10 am

<a name="#seventeen"> Upon Your Grave </a>

As I whisper to your tombstone
I know that you aren’t there
But somehow it brings me closer
Making things easier to bare
I remember when you told me
That your spirit would never die
And that if you ever left me
To stay strong and not to cry
For the world would never witness
A love greater than our own
We could never be torn apart
From some simple man made stone
There would always be my baby
Watching out over me
Holding me when I was sleeping
The greatest love there could ever be
But as the fall leaves are blowing
I know that you aren’t here
You are further out from my reach
The truth is dark and clear
I know that I will never see
Your shining smile again
I know that when I fall asleep
My dreams alone will be my friend
I know that you aren’t with me
You can’t hold me when the day goes wrong
There is no refuge from my worries
My heart must learn to be strong
Cringing and crying I collapse
Here upon the dirt I lay
Begging you to come back to me
And this nightmare to go away
I bleed my life among you
Breaking from you in forced despair
Hating God for stealing you
And for being so damn unfair
If I can see you on the other side
I know my place is there
With nothing I can do without you
I’ll join the night from the scars I bare


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________________________

<a name="#eighteen"> Ashamed </a>

If for your dreams
Is all that I am
And for the nights
When your tears hold your hands
If only in the dark
Am I pretty to you
And only when you're lonely
Is your "love" almost true
If with a sodden glare
You run to know my kiss
I understand you are ashamed
To need a peasant girl like this
But I know what I need to do
So tell them what you may
When I wave and walk away
But you'll realize I needed you too
When I'm not there at the end of the day

---------------------------------------------------
I don't like how I ended this poem. I wanted it to be something like that, but I couldn't come up with anything better. I thought about changing the last line to:
When I'm not there to end your day
But I don't know. Any suggestions? I might need to add more body to it, but again I can't think of anything. Can you?

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Last edited by Jade on Wed Sep 29, 2004 1:27 pm, edited 1 time in total.
sticks and stones are hard on bones
aimed with angry art,
words can sting like all things
but it's silence that breaks the heart
click here to view **MY ARCHIVE**

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GoddessErika
In-a-Sense Lost
Posts: 577
Joined: Wed Oct 20, 2004 11:53 pm
Location: Dislocated
Contact:

Post by GoddessErika » Sun Aug 28, 2005 1:29 pm

<center>Edit complete 8/28/2005 ~GoddessErika</center>

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Jade
The Pages Passionate Princess
Posts: 270
Joined: Sat May 22, 2004 6:15 pm
Location: North Carolina, USA

Post by Jade » Wed Mar 07, 2007 10:27 am

The Raven dashed from swirling winds
Amongst the dusty form of life
blinded by weary waters
Filled with chaos, filled with strife
His metaphor went unnoticed
Like his unaccepted name
his song unheard, uncared for
As he flew from pouring rains

Against the night, against the day
His eager wings
Took him away

Into the icy storm he went
Above the river high
Through the dark valley
And the o'er the mountains
To reach the sky

Even with his unsure start
He fears the failure
Of an unspoken heart

His wings, they beat, tattered and torn
With a rhythm so rich and so warm
Filled with hope and faith of his own strength
He flys through the raging storm
Against the world he rises
With the rain behind his wings
To the top of the mountain he flys
And the entire earth will hear this poet sing

________________________________________

He Didn't Think

He didn't think about the setting sun
as he drove away with broken headlights.
Driving me off into the distance
to clear my head --
Green forests lie await around the bend...
Green forests for his working hands
to proscribe me of his mind.
Dragooning me into the poetry and song
of nothing.
How can I remain in the umbrage
Of uncertainty--
strung like my old guitar --
Shattered alongside the bulbs of his truck.

It was an offer prepossesive...
offering a light heart and peace of mind ;
it would leave me confused.
The hands I counted, the heart I ceded to him--
I misunderstood his pignus of us --
his pignus of love
so I withstood his flummeries
and the phases of disgust I saw in him...
All to watch my watch stop
on a chocolate-box hope for something real
because he didn't think
as he jugulated my heart.
sticks and stones are hard on bones
aimed with angry art,
words can sting like all things
but it's silence that breaks the heart
click here to view **MY ARCHIVE**

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heinzs
The Fat Cat
Posts: 8370
Joined: Tue Dec 18, 2001 12:01 am
Tag line: Do no harm
Location: Novato, CA
Contact:

Post by heinzs » Sat Apr 21, 2007 4:47 pm

alphabetizing
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An' it harm none, do what ye will. Blessed Be.
Image
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My Poet's Page Archive | Topics I've started

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Jade
The Pages Passionate Princess
Posts: 270
Joined: Sat May 22, 2004 6:15 pm
Location: North Carolina, USA

Re: Jade

Post by Jade » Fri Jun 17, 2016 6:46 am

A Libra Rabbit and A Sagittarius Tiger

I loved you when I first saw you.
I knew after the first conversation
That we must be kindred spirits -
Sisters by bond rather than blood;
Sisters of the soul
In past lifetimes and future.

We helped each other through
The hardest part of our childhoods.
And even as adults, through more hard times.
When I felt like giving up,
Like an angel you would appear
To speak of hope and love;
To lift my spirits.
When I felt unloved by all
You came to prove that you
Will never stop loving me.
And then you would vanish.

I have done the same for you -
My sister by bond.
I have cried many times in my life
When I could not speak to you,
When I could not reach you, or
Know where you were in the world;
When I couldn't find my soul's sister.

Somehow you always return to me,
A fluttering butterfly
Beautiful in every way,
Only here for a moment -
Shedding encouragement and hope.
Then gracefully flying away.

I've tried my best to catch you
To keep you for a little while longer.
But it seems I'm always too slow.
You're gone before I can say good-bye.
But I will always await the day
When your wings
Will fly my way again.
Sincerely with love,
The white Tiger.


This is my Tribute to my best friend since the first day of highschool

************

Love Overcomes

Love Overcomes

As I think back, oh 27 years ago.
It was just you and me.
At two years old we were already
Best friends,
Even in diapers.
Two babies floating round and round
The swimming pool.

You say now that
You were always mean to me.
But that's not how I remember.
To me, you were just my
Slightly dominant best bud.
You were my moody cousin
That always got her way
Whom I had loved
Even in diapers.

I think back to, oh,
17 years ago
When We were twelve and
You had a lot more friends
Compared to me.
So I was jealous
Because I didn't want to share
My favorite cousin.

I remember being envious
Of you
Because your parents thought
You would never tell a lie.
And my mom blamed me
For everything.
Your clothes were nicer
And I could never make
A gingerbread house
At my home.
I wanted your life
But I wanted you there too
Always
because I looked up to you.

I try to think back
Oh, seven years ago,
And I remember that you
Were still the girl
That took crap from nobody,
And you said what you wanted
To say.
And you did what you wanted
To do.
And you went where you wanted
To go.
And everyone wanted you
For themselves just like me.
I can hear a few words
Aimed to break my heart though.
But as your quiet little cousin
I was stronger than
Every ill word you said to me
And I knew that absolutely nothing
Could stop me from
Loving you.

Here we are today
And my moody cousin has blossomed
Into an understanding young mother
With a baby of your own
Sitting in diapers.
I realize maybe
All the love I had tried
To show you
Over the years
In spite of the distance
That maybe you felt it
Still
Maybe my love for you
Had gotten through

And now you are telling me
That you love me too
And that you're sorry
For being a mean little girl.
But I remind you
As you fill my ears
With fresh sugar phrases
And new candy sweet words
As you show me your heart
That beats with intentions pure
I can't help but remind you
That I've always known
The kindness was within you
And you've just always been
My slightly more dominant
Moody cousin.
And I love you more still
With every heartfelt word you say.
The same love that
I've always had for you
Throughout all these years.
Even when we were
In diapers.


**This is the second poem I've written in over two years. It was written for my cousin, Natalya. She really enjoyed it when she read it and started crying. <3 I just wanted her to know I love her and I forgive her.
Written July 19, 2016 @ 12:30 in the morning. :)**
sticks and stones are hard on bones
aimed with angry art,
words can sting like all things
but it's silence that breaks the heart
click here to view **MY ARCHIVE**

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