Paying the Toll

Forum for your general poetry that may or may not also fit into other forums as well.

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Forum for your general poetry that may or may not also fit into other forums as well. If you wouldn't want your 12-year old daughter to read it, don't post it here.
Autoprune 12 months.
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Leylow
Clearwater Poet
Posts: 45
Joined: Thu Sep 30, 2010 2:27 pm
Location: Hot Springs National Park, Arkansas

Paying the Toll

Post by Leylow » Thu Jul 09, 2015 12:43 pm

(Let me preface this by saying -- this is not an auto-biography. It's a poem I wrote trying to stay in the rhyming pattern. It took on a life of its own as I wrote.)

The five o’clock queue moves hurriedly to the doors;
Laughter and determination carries each away.
Alone, she slips silently apart from the cackling corps.
She’s a distorted illusion, an actor in a shadow play.
It’s not the life she dreamed, schemed or planned
But the one that conspired with past mistakes
To lay hold of her uncultivated promised land
And leave her solitary, afraid, misplaced.
She trudges down the path, lost in tumbling thoughts
That dwell on what-ifs, should-haves and loss.
Her future forsaken by memories tied in strangle knots
That have faded from golden into doleful dross.
She walks to the bus stop, boards the blue line,
Avoids eye contact with her fellow raucous riders.
Her destination, the tiny house beside the scotch pine
They once shared, in love, secluded from outsiders.
Another solitary night, locked behind dirty windows,
And three deadbolts slid home to keep out the world.
She sits in the darkness in silent commune with shadows.
Any joy she once felt, blocked, put away, furled.
Tomorrow’s another day, she remembers her mother’s claim.
She knows there is no tomorrow, just the repeating life
Where days blend one into the other, no change, the same;
Where reality slices dreams with the skill of a surgeon’s knife.
Sleep eludes, then offers intermittent rest in the gloom
Until daylight breaks through the dusty, tattered curtain.
She replays the routine, slides into the masquerade costume,
Walks to the bus stop, heavy with her self-imposed burden.
No one sees her now, they have forsaken efforts to include.
Her isolation offers no true comfort, no balm for her soul,
There’s only her acceptance of years of sadness accrued
In payment for love’s betrayal, the ultimate journey’s toll.
-- Leysa --

[indent]"Poetry and Hums aren't things which you get, they're things which get you. And all you can do is go where they can find you." -- Pooh's Little Instruction Book, inspired by A. A. Milne[/indent]

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Moushka
Blue Sea Poet
Posts: 543
Joined: Sat Jul 21, 2007 3:48 pm
Tag line: Learning to trust God
Location: Anchorage, Alaska
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Re: Paying the Toll

Post by Moushka » Sun Jul 19, 2015 4:12 am

Like endless days. I enjoyed reading this.
Stuck on Number 2. Learning to begin.
1.Believe 2.Belong 3.Become
1.Awareness 2.Acceptance 3.Action

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Leylow
Clearwater Poet
Posts: 45
Joined: Thu Sep 30, 2010 2:27 pm
Location: Hot Springs National Park, Arkansas

Re: Paying the Toll

Post by Leylow » Fri Aug 07, 2015 11:49 am

Thank you. I was feeling a bit sad because my husband had been on the road for a couple of weeks. I took advantage of the mood and wrote. I haven't written anything in ages. It felt good to write again.
-- Leysa --

[indent]"Poetry and Hums aren't things which you get, they're things which get you. And all you can do is go where they can find you." -- Pooh's Little Instruction Book, inspired by A. A. Milne[/indent]

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