This old man
doesn't hear a thing I say
a fevered flame
manic mass of gray
recollect
collect your thoughts in a jar
that's just who you are
and I love you
yesterday
I was your pet
or was it the moon
it's easy to forget
still hard to swallow
cast and crew
each one acting the part
I flubbed my line
the horse before the cart
now you're breaking my heart
oh
the leaves can rake themselves
this is where we belong
right now (any fool can see)
your will is strong
in this fiction
I'm struck by the fact
there's no turning back
days like suitcases are packed
castaway
things sometimes fall apart
I just hum the tune
to the top of the chart
and it's breaking my heart.
This Old Man
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Forum for your general poetry that may or may not also fit into other forums as well. If you wouldn't want your 12-year old daughter to read it, don't post it here.
Autoprune 12 months.
Forum for your general poetry that may or may not also fit into other forums as well. If you wouldn't want your 12-year old daughter to read it, don't post it here.
Autoprune 12 months.
This Old Man
Last edited by audiofool on Fri Oct 31, 2014 12:52 am, edited 2 times in total.
- Travis
- The Transformed One
- Posts: 463
- Joined: Thu Feb 09, 2012 5:31 pm
- Tag line: The Truth Transforms
- Location: North Eastern, IN
- Contact:
Re: This Old Man
I liked this! There are some great images, here. I thought the last stanza could flow easier but overall, it was the emotive message you conveyed that reached out to me.
~Travis
~Travis
The soul becomes dyed with the color of its thoughts. ~Marcus Aurelius
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**Member of the Month**
May 2012
Re: This Old Man
Thank you, Travis. My wife's dad is experiencing several health issues related to aging/genetics. I suppose that's the subject expressed here.
- DarleneG
- 65 Roses
- Posts: 769
- Joined: Mon Jun 18, 2012 5:29 am
- Tag line: Encourage One Another
- Location: San Diego, CA
Re: This Old Man
I liked your poem, too. And I am so sorry about your wife's father. I can relate with the illnesses that come with aging (because I am there, too). Loved your line (Days like suitcases are packed).
"Poetry is what in a poem makes your toenails twinkle."----Dylan Thomas
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**Member of the Month**
July 2012
Re: This Old Man
Thank you, Darlene.
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