Gnomosexuality

Forum for your general poetry that may or may not also fit into other forums as well.

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Forum for your general poetry that may or may not also fit into other forums as well. If you wouldn't want your 12-year old daughter to read it, don't post it here.
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Crooklyn
Clearwater Poet
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Gnomosexuality

Post by Crooklyn » Tue Aug 31, 2010 11:04 am

I fell in love last Tuesday
with a granite garden gnome
who shrugged off my advances
on the lawn outside my home.

I brought him pretty flowers
that I’d gathered in a bunch
and asked the little garden gnome
if he was free for lunch.

The garden gnome said nothing…
he just stared me in the eye.
I’m not good at rejection
so I started-in to cry.

“You didn’t have to be so rude,”
I sputtered through my sobs.
“I never knew that garden gnomes
were such conceited snobs!”

With teary eyes I glared at him
as he returned the stare,
content to stand in silence
proving that he didn’t care.

“Just like a man!” I mumbled,
while retreating toward the door.
“You think you want a lover
when you really want a whore!”

I slammed the door behind me,
heading straight for the garage,
and fired up the engine
on my ’96 Mirage.

I closed my eyes to wait for death
and started breathing deep.
I prayed for God to bless me
with a never-ending sleep.

A long time passed, it seemed to me,
yet still I was alive.
How long should I expect to wait
for mercy to arrive?

Then in my rearview mirror,
I could see from where I sat,
my garden gnome was balancing
the door upon his hat!

I fell in love last Tuesday
with a granite garden gnome,
and though he’s very quiet
he’s the rock of our new home.

-HSWIV
Last edited by Crooklyn on Tue Aug 31, 2010 12:00 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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bags123
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Re: Gnomosexuality

Post by bags123 » Tue Aug 31, 2010 11:48 am

Hi Crooklyn,
A throughly entertaining piece. I've always has a secret fondness for garden gnomes myself. :thewave:
I prefer to keep an open mind,....but not so much that my brains fall out.- Carl Sagan
Your brain is like an umbrella. It only works when it's open- Someone Smart


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Sailor55
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Re: Gnomosexuality

Post by Sailor55 » Tue Aug 31, 2010 11:54 am

Goodness. Where did you come from Crooklyn? You weren't about these parts when I started to become quite sparse around here.

Not many rhymesters post here. They are a rare breed whom many seem unable to appreciate. But, being a lyricist, I do. Quite.

Your meter is impeccable. I read through your piece waiting for you to drop meter somewhere. You didn't do it. (Even though you must pronounce it re-jec-tion). Anyway, it means you cared. It means you though about your syllables long and hard. It means for every line I read, eight others were probably rejected. Good on you.

And a charming little story that strongly hints of something much bigger in the air. You did it right I think. When a piece gently pulls me through from beginning to end in a slow easy slide I consider it a job well done. I would make a very tiny change from "I prayed to God to bless me" to "I prayed for God to bless me". The double use of the word "to" is a wee stumbling stone in a wonderfully homogenous honey. - Dan
An easy read is a hard write.

Crooklyn
Clearwater Poet
Posts: 45
Joined: Thu Mar 06, 2008 1:34 pm
Location: Connecticut

Re: Gnomosexuality

Post by Crooklyn » Tue Aug 31, 2010 12:04 pm

Thanks guys, and yes, I've taken a bit of a break from the poetry lately, but I want to get going again when I have the time. And thanks for the edit, Sailor, good catch!

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gordy
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Re: Gnomosexuality

Post by gordy » Tue Aug 31, 2010 1:09 pm

nice :thumbsup:
-----------------------------
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My Jesus hung out with thieves and sluts and liars, which Jesus do you worship?

---Todd Agnew


Perfection is my enemy
Procrastination is his cohort
Persistence is my sword

---Gordy

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heinzs
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Re: Gnomosexuality

Post by heinzs » Tue Aug 31, 2010 5:06 pm

:bow:
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An' it harm none, do what ye will. Blessed Be.
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My Poet's Page Archive | Topics I've started

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gordy
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Re: Gnomosexuality

Post by gordy » Tue Aug 31, 2010 5:39 pm

props on the title too! :thumbsup:
-----------------------------
Image

My Jesus hung out with thieves and sluts and liars, which Jesus do you worship?

---Todd Agnew


Perfection is my enemy
Procrastination is his cohort
Persistence is my sword

---Gordy

Jadynara
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Re: Gnomosexuality

Post by Jadynara » Tue Aug 31, 2010 6:59 pm

:thewave:
This is awesome. Great read thansk for sharing. :thumbsup:
So we're lost, at least we've found each other. Take my hand, if we can't find our way out of the dark, we can make our own light. - Nicole M. Goretzke 2011

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nekot
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Re: Gnomosexuality

Post by nekot » Wed Sep 01, 2010 8:44 am

Nice to *see* you Crooklyn.

And another awesome piece!

It started me out with a chuckle. I then ventured into a deeper, darker place. And was left wondering at the end. There are some layers in there.

Bravo!

On a different note, I was looking for a poem on the Pages...did a search for it the other day. It's about Buddha and Jesus and the Dalai Lama in a booth at a cafe. I couldnt' find it in search and I couldn't remember who wrote it. But I think now, that it was you that penned that piece? If so, could you repost it? (unless it's on here somewhere and I just can't find it.)
~eloquently scattered~
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Crooklyn
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Location: Connecticut

Re: Gnomosexuality

Post by Crooklyn » Wed Sep 08, 2010 9:11 am

Hi Nekot, yes the "Gods in a Booth" poem was mine, I guess it got auto-pruned. I'll see if I can find it and repost, it's probably on my laptop at home.

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nekot
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Re: Gnomosexuality

Post by nekot » Wed Sep 08, 2010 9:19 am

Crooklyn wrote:Hi Nekot, yes the "Gods in a Booth" poem was mine, I guess it got auto-pruned. I'll see if I can find it and repost, it's probably on my laptop at home.
Oh goodie!!!

Could I post it on my poetry blog? (Here is a link to my poetry blog: http://parchmentanthology.blogspot.com/ )

I would credit you, of course. I would also link the blog post to your poem here on the Pages, once you repost it. If you say yes to me posting it on my poetry blog, would you want me to use another author name along with "crooklyn?" And if you say no, I understand. :grin:

Looking forward to reading "God's in a Booth" again. *thumbsup*

:hello:
~eloquently scattered~
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poeticpiers
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Re: Gnomosexuality

Post by poeticpiers » Thu Sep 16, 2010 12:31 pm

Well written well thought out I enjoyed on several levels.The wry humour and the deeer meanings it concealed I applaud loudly ivor
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Crooklyn
Clearwater Poet
Posts: 45
Joined: Thu Mar 06, 2008 1:34 pm
Location: Connecticut

Re: Gnomosexuality

Post by Crooklyn » Sun Aug 21, 2011 3:03 am

Wow, it's been a couple of years since I've looked-up my old work. This is probably the best thing I've ever written. :hearts:

poeticpiers reborn
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Re: Gnomosexuality

Post by poeticpiers reborn » Mon Sep 05, 2011 7:35 am

A true rhymster welcome home

Crooklyn
Clearwater Poet
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Joined: Thu Mar 06, 2008 1:34 pm
Location: Connecticut

Re: Gnomosexuality

Post by Crooklyn » Sun Jan 22, 2012 10:53 pm

I'd love it if more people read this and let me know what they thought about it.

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