reflections (extended version)
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Forum for your general poetry that may or may not also fit into other forums as well. If you wouldn't want your 12-year old daughter to read it, don't post it here.
Autoprune 12 months.
Forum for your general poetry that may or may not also fit into other forums as well. If you wouldn't want your 12-year old daughter to read it, don't post it here.
Autoprune 12 months.
reflections (extended version)
As I sit sullen, staring out the window
at the tree
I see the leaves falling off
and falling
free
One
at a time
or
in pairs
or in three's
Falling freely, until the windy breeze
carries them away from the tree
Like time has carried you from me
It's cold now
the fall has come
I will call it "the fall'
For too sweet is the sound of "autumn"
too sweet and cheery for me
although, maybe it is kind------to some
But to me,
it is fallen hopes.
And autumn dreams
are only undone things
I stare, still, out the window, at the tree
It's dark now and I can see
A reflection in the window of me
It's as if my face is superimposed onto the tree
The empty , lonely, barren tree and me
But the tree is a hopeful thing
For it's leaves will return in spring
But I am left with the truthful sting
That the last of you, I have already seen
this is the original version of this poem that i wrote about six years before the "happier" one. whatdya all think about the difference between the two. [img]images/smiles/icon_wink.gif[/img] [img]images/smiles/icon_razz.gif[/img]
at the tree
I see the leaves falling off
and falling
free
One
at a time
or
in pairs
or in three's
Falling freely, until the windy breeze
carries them away from the tree
Like time has carried you from me
It's cold now
the fall has come
I will call it "the fall'
For too sweet is the sound of "autumn"
too sweet and cheery for me
although, maybe it is kind------to some
But to me,
it is fallen hopes.
And autumn dreams
are only undone things
I stare, still, out the window, at the tree
It's dark now and I can see
A reflection in the window of me
It's as if my face is superimposed onto the tree
The empty , lonely, barren tree and me
But the tree is a hopeful thing
For it's leaves will return in spring
But I am left with the truthful sting
That the last of you, I have already seen
this is the original version of this poem that i wrote about six years before the "happier" one. whatdya all think about the difference between the two. [img]images/smiles/icon_wink.gif[/img] [img]images/smiles/icon_razz.gif[/img]
Last edited by gordy on Sat Nov 20, 2004 7:49 am, edited 5 times in total.
reflections (extended version)
Ooohh, I like them both, Gordy! I really like the sweet one, but there is something about the darker one that grabs my soul. And what a good idea, to creat 2 versions of a poem with the same name, to show time's affect on a person's life! I must remember to try that, maybe with the 3 Primary Color poems I did, hmmmmmm... [img]images/smiles/icon_smile.gif[/img]
reflections (extended version)
Hi Gordy -
I really enjoyed both reflections. That's what a reflection is n'est pas? Looking at something, then wondering if its reflection is closer to the truth.
Gillian
I really enjoyed both reflections. That's what a reflection is n'est pas? Looking at something, then wondering if its reflection is closer to the truth.
Gillian
reflections (extended version)
thanks gill. i love that picture and thanks for the kind words.
reflections (extended version)
Such true words I am glad someone had the grace to write them and share them.
if you look closely at the comments in this thread, you will see where heinz gave me permission to keep bringing my poems back up "every now and then".......hence the birth of the "gordying technique"......i havent looked back since.......ahhhhhhhaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhaaa
-----------------------------
My Jesus hung out with thieves and sluts and liars, which Jesus do you worship?
---Todd Agnew
Perfection is my enemy
Procrastination is his cohort
Persistence is my sword
---Gordy
My Jesus hung out with thieves and sluts and liars, which Jesus do you worship?
---Todd Agnew
Perfection is my enemy
Procrastination is his cohort
Persistence is my sword
---Gordy
Re: reflections (extended version)
-----------------------------
My Jesus hung out with thieves and sluts and liars, which Jesus do you worship?
---Todd Agnew
Perfection is my enemy
Procrastination is his cohort
Persistence is my sword
---Gordy
My Jesus hung out with thieves and sluts and liars, which Jesus do you worship?
---Todd Agnew
Perfection is my enemy
Procrastination is his cohort
Persistence is my sword
---Gordy
Re: reflections (extended version)
-----------------------------
My Jesus hung out with thieves and sluts and liars, which Jesus do you worship?
---Todd Agnew
Perfection is my enemy
Procrastination is his cohort
Persistence is my sword
---Gordy
My Jesus hung out with thieves and sluts and liars, which Jesus do you worship?
---Todd Agnew
Perfection is my enemy
Procrastination is his cohort
Persistence is my sword
---Gordy
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