Search found 45 matches

by Crooklyn
Thu Sep 11, 2008 8:47 am
Forum: In Tribute
Topic: Airmail from the WTC
Replies: 5
Views: 3998

Airmail from the WTC

Two pillars of smoke
Greasy and grey
Boil eastward over Manhattan

Now cross the river
A fluttering whiteness
The correspondence of the dead

This letter was never mailed
But I got the message

-HSWIV
by Crooklyn
Thu Jul 31, 2008 11:28 am
Forum: Workshop/Critiques Wanted
Topic: She calls me Verrazano
Replies: 10
Views: 4627

Re: She calls me Verrazano

Thanks guys. And Bags, yeah, walking around Manhattan and Brooklyn in the summer is always a nice treat for the eyes.
by Crooklyn
Thu Jun 05, 2008 6:05 am
Forum: Funny Business
Topic: Gourmet At Heart
Replies: 2
Views: 1011

Re: Gourmet At Heart

No wonder you don't like Mcdonalds! lol. Great stuff.
by Crooklyn
Thu May 29, 2008 11:53 am
Forum: Love and Romance
Topic: Love is Never
Replies: 1
Views: 727

Love is Never

Danny and his fiancé made quite the happy pair; Love as true as gospel in a world where love is rare. Danny worked the double-shift to make sure ends would meet. After dinner Danny’s love would gently rub his feet. All his friends just couldn’t wait for Dan to set the date. They all knew, without a ...
by Crooklyn
Fri May 09, 2008 12:48 pm
Forum: Funny Business
Topic: Homemade Time Machine
Replies: 9
Views: 2203

Re: Homemade Time Machine

Thanks guys, I really appreciate it. And Sailor55, I had read that piece of yours before, when I was cruising around the site. Love it! I feel exactly the same way. I don't understand why rhyming, rhythmic poetry is so out of favor these days. I actually quoted your "an easy read is a hard write" si...
by Crooklyn
Wed May 07, 2008 9:05 pm
Forum: Funny Business
Topic: Homemade Time Machine
Replies: 9
Views: 2203

Re: Homemade Time Machine

Thank you for the link! It's a really well-written guide.
by Crooklyn
Wed May 07, 2008 8:22 pm
Forum: Funny Business
Topic: Homemade Time Machine
Replies: 9
Views: 2203

Re: Homemade Time Machine

Thanks, Nekot! You make me blush. I'm having a blast writing these. Thanks for noticing the 1st person throughout. I was worried it may cause confusion. By the way, I'd love any criticism from you or anyone else who happens to read any of my posts. I want to improve, and you folks are my best bet. I...
by Crooklyn
Wed May 07, 2008 12:09 pm
Forum: Funny Business
Topic: Homemade Time Machine
Replies: 9
Views: 2203

Homemade Time Machine

I built a homemade time machine last night when I was bored. I made it out of string and glue atop an old skateboard. I strapped a helmet to my head (Always safety first!) then gleamed the cube to '93 'cause that year was the worst. I rolled myself straight down the drive that led to my high school ...
by Crooklyn
Wed Apr 23, 2008 12:28 pm
Forum: Workshop/Critiques Wanted
Topic: She calls me Verrazano
Replies: 10
Views: 4627

She calls me Verrazano

They call her Staten Island
Naked envy in their eyes
She calls me Verrazano
Bridge the gulf between her thighs

I call her Spanish Harlem
Brownstone beauty of the slums
Belleza de la calle
Something sinful this way comes

- HSWIV

:critique:
by Crooklyn
Mon Apr 14, 2008 6:14 am
Forum: Workshop/Critiques Wanted
Topic: The Sound of Brooklyn
Replies: 3
Views: 1464

Re: The Sound of Brooklyn

Thank you, Cyan, for the suggestions. As you can see, I've incorporated one of them, and made some other changes to reflect your ideas... specifically in the meter and length of each line. I really appreciate your help!

-Crooklyn
by Crooklyn
Fri Apr 11, 2008 12:40 pm
Forum: Workshop/Critiques Wanted
Topic: The Sound of Brooklyn
Replies: 3
Views: 1464

The Sound of Brooklyn

Beats from the street pulsing straight through my window. All new-jack, old-jack, hip-hop latino. It's NAS and it's 50, Chingy and Missy, with a good helathy dose of Los Lobos and Ricky. The volume increases but then fades away as Chevys and Hondas grind by on their way to Flatbush or Coney, Sheepsh...
by Crooklyn
Wed Mar 26, 2008 6:19 am
Forum: Workshop/Critiques Wanted
Topic: In His Hands
Replies: 3
Views: 1490

In His Hands

One brisk and blowing winter's day an ancient and disused padre did shuffle down the sidewalk grey. Long coat of black and collar white, blue eyes asquint against the light, each breath a fog fading from sight. His pockets deep, damp hands within now clutching tight the proof of Sin, smooth surface ...
by Crooklyn
Fri Mar 21, 2008 7:55 pm
Forum: Funny Business
Topic: Too Much?
Replies: 2
Views: 1857

Too Much?

Don't you think
there's too much to drink
and not a drop of water?
There's gin in the sink,
your martini's pink,
and there's beer in the crib
with your daughter!

- HSWIV
by Crooklyn
Fri Mar 21, 2008 7:44 pm
Forum: Workshop/Critiques Wanted
Topic: Keelhauled
Replies: 3
Views: 1734

Keelhauled

There's a boat in the harbor riding low in the waves. There's a hole in its keel and it cannot be saved! The captain is bailing for the first-mate has fled. The cabin-boy frantically bails in her stead. For each bucket bailed six more flow right in, as the captain's wife wails, "Serves you right for...
by Crooklyn
Wed Mar 19, 2008 2:39 pm
Forum: Funny Business
Topic: World of...
Replies: 1
Views: 780

World of...

Ten million souls, I read today are currently registered to play an online game that never ends, that sucks you in and jilts your friends. I got my disks a month ago and swear to God it's helped my flow! My Paladin's now kicking ass and all the chicks are flocking fast. Best sixty bucks I ever spent...

Go to advanced search