Search found 18 matches
Crumbling..... Cliffs on the shore, Eroded to dust What is this? I knew you..... Now you want to change? Hiding your true self all this time My old Friend Nothingness I was inspired by a line I jotted down "As I crumble to dust, I learn the true meaning of nothingness" It will be in a future piece,...
When I think of how we met....... Two strangers in the same lane on the information highway As we passed I noticed a shine from your eyes that nearly stopped time The seconds got longer, The more I looked the more I began to ponder How it felt you seemed familiar like a old memory played again As th...
- Wed Feb 06, 2013 12:33 am
- Forum: The New Members' Café
- Topic: Again and Again
- Replies: 1
- Views: 1430
Down this road once again I look back and you disappeared, Realizing my greatest of fears I love you, I hate you I want you....to go away I need you....Please just stay Tears of my need for you, Disgust Whispers of your fears of us, Mistrust Sadly Ms., This is us Time after time, Over and over Alway...
Nicely written, an emotional ride from low to high of overcoming the past
My favorite part
My favorite part
I can related to those feelingsTravis wrote:Wake me from these dreams
Nothing is as it seems
Memories of melancholy madness
Scarred and stirred sadness
I really like the flow of this, The rhyming is excellent through out. Well penned! :thumbsup: The first few lines for me were amazing I wanted to be your superhero I wanted to be your sun I wanted to be your laughter Your teardrops, your dreams, your fun :bow: I can only hope to write lines that are...
- Sun Dec 09, 2012 1:24 pm
- Forum: Workshop/Critiques Wanted
- Topic: Time (Seeking Refinement, Critique ect..)
- Replies: 3
- Views: 1357
Some of the awkwardness comes in the length of the lines giving mixed signals to natural breaks in rhythm or speech pattern. Yes I see what you mean I like what you did with it, Now to see if I can use your example to make it my own once again Minimalize where you can and show or feel rather than t...